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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to throw something at DH?

33 replies

Hekabe · 15/11/2017 06:31

Our 4 month old DC is waking up 4-5 a night. I am the one that gets up. This week DC woke ON THE HOUR during the night. Confused
I take over on the whole because DH works.

I also work...

DH commiserated my getting upbhourly with the fact me getting up gave him a disturbed night... but offered to be on night duty last night so I could sleep. So at 3.50 I dealt with child as he wasn't up. At 5.50 he rolled over and said " your turn".

AIBU to throw a saucepan at him? Angry Angry

OP posts:
SilverBirchTree · 15/11/2017 06:34

Make it a big saucepan

bigchris · 15/11/2017 06:34

You poor thing !

DollyLlama · 15/11/2017 06:37

Oh your poor DH with his disturbed sleep! Hmm

I have an 8 day old and a toddler who has regressed dreadfully, I feel your pain!

Could you try saying to your DH rather than you both do one feed each, why not have one person on call say 12-3 then the next day 3-6? Me and my OH so this and it's honestly saving our sanity as we are getting some description of sleep.

And YABU, you might wake the baby if you hit him with a saucepan, quietly smother him with a pillow Wink

Original poster
Hekabe · 15/11/2017 06:42

Dolly you made me chuckle.

Good idea though re shift work. He did this at the beginning... now it seems to be all me.

On the other hand he's really good at doing laundry/ washing bottles

Silverbirch I have a nice stock pot?

OP posts:
emwithme · 15/11/2017 06:42

I have a stockpot that holds 7 litres if you want to borrow it

Bowerbird5 · 15/11/2017 07:07

Yeah I was thinking cold water. 7 litres would do it. The trouble is the bed would be wet then what about a wet flannel.

My husband didn't get up as he said there was no point as I was breast feeding! Rarely got up for any of our four.

Splinterz · 15/11/2017 07:15

Does he have to go to work?

With a 4mth old, I assume you are on ML and can sleep during the day?

Original poster
Hekabe · 15/11/2017 07:16

You're totally right. Cold water would be a fine choice for this scenario, but the bed would get wet. And it'd be me who has to change it. Sigh.

OP posts:
Rachie1973 · 15/11/2017 07:44

Splinterz
Does he have to go to work?
With a 4mth old, I assume you are on ML and can sleep during the day

OP says she works too

Original poster
Hekabe · 15/11/2017 08:34

Splinterz sadly no ML as self employed. He does, however pay the mortgage as he earns 3x what I do and we share the rest. That's why I take the night shift. Mostly.

OP posts:
ButtMuncher · 15/11/2017 08:41

Sleep during the day/ sleep when the babies sleeps - ho ho fucking ho Grin my son napped for 30 mins in the first 8 months of his life, so sleep was had in the day here Grin

My DP did no night waking at all. Only does it occasionally now as we're both at work (DS is 14 months old and usually sleeps through). Usually falls to me though Angry

ButtMuncher · 15/11/2017 08:41

So NO sleep was had I mean BlushGrin

cautiousoptimist1 · 15/11/2017 08:45

Urgh I remember the 4 month sleep regression so well. My DD woke up every 45 minutes for about 3 weeks! It was awful. DH and I had to do shifts in the end.
It does get better though OP!

Original poster
Hekabe · 15/11/2017 11:01

Oh please say there's an end in sight with sleep regression Sad not fun!

However, I have a little confession... DH has taken day to look after little one. He thinks I'm in the office. I just had a reflexology treatment and feel marvellous. And kinda naughty. Grin

OP posts:
StormTreader · 15/11/2017 11:04

"Your turn"
"My turn was yesterday, remember?"

IhaveapenIhavepineapple · 15/11/2017 11:06

I have a stockpot that holds 7 litres if you want to borrow it

Grin
Threenme · 15/11/2017 12:30

Splinterz sadly no ML as self employed. He does, however pay the mortgage as he earns 3x what I do and we share the rest. That's why I take the night shift. Mostly.

That's horrible! I do all our wakes because I'm on ml. Really shouldn't matter if he out earns you 50 times! If you both work you should share it! He's not paying you to sleep!

blackteasplease · 15/11/2017 12:33

Amount of money earned shouldn't affect whether you do night duty!

Nikephorus · 15/11/2017 12:37

But if you're self-employed then surely you can work the hours that you want (to some extent) so you can stay in bed longer and start work later? And potentially grab some sleep during the day? In which case it does make sense that DH gets more sleep because he can't do that. And you have to protect the one that earns much more because if they lose their job then you're stuffed. He gets to make up for it at the weekend so OP can sleep then.

Wishingandwaiting · 15/11/2017 12:40

My husband didn't get up as he said there was no point as I was breast feeding!

Makes sense to me. I breastfed. Why should both of us be knackered the next day.

Wishingandwaiting · 15/11/2017 12:42

Amount of money earned shouldn't affect whether you do night duty!

I don’t entirely agree. More money generally goes hand in hand with more responsibility. Not always but often.

Added to which, the consequence of that person losing the job has more of a negative impact on the family as a whole.

SisyphusHadItEasy · 15/11/2017 12:42

A saucepan? YABU.

The entire collection of white goods in your home? YANBU at all...

Oddmanout · 15/11/2017 12:45

Does he actually wake up? I sleep like the dead so very little wakes me up short of an earthquake!

If he wakes and doesn't get up then that's bad, but if he doesn't hear and you get up without pushing him awake then...

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 15/11/2017 17:15

I confess that I did all the night shifts for a year because dh was working (and I knew that our financial security was entirely tied up in him not getting fired for negligence...) and I was breast feeding so I'm not really sure what he would have been doing while he was awake... Just watching us? In the dark? That would have been creepy.

BUT the deal was that I could throw saucepans at him during the day whenever I wanted... and also that I got lie-ins and naps on weekends.

Mrsyorkie · 15/11/2017 19:33

Smother him. I'm on maternity leave so I do all the wake ups but I would love for one night at the weekend for my DH to do one feed (I breastfeed but i also express!) Or get up with the baby one day at the weekend so i can just have 1 hours solid sleep. I usually get up with the baby and DH strolls down stairs an hour later- yawning...

I asked for him to let me have an hour's sleep 2 weekends ago and put DS down for a nap... He hung about near the cot for 20 minutes- because my baby never sleeps longer than this and then woke me up! Pig.

I sometimes get annoyed through the night... if I give DS a bottle of formula I might need DH to hold him for a minute until the bottle is ready- he drags himself out of bed and moans n groans about having a bad back and how tired he is Shock

Last night when i was propping myself up with pillows I purposely "caught" his head with the pillow. (I whacked him).

Generally he's great I'm just very tired today!