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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think DH is perfectly capable of being responsible for childcare.

53 replies

JosephineBucket · 14/11/2017 15:07

Firstly can I say this is absolutely not coming from DH - he is totally on board with our plan and his position is that he is a dad and it's what he needs to do.

I've been a SAHM for the majority of the past 13 years and when I have worked it's been around DH's shifts. We've never paid for childcare so when I started looking at nurseries for when i do my teacher training next year I almost cried when i found out we'd be looking at over £1000 a month. DH suggested we try to get DD into his employers on-site nursery - the places are like gold dust as it's heavily subsidised as well as very good but if we could secure a place it would more than halve the childcare bill. It would mean that he would do all pickups and dropoffs which coincide with the start and end of his shifts and be when I'm in college or on placement.

I told DM about the nursery and her first question was how would I drop DD off then get to college 10 miles away? Er, I wouldn't! She then wanted to know if DH minded/would be able to do it because men always expect the woman to do it. I did say he was happy and perfectly capable but was inwardly shaking my head . It might be different if I was constantly bitching that he doesn't pull his weight but I don't because he does! He's booked a day's holiday so I can get school experience and she's offered herself to be back up in case he can't cope with what I do every day!

And she's not the only person who's reacted like this so I was wondering if I really am expecting too much of him or just enough?

OP posts:
Sooooooooooooooooooooo · 16/11/2017 16:43

Dh does all nursery drop offs and pick ups on his way to and from work! There are plenty of Dads at school too.

What a backwards attitude. Such a shame.

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 16/11/2017 19:05

Sadly my dh would be totally incapable of managing nursery drop off and/or pick up. Despite an Oxford degree and many years earning a six figure salary in the City he can barely get himself to work. I just don't understand why he finds it so difficult! Ah well... I guess he's good at other things! Confused

drspouse · 16/11/2017 19:22

Why... Because you let him?

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