To wonder what it's like to earn £200k per year?!

[ABCD1000]

Friend's husband earns just over £200k per year, with an annual £150k bonus for the last few years! No jealousy (much!) just wonder what life would be like?!

My DH is desperate to be made redundant by age 55! In fact he is actively working on writing himself out of his job within 12-18 months. He would get a great redundancy package which would see us through until he was 60 and could start drawing down his pension. More fool those high earners in their 50's who have not saved diligently.

Not quite the in the same league but about 15 years ago we had joint income of just over £100k and now earn less than £30k with 2 DC added to the mix! Aside from more frequent (&flashier) holidays & eating out the only real difference is we now have to think about how we spend our money whether it's budget for the weekly shop or birthdays and Christmas. In the past we just bought things because we wanted to. £10k a month does sound very appealing

I earn less than a quarter of that, but I feel pretty rich. We have reasonable mortgage payments and in two years we'll be mortgage free.

I buy myself whatever I like. I can enjoy gift shops, restaurants etc with DS knowing that treating him isn't a problem. I can bung my skint sister some cash.

I'm not a high earner in the MN sense but in my daily life I feel extremely lucky. It's brilliant.

It looks like I have lots of time if you only look at my MN posts but I'm often on MN at either end of the day, during my commute or during conference calls I had to be on for political purposes. I'm posting far less since I changed jobs and don't have to deal with political crap.

Marika, you seem to be saying that a house with 5 good sized bedrooms is nothing out of the ordinary. That is a large house anywhere, let alone central London. You are talking nonsense and have no appreciation for what you have.

whilst its a comforting narrative to say that wealthy people have really stressful, miserable, workaholic lives and no work-life balance, it's not really true

It's true of some of them. I know them!

Sure, having money has a few challenges of its own (like the tension between generosity and looking flashy) but they pale into insignificance compared to the specific issues of poverty

I agree about how it compares to issues of poverty, but not what the stressors are in some high earning careers. The stress of other people's jobs being on the line is the biggest stressor in my DH's job. Because his career has required multiple moves, the stress of being very far away when someone we love is battling cancer is sadly something we've experience 3 times. For me, getting a needed break from our child with autism when I didn't have a support network was something that money couldn't fix.

You assume that lots of money could be earned without other changes or sacrifices, and I think that is seldom true.

Our family income is not far off that and it is amazing. I can't believe other pp are suggesting it isn't.

As others have said, it's about freedom and choice. The choice to live in a big house and pay a big mortgage, the choice to run a big expensive car, the choice to employ a cleaner and gardener instead of spending our weekend doing chores, the choice to send the kids to private school. Yes all these things eat up money but they are CHOICES you can stop them at any time.

And as for saying 'well I still shop at Lidl/run an old car/use state schools'. Yes, but on this level of salary you do have a choice about those things. I shop at Lidl because I like the stuff they sell, not because I'm watching every penny and desperately trying to work out how to feed my kids.

The lack of empathy and understanding of how others have to live is flabbergasting.

Quite, NancySpero.

All this "we're not well off because we spend so much money on property, pensions and private schools" is utterly grim.

Not being well off is being cold because you can't afford the heating on in a property you will never own and trying not to think about how you will pay rent when you are scraping by on a state pension.

Thank god there are some posters who appreciate what they have and are honest about how nice it is to have a high income.

My DH earns just over £200k per year & his bonus was £350k on top last year. As in cash, not share options, although obviously tax was paid.

I am a SAHM of 4 dd. DH works very long hours in a stressful job and I am always the lone parent at parents evening/plays/etc etc. But I'd never be crass enough to complain, it's a choice. DH is a wonderful father when he is actually around. He travels and worked abroad for some years. I am incredibly grateful for our lifestyle, we have a large mortgage free house, cash squirrelled away and the freedom to not worry about day-to-day living costs. We have no debt, cars on hp, nor credit cards. You choose how you live - you don't have to drive a super flash car & be mortgaged up to the hilt! You can make sensible choices & still enjoy the money! I'm incredibly conscious of not looking/sounding like an a-hole, other than the house, I don't think anyone who knew us would realise the position we're in financially - they'd probably know we were doing ok, by the house, but not the extent of it.

DH & I both grew up at the bottom end of the wealth scale! It's certainly kept our feet on the ground, while allowing us to enjoy the security. I'd never compare the stress of DHs job to the stress of living & keeping a family on NMW.. would just be insulting.. sorry for long post!

whatsthecoming - I accept what you're saying. As I said, I'm not British and where I grew up it was basically subsistence-farming. Anyway, that was in the 70s /80s and irrelevant. The point I was trying to make is that if you earn over £250 k, you might reasonably expect to be able to buy a 5-bed house. In some parts of London, that is still a potential struggle, even on that income. The same house would be a fraction of the price elsewhere.
Yes you have the choice to move or do all sorts of things, but not everyone does and in those cases, this is where the money goes.

Hard work is one thing, hard work and potentially being accountable for personal, professional errors is something else though - something one can be sued for

If I make a mistake at work I can get done for manslaughter. I earn around 35k. I also get up as early as 0200 for work, while we're playing this game.

I think good on some of the people earning 200k; some of the posts on this thread make me think 'God you're a twat'. But equally, not all people on NMW are non-twats either.

To be honest I can see there are some expenses associated with higher paid jobs; some more or less essential, and some choice. Apart from people who are really really scraping by (and kudos to them) we all make lifestyle choices that dictate our spending - be that Netflix, iphones, organic food, whatever. We need people to spend money to keep the economy ticking over.

I can also see the stresses associated with the kind of jobs that often come with 200k salaries. Those who've pointed out that the absolute stress of heat vs eat are worse are undeniably right, no question. But that doesn't mean that it's not stressful doing some of these jobs. I think it's unfair to say the 200k jobs are more stressful (hence my comment above), and some of the comments on this thread are downright patronising, but I keep coming back to the fact that I wouldn't trade places with most of the people I know earning 200k, that has to say something?

It's funny what some people have posted about having grown up poor and how that's motivated them. I grew up an expat brat, with a dad not even earning anything like the highest packages available, but great money nonetheless. We didn't see much of him and he was permanently exhausted and thinking about work. This isn't a doom and gloom or nasty comment - he's happily retired, my parents have had a long and happy relationship and my brother and I have a good relationship with them - but it certainly put me off wanting that kind of lifestyle myself. Mind you, with the way things are going with smartphones and pressure to be 'on' for work 24/7 part of me thinks if you're going to have that at lower pay grades you might as well be earning more money and still being on 24/7.

My post was rather rambling (I was up early this morning ), sorry. But basically I think fair play to some of you high earners, and good for you.

What does it feel like?

It's a 2-bed flat in the centre of a capital city. With the choice to buy a 5 bed house if you're willing to swop 30 minutes commute for 95 minutes (and therefore sacrifice time with DC).

It's having a nanny looking after your DC whilst you're at work, with the choice of nursery or SAHM (with drop in income) if you want to change.

It's a 3 week holiday in a self-catering house in the south of France. With the choice of a more luxury holiday if you want to sacrifice your savings.

It's being able to buy clothes and shoes in the sale for the DC to grow into next year. Or to suddenly realise one of them needs something and nip out and buy it immediately.

It's having lots of savings that are ear-marked for the next flat (when you want 3 bedrooms for example) but that if a washing machine breaks you can dip into no problem.

It's being able to buy food without looking at the prices. This has only happened for us in the last year and we still eat lots of own brand stuff. We like to save money.

It's working hard with lots of responsability. You can choose to step off the treadmill but it's easier said than done - sometimes you're overqualified.

It's being responsible for large teams. It's promoting people. It's having to fire people / let people go - DH is doing this at the moment and hates every second of it.

We're happy. We're surrounded by families with a lot more money than us. Partly from jobs but also they come from affluent families. We both come from poor families so really appreciate what we have.

My husband earned this
I once had a thread entitled something like "if your husband earns £350k a year, do you think he'd let you have a cleaner" I couldn't.

He spent it easily, and more.
He spent £2k a month on taxis.
We had a couple of nice holidays
I sold dc's old clothes on eBay for my pocket money
The rest went up his nose and on prostitutes.
Careful what you wish for ladies!

I've seen a lot of people fall into a high earning life and not even get a chance to enjoy it. It is indeed a choice, but a lot of people follow the money without thinking of the eventual personal cost. And it can be hard to step off that carousel once you are on it. Broken marriages, tensions with children, and a life spent in an office - this can be the price of a financially rewarding, stressful career. Not always, but sometimes.

Doesn't compare with the hardships of poverty, obviously. Having grown up with parents living from pay cheque to pay cheque, the relentless grind of that is truly awful. Most of the happiest people I know are middle income earners, comfortable enough but able to spend a decent amount of time with friends and family. The material stuff doesn't make up for that sort of security and environment.

People on that sort of money should be using the opportunity wisely which is not hoarding it.
Generally rich people spend, invest and give away money.
They spend on giving family, themselves and possibly friends a better life.
They invest and take some risk to make more money, they don't just shove it in a bank and think that's us sorted for food forever. That's not how a rich person thinks.
They look to help the next two generations minimum.
They give it away- houses/deposits, trust funds, help with education, starting a business for DC and gdc and to other people/charities/sponsorships etc.
Having spare money can help a lot of people around you.

I think it must be nice not to have to think about money just here and there, but I wouldn't want the trade off of the stress or intrusion into family life that almost always comes with a high earning job.

We're comfortable, I'm a SAHM so don't earn at the moment and my OH earns around £50-£60k so no where near the sum mentioned but much more than many others. We own our reasonably large 4 bed house in a nice place but have the mortgage and bills to pay and still have enough to have a set amount to spend as we wish each month and also save a bit. We shop at Aldi and Morrisons and don't spend willy nilly. Having no debt (other than the mortgage) helps a lot. Big purchases are carefully considered and saved for.

We've really noticed that in the 12 years my OH has been at his company (he started as a graduate on about £18k) the increased stress levels, additional hours, unpaid overtime etc. Now obviously as you get promoted and earn more you're going to have more responsibility however for us there is a limit as to how much we want work to take over while our children are so small. OH (entirely his choice) passed over a not applied for but offered promotion earlier this year that would have put him on around £75k pa. it would have meant an awful lot of travel - including abroad - and he just knew if he took it it'd not only mean being away from home a lot but would mean the company mobile being on 24/7, him always being accessible, being called in at a moment notice. Currently, though he does have a lot of responsibly and is reasonably well paid, we have our evenings and weekends to ourselves. We just didn't want to give that up at this stage in our lives.

If we could earn £200k and still have important family time then I'd love it. As it is it's mostly not like that in the real world - so I wouldn't take the trade off.

DH’s income is over half of 200k. We don’t feel rich but certainly feel very fortunate. We have choices on how to spend the money. I ended up taking time out to retrain into a career I enjoy much more, don’t have to worry about groceries, utilities, DCs clothes, can treat ourselves from time to time, and holiday several times a year. It also helps our families are both comfortable. We save lots of money even though we holiday abroad several times a year as we stay at families’ and friends’ places. I think it’s not just about the level of income but also about the social resources.

We are no way near the likes of people who earn millions, truly in the middle and very happy. DH’s job is exciting and not long hours, so he gets to see the children a lot too. We have a nice balance.

I do think it’s so easy to be in London and get in a mindset that certain things are necessities rather than nice-to-haves. 200k or 350k can quickly feel like very little money.

Money certainly doesn't equate to happiness. I know someone whose high earning husband is having an affair. She doesn't know anything - though he was married when they met so what do they say about creating a vacancy for a mistress! I didn't grow up in a wealthy family at all though DH did. I'm so grateful and try my best to pay it forward as much as possible.

I think people on here confuse the term hard work. Across the board people work hard but there is a difference between risk and responsibility.

These types of thread are always interesting as they bring out the people complaining that there is never enough money, and the socialists saying that no one should be rich, we should all be equally poor.

At the end of the day. People made a choice and have to live with that choice.

Personally for me I am working towards a situation whereby I don’t need money to live, hopefully in the next few years we can remove ourselves completely from society and live without money

Badly paid jobs are also often very stressful

I assume not clearing the shop floor on time is far less a weight on your shoulders than the doom and gloom of losing a multi million pound deal etc.

And to all those saying “oh you’d hardly feel different, these people still feel pinched. They spend things different” - Yes, but they don’t have to do that and could live an extremely comfortable and cosy financial position with that sort of cash. Fancier taste or not.

Seriously, who could possibly feel any sort of pinch on £8k+ a month. Go away

The reason for us needing a 4th bedroom is because we need space for an office as we work from home a lot.

The stress of running a business is very different to the stress of being poor. I was doing payroll from my hospital bed after having DS because the accounting manager called out sick and the CFO had a family emergency. DH was focused on looking after the operations of the business (sales and production) and it fell to me (an accountant by trade) to get payroll numbers checked, approved and off to the payroll company. Others are horrified that I did payroll from a hospital bed. I see it that we have a responsibility to make sure employees are paid in full and on time. DH and I were not willing to let people be paid a day late even though the circumstances certainly were there for that to happen. The employees work hard and deserve to be paid on time. The fact I had just had a baby wasn't their problem. DH could have done it but he would have probably screwed it up and I'm just not willing to let anyone working for us have their pay messed about with.

The stress of running a business is very different to the stress of being poor.

Yes. I would say the stress of being poor is worse, having been poor and now running our own business.

I'd agree bish - also having done both.