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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be a bit creeped out?

58 replies

Willowgate5 · 12/11/2017 16:33

Took DD to park. There was another woman and her 2 kids, and 2 men who seemed to be around 40s. Naturally assumed the men were with the woman.

Then the woman left but the men stayed. They were just hanging around in the park. It's a tiny park, with walkways and a bit of green around it with benches, so it seemed a bit odd for them to be in the actual park without any kids.

I chastised myself and asked would I be thinking the same if they were women? Perhaps I was being stupid.

One man left, other stayed. I kept seeing him watching me. I can be a people-watcher at times though so I shrugged it off again.

As I left, he said goodbye to me and said me and my child were 'very good'. I figured he meant well-behaved (my child) or something like that - It was clear English wasn't his first language so I couldn't understand exactly what he was trying to say.

Me and DD walked down the pathway to a grassy hill where she was running up and down it. I look back at the park and find him stating at us. He then vacates the park and comes and stands with us, watching what we're doing.

Now I feel a bit creeped out... I wonder if perhaps he is just lonely and want a someone to talk to? Maybe he has a younger age intellectually and doesn't realise he's making me feel awkward?

Anyway, he starts asking me if she's my only child, where I'm from. He says he's from Bulgaria and I say I've been on holiday there before... I was just trying to be nice. He says he has no kids but will soon.

He then says bye to me again and walks on down the path, and I think I've gotten rid of him. But then I turn around and he's standing at the exit of the pathway where he knows I will be going... just staring at us again.

I take my sweet time putting DD in the pushchair and wrapping her up, hoping that if I take long enough then he'll go away. No such luck. Still there, still watching.

I realise that he thinks I'm going right as he is standing to the turn right at the exit (I vaguely mentioned I lived over that way and pointed right during our brief convo). He was waiting for me so that he could walk with me or something? I don't know.

I went left. He shouted goodbye again but then went on his way.

Now I'm wondering if I'm overthinking this and shouldn't have gotten the weird vibe that I did? It seemed he wasn't aware he was behaving strangely so maybe just socially awkward?

Aibu?

OP posts:
Willowgate5 · 12/11/2017 18:58

Allgood

That's so scary! I did keep checking behind me to see if I was being followed, because it did seem like he wanted to walk with me before I went the opposite way. I wouldn't recognise him if I saw him again though, I don't make eye-contact/look in the face much so forget faces easily.

OP posts:
CherryChasingDotMuncher · 12/11/2017 18:59

Even if he did ‘just fancy you’, men are not compelled to chat up every woman they are attracted to, it’s a playground not a fucking disco, it’s inappropriate when you’re there with your DD

BewareOfDragons · 12/11/2017 18:59

Only humans ignore their instincts and force themselves to be 'nice' when they want to do otherwise ... why?

You did the right thing, OP. You were uncomfortable and creeped out, so you went home a different way. I think that was the wise thing to do so he doesn't know where you live.

Sayyouwill · 12/11/2017 19:03

@ReanimatedSGB unlikely because of cuts, but they could have a bit of a presence around the park and observe the goings on. If the man was a potential threat their presence would deter him and/or witness his behaviour and maybe have a chat about it.
Could potentially help prevent a crime.

Mamabear4180 · 12/11/2017 19:07

Only humans ignore their instincts and force themselves to be 'nice' when they want to do otherwise ... why?

So true. Probably social conditioning. Like a comment earlier about we shouldn't mind random men hanging about in playgrounds because they have as much right to be there as kids. It's weird whatever the rules of the park are and everybody feels it whether they say it or not.

Willowgate5 · 12/11/2017 20:01

Concise

Sorry, I've just read back and seen your post about the man and your son & his friends. That's definitely disturbing. It can be so hard to judge intentions... I guess my main takeaway from this thread is to trust my instincts more!

I can't remember the names of those who mentioned the social customs but... I have heard about how British people can sometimes be viewed by other countries as hostile or cold. Someone once told me (forget the country they were from) that it's quite common to sit next to people you don't know on near-empty transport and make polite convo. The horror! Grin

Thanks everyone. I'll try and be a bit more confident in myself next time.

OP posts:
Allgoodfun · 13/11/2017 09:56

queen I rang the police again when saw the news but they still weren't interested. They did catch him within a couple of days. The rape had been of a lone woman in a quiet place in daylight, about a mile from where I had been so it was very scary. I still avoid quiet places on my own 20 years on, and can still see his face on that police picture.

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