Two minutes silence and refusing to serve customer

[BalugaBelle]

At work today I was on the checkout (large retail store) and the silence was announced over a tannoy.

A woman (on the phone) came up to the checkout during the silence, so I shushed her. Motioned to poppies next to till!

She then said, "I'm going to miss my train, please continue serving me!"

I refused, shook my head and sat silently for the two minutes.

At the end I put her items through, she moaned at me and called me rude and petty and then went on her merry way.

So was I being unreasonable to respect the two minutes silence, even if it meant a customer was unhappy at me doing so?

I know good customer service is needed but surely the two minutes silence takes priority? She clearly had no respect!

Quite frankly I didn't give a damn about her train, I was paying my respects as was everyone else in the shop. It was literally almost silent apart from young children (understandable) and general noise, i.e., heating making noises!

Wiggypudding.
You're really not worth my energy dear

Nomoretears the op's scenario has been done. Store needs to do more/be more clear but all you will do with your posting like that is alienating people. Do what you want and leave other alone to do the same. Neither observers or non-observers should be berating anybody into doing what they want. Your views and wishes don't trump anybody else's.

I observe, I did today, I didn't yesterday, I did last week and the month before that when I drove past a cenotaph. Silent contemplated, reflection and thanks... nothing to do with anybody else.

If the non-observers are silent then they're not distracting or disrupting anybody else. Leave them be.

Aren’t all employees within their rights to refuse to serve people providing they have a legitimate reason?
This clearly was a legitimate reason.
I’d have maintained my stance and at the end of the 2 minuets I would have made it clear that I found her attitude disrespectful, rude, entitled and offensive.
Just because you’re behind the counter does not mean you lose your voice. Staff in shops need to back themselves more rather than just taking whatever arseholes throw at them. Customers assume you’re like the palace guards and cannot react to them if they insult you or act inappropriately. You can. YWNBU

@spiney - Yes, she shushed her. That was rude, regardless of the context. The OP was imposing her view of acceptable behaviour on the shopper.

The shopper equally didn't "bitch slap" or wrestle the op to the ground. She rudely interrupted the OP's observance. Both OP and shopper were rude. Both tried to impose their viewpoint on the other.

The more observance of a tradition is enforced, the more important it becomes to mock it, ignore it and even disrupt it. There are way too many times when 'it's tradition' is used to either justify or glorify racist, sexist, imperialist bullshit.
Yes, there are valid reasons for supporting the poppy appeal and observing a silence (either on Remembrance Sunday or November 11th whichever day of the week it is.) There are equally valid reasons for wanting to distance yourself from the whole thing.

There are no valid reasons for pestering other people to participate in your ritual, in a public place, when it is either meaningless or distasteful to them.

Please, do you really think the OP shushing the phone lady comes near to phone lady trotting in laughing and talking on her phone during the Remberence Day Silence. Then ignoring everything around her demanding to be served and then berating her.

Really?!!!

So you would watch this scenario and think “ well she did shush her......”

I despair. I don’t think it matters what your position on Remberence Day is. It’s out of respect to other people and the possibility it means a great deal to them. There were probably many others standing around who had to witness this selfishness.

There are no valid reasons for pestering other people to participate in your ritual, in a public place, when it is either meaningless or distasteful to them.

Have you got to the big reveal yet? The security at OP’s local refuse to let customers leave the store during the silence.

YWNBU. I think a lot of people saying you were probably ideologically object.

I had a boss in the NHS who was very, very lefty and moaned about the two minutes silence being observed despite moving heaven and earth to accommodate Muslim prayer times times daily for some staff. Apparently it was also uninclusive and could be offensive to some patients and staff.

That all stopped when two very elderly Muslim patients made their anger it was not properly observed extremely clear and pointed out they were WWII veterans who very much wanted to honour their fallen comrades. Always observed as far as humanly possible after that.

Late to the party, but I'll give you my opinion.

I grew up in a very Irish Republican family where the poppy was anathema. You didn't do anything that 'glorified' the British army (for right or wrong...just saying how it was). We didn't observe Remembrance Day, not out of disrespect to those who died, but out of an allegiance to those who fought the British Army and were never paid their respects or acknowledged in death.

I would still have respected the silence in a shop in Britain. I wouldn't have taken offence to you not serving me or shushing me.

Reanimated whilst I would hardly call ‘shushing’ pestering there are equally no valid reasons for showing such disrespect to other people’s traditions.

@spiney - I didn't refer to degrees of rudeness. I merely stated that both were rude.

The shopper may not have noticed the silence if she was on her phone. I do think she was rude once she realised. However, someone shushing another adult who they do not know is rude. Being rudely told to shush presumably irritated the shopper, resulting in further rudeness from the shopper.

It was not the place of the op to correct the behaviour of the shopper and doing so resulted in an escalating spiral of rudeness.

They made me But the OP shushed for a reason! The Remembrance** Day Silence!

Stop ignoring the context of this . She didn’t just randomly shush her. But I agree it probably annoyed phone lady who then started getting more and more arse.

But nevertheless I get the shush. Many, many, many would have done the same.

@spiney - regardless of the reason, it was rude. It was not the OP's place to police others' behaviour.

No true they made me

She shushed her!

Yabu
You could have served her in silence
Her train journey may have been urgent. I’m sure she wouldn’t have rushed you without good reason

If you can’t handle being shushed don’t go laughing and talking through the 2 min silence.

We both know phone lady was being really unaware at best ignorant and selfish at worst.

tock
It's not just the silence - to observe you need to stay still and stop work. So she couldn't serve her.

@spiney - I have repeatedly said I believe the shopper was rude so I'm not sure why you keep implying otherwise.

I have no idea what you mean when you say:

No true they made me
She shushed her!

Yes, she shushed her. Are you denying it was rude? If so, you obviously have different ideas of social norms than I have.

I presume you have heard the expression "two wrongs don't make a right"? By shushing her, the OP was rude. By chatting during the silence, the shopper was either unaware or rude. By asking "Please continue serving me", although asking politely, the shopper was rude as the OP had made it clear she wished to observe the silence.

The OP comes across as sanctimonious and judgmental when she states she would have served the woman if she hadn't been chatting on her phone and had asked in a way the OP found suitable. I expect that attitude came across to the shopper, resulting in more rudeness.

It’s a good job the millions who have their lives so she could routinely go about her business weren’t in too much of a rush to lay down their lives. The silence is their to contemplate the sacrifice others have made. You did the right thing refusing to serve her. It was announced its not exactly unexpected. I would have served her extremely slowly, she is rude,ignorant and selfish. Good in you OP

Well said!!!

Yep you cant yak on your mobile if you died for your Country and 2 minutes thank you is never enough

I was in M&S today, an announcement was made numerous times in advance about the 2 mins silence. One couple ignored it & I ‘shushed’ them.
If you wish not to observe, that is your right, but I would think the appropriate thing to do is stand outside the store which is observing it.
I doubt many purchases are so urgent that you ‘must’ be served.
OP - I think you did absolutely the right thing

We didn't observe Remembrance Day, not out of disrespect to those who died, but out of an allegiance to those who fought the British Army and were never paid their respects or acknowledged in death.

I remember all those who died in war. I was a soldier also. But I acknowledge all who died, fighting for or against the causes I fought for. It is the futility of conflict I remember most.

The shop did indeed close doors of my local shop. The doors were physically shut, a staff member was telling people that it was a two minutes silence and could people please wait outside/in. There were people standing outside the closed doors who were just about to come in and people standing with their shopping waiting to leave. No one made any fuss about it, the tannoy announced the silence was over and then everyone got on with it. It was actually nice to see people so respectful. The security guard was near the door- not physically stopping shoppers but doors were most definitely shut! Fact is no one tried to leave anyway and it was great how people just stopped.

I'm sure someone could have left, not like we were being kept prisoner but the fact that doors were shut gave off the 'no one please enter or exit for just two minutes!' vibe.

They made me

I think what I am getting at is that the OP s officiousness at shushing the phone lady is very minor in comparison to the repeated ignorance of the phone lady herself.

Yes she shushed. But the phone lady deserved it big time.

So when you say ‘neither covered themselves in glory’ I really struggle to equate the shushing with the respected disregard for other people that the phone lady shows.

I wasn't rude with the customer just firm. Telling someone to shshsh may be rude, and I know it doesn't make it right, but it was the quickest way to get her to be quiet at the time and it wasn't my initial reaction.

I don't know then, maybe I need to work on my fake smile for when customers are rude?