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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Two minutes silence and refusing to serve customer

805 replies

BalugaBelle · 11/11/2017 23:06

At work today I was on the checkout (large retail store) and the silence was announced over a tannoy.

A woman (on the phone) came up to the checkout during the silence, so I shushed her. Motioned to poppies next to till!

She then said, "I'm going to miss my train, please continue serving me!"

I refused, shook my head and sat silently for the two minutes.

At the end I put her items through, she moaned at me and called me rude and petty and then went on her merry way.

So was I being unreasonable to respect the two minutes silence, even if it meant a customer was unhappy at me doing so?

I know good customer service is needed but surely the two minutes silence takes priority? She clearly had no respect!

Quite frankly I didn't give a damn about her train, I was paying my respects as was everyone else in the shop. It was literally almost silent apart from young children (understandable) and general noise, i.e., heating making noises!

OP posts:
ButchyRestingFace · 12/11/2017 13:23

But since you don't give a damn about the customer's train and are so sure that you are in.the.right; why are you asking if you are being unreasonable when you clearly don't think so?

She wanted a Mexican wave.

RestingBitchFaced · 12/11/2017 13:26

YANBU - I also work in retail and at 11am we all stood together away from the tills so it was obvious we were not serving at that time. You did the right thing op, would you be allowed to move away from your till if in this situation again?

1DAD2KIDS · 12/11/2017 13:29

Itsgonnabeacoldone My grandad exactuly the same. Wanted to forget avout the war and what he's seen. But there are plenty of veterans who want to come together, support each other and remember their friends. After all for most the best support comes from being with other who have faced the same. Everyone is different. That's why we shouldn't judge or impede people's freedom to act as they want.

disahsterdahling · 12/11/2017 13:33

The further away we get from WW2, the more strident the poppy police seem to get.

It was never the case that people were expected to pull their cars over or stop walking down the street.

That is new and getting silly.

And as I said above, those who died in WW2 died so that we would not be dictated to.

Yet people think it's ok to dictate that everyone stops what they are doing.

I don't share the view that poppies are a political symbol.

But I am torn between remembrance for those who were conscripted to fight for their country, and those who joined the Services as a career option. They were not forced, but have obviously been asked to do rather horrible things - whether that's having to go to Northern Ireland when it was very dangerous, or having to fight in Iraq and Afghanistan so that Georgie Porgie could finish what his dad didn't finish in the first Gulf War. That is different. That was not to save our way of life. In any event I think Help for Heroes has raised plenty of money to help more recent veterans. Though I'd like to know why there isn't more help for their mental health problems, given the huge warchest raised a few years ago.

And if you work in a retail outlet near a railway station, I think you need to assume that people will be in a rush to get a train. You don't know what the purpose of that lady's journey was, and if she's in a hurry she's in a hurry and you serve her. I don't care if it's 11am on 11/11. The shop should completely close if it's not going to serve people.

Madbengalmum · 12/11/2017 13:34

Astonishing amount of people on here who think it is ok to continue serving. It is about stopping and giving two minutes thought to those who fought for us. What a disrespectful lot.

DiegoMadonna · 12/11/2017 13:38

I can show respect without being silent/stopping what I'm doing for two minutes.

And most people who are "showing their respect" are simply sitting thinking about whats' for dinner tonight or something equally banal.

JacquesHammer · 12/11/2017 13:39

It is about stopping and giving two minutes thought to those who fought for us. What a disrespectful lot.

Whereas I think it's more important to actually DO something rather than just pat myself on the back for being morally superior because i am quiet for two mins

Madbengalmum · 12/11/2017 13:42

It is nothing to do wth moral superiority, just stoppng for two minutes. You must all be such wonderful multi taskers.

JacquesHammer · 12/11/2017 13:43

You must all be such wonderful multi taskers

What? Given I can, you know, think and put stuff in a basket at the same time?

If it's nothing to do with moral superiority why all the pearl clutching at people who choose - as is there irrevocable right - to not observe a silence

DiegoMadonna · 12/11/2017 13:46

The whole thing is a bizarre study of human behaviour. Most people stop and stand in silence only because they know that they'll be castigated by others if they don't. Most people aren't thinking about or remembering people who died in a war 75 years ago while they do it. And there's really no logical reason why we have to militantly observe this forced show of "respect" at the same time and in unison anyway.

Madbengalmum · 12/11/2017 13:46

Jacques, it is also some peoples right to observe the silence. Today at the Cenotaph people stood still thinking in silence.

JacquesHammer · 12/11/2017 13:49

Jacques, it is also some peoples right to observe the silence and why would me quietly carrying on stop that?

if you really want to observe the silence do so, but surely in your quiet contemplation you wouldn't even notice me carrying on.

DiegoMadonna · 12/11/2017 13:49

Jacques, it is also some peoples right to observe the silence

Of course it is. Nobody is arguing against that.

Moussemoose · 12/11/2017 13:52

DiegoMadonna

You have no idea what most people think. Don't judge everyone by your own low standards.

Madbengalmum · 12/11/2017 13:53

Diego, not everyone worries about being castigated by others. There are a great deal of people who had family that were deeply affected by war and continue to be to this day by conflict. You miss the point of remembrance day totally, it is about all wars not just those 75 yrs ago!

DiegoMadonna · 12/11/2017 13:54

I have quite a good idea. Don't judge me by your own ignorance.

DiegoMadonna · 12/11/2017 13:55

There are a great deal of people who had family that were deeply affected by war and continue to be to this day by conflict

Yes, there are. I do myself. I think about it regularly, just not especially at one time of one day when people tell me to.

StrangeLookingParasite · 12/11/2017 13:56

an idiot superstition or a bout of virtue signalling

This is so far off my own feelings it's not even on the same planet.
I observe it because it was all over my family. France, Gallipoli in the first, then my dad and uncle in the air force in the second.
No-one went because they were career military, or jingoists - that idea is actually funny if you knew my family - they were doing what they felt was their duty, however ill-qualified they were personally for it.
I just think of all those boys (and some girls) thrown into the first ever industrial scale war, not having the faintest idea what they were in fror, and the huge, unfixable hole it put in the populations of so many countries, Axis and Allies alike, in both wars.

Reading here, a lot of people seem to have a very shallow understanding of what happened, why, and who was involved.
All those sons, brothers, husbands, uncles, on both sides, killed or irreparably changed. The women who nursed and drove ambulances (and the few who fought), the same.

Moussemoose · 12/11/2017 13:59

DiegoMadonna

I have quite a good idea. Don't judge me by your own ignorance

I am quiet happy to admit I can't read minds. I don't know what people are thinking. You are the one that is sure people are thinking about "what's for dinner". I choose to think people are showing respect. You, however, know they are not.

Madbengalmum · 12/11/2017 14:00

StrangeIooking, i absolutely agree.

DiegoMadonna · 12/11/2017 14:02

StrangeLookingParasite your post is a perfect example of how emotion gets in the way of logical discussion around the entire subject. Nobody (no decent person) argues that people shouldn't think of and respect those who fought and died in war. It is the increasingly militant observance of an arbitrary two minutes in which we must all do it that people are questioning. Where people get told off simply for not wearing a poppy, or for not being silent at the right time, as if that means they don't respect what people went through.

CecilyP · 12/11/2017 14:02

Your customer was unreasonable, Op, not you. The silence has happened every year for almost 100 years. Her lack of planning is her own problem, not yours, and 2 minutes should have made no difference at all.

No it has not Taniith, it did not happen from 1939 to 1996. I do, however, think the customer was unreasonable and rude and I doubt she genuinely had a train to catch.

turquoise88 · 12/11/2017 14:03

OP herself said she might have served customer had she not been nattering on phone and whispered her request instead. So a potential willing to go against company policy was there, she just didn’t like the way the request was executed.

Can't seem to find the bit of the thread where she said this?

ShmooBooMoo · 12/11/2017 14:04

The thing is, it's not just about being silent...it's about a moment's reflection on the ultimate sacrifice of others. So, continuing to serve, even in silence, defeats the object really imho. You were right not to serve her. If two minutes was going to impact the customer's life so dramatically, perhaps she should have organised her time better... She could always have waited for another train. So many selfish people around these days.

ChelleDawg2020 · 12/11/2017 14:05

The customer was rude and selfish, but the customer is always right. If the OP did not want to serve during the two minute silence then they should have left the till for the duration.

Shop staff are there to serve the customer, not make moral judgements.