To think this is discrimination

[Hiptrip]

I work in a 365 days a year industry. My colleagues and I, have to provide cover over Christmas.

As I worked over Christmas and New Year last year, I booked and was promised this year off. I have this in writing.

Two colleagues have announced that they can't get childcare, and now management have come back to me and said I have to work. (Single, no kids was planning to have fun with friends and family. Shouldn't have mentioned it in my break at work.)

I have now received a written directive that my leave is cancelled, with the threat of disciplinary if I don't turn up.

No unions here, but what are my chances of claiming constructive dismissal if I don't go to work?

We are a team of twelve and those with families, who are rostered to work have a month to sort themselves out, as does everyone else. Why should it be me that has to come in the whole time, along with our unfortunate manager who has no choice because she is in charge?

As pp said, just be ill. Assuming your previous record is good, you'll probably get a warning or something.

Miss thank you. I know you probably didn’t mean it that way, it just reminded me of it.

I do see it, but I think because I always ensured those with kids did have time off when I didn’t have any, and that I always try to help others, I feel a bit offended on behalf of those with kids when others won’t offer them consideration?

It depends what they were doing surely? Before I had kids, we used to go out for a meal (not a roast turkey, it was often Indian food) and then come back and watch films. That could be done any day, and I’d have worked Christmas Day and done that afterwards if someone with kids needed it.

I hope that clarifies my position a bit more. I genuinely haven’t tried to offend anyone who hasn’t been able to have kids.

*I'm shocked that some people think their colleagues should prioritise someone else's family over their own.

It may come as a shock but my family are 100% more important to me than someone else's.

Family is more than children. I'm astounded that people are so bloody thick.*

This

Cats I mean this as sensitively and compassionately as possible, but I think you should step away from this thread. Having looked at your other threads, you had a miscarriage in July and have apparently had another this week, for which I am genuinely sorry. You had another thread saying that you are mentally not in a good place right now. Your two-year old son also had been diagnosed with hearing problems this week I believe. I think perhaps taking time away from here may be beneficial under these circumstances.

I’m a parent and I don’t believe this gives me rights to time off over other colleagues. My children’s happiness is not my employer’s problem.

I personally would seek Legal Advice ... on the grounds of a Discrimination of your personal circumstances..

Shatners Thats correct. It’s very difficult currently and I only went to AIBU today because I asked about my sons hearing issues. I’m probably a bit more arsey than normal due to this and comments on here did upset me.

Oh FFS, no child ever suffered because mummy or daddy spent some time at work on Christmas Day.

My parents had a business that was open several nights a week. I knew from a very young age that birthdays were celebrated on the closest non opening night of the week to the actual birthday, but if it was a work night, then that is what happened. I grew up, I didn't need years of therapy because I felt abandoned by my parents on my birthday. It's life, and children do better by learning to be flexible, rather than giving them patterns of rigid thinking.

If the OP is likely to be disciplined for refusing to come into work, how come the uncooperative parents, who are also refusing, won't? That seems unfair, even before you think about notice given, reasons etc.

Both my parents did shifts, my grandparents were dead or elderly and lived far, far away and my aunt had multiple disabilities and couldn't be left with children, so it is really really hard to get childcare on christmas. The best bet are very good friends but they can be away with their family or have their own set idea of a magical christmas which doesn't include other people!

I spent several Christmases hanging around the day room at hospital whilst my mum worked. It was ok. I had new toys and shared christmas dinner with various nurses, doctors and patients who popped in to say hi.

Can your colleagues bring children with them? Don't answer here in case it's outing, but think is it a possibility for just one day.

To privilege the private life of parents of small children over that of other workers is probably indirect age discrimination (and possibly gender discrimination too). Tell them you have made other arrangements - don't go into detail - and are therefore not available on CD.

Nobody should be asked to work CD two years running in the same job.

Purple as I said earlier, adults can get together any time. Christmas is magical for kids, and they’re only kids for a few years. Let’s not ruin that for them on the basis that “it’s my right!”

Families with kids can do that too. My family were from the continent and always celebrated on christmas eve, including opening presents, big meal etc. Christmas day itself was a total non event. My childhood Christmases were still every bit as magical as everyone elses, it never occurred to me that they were any different to anyone elses until I was a lot older. It's the way you present the idea of Christmas to kids that matters.

No not possible to take kids into work- that's in our contract. It's a health and safety issue.

Do your colleagues have partners/are married? I'd be asking why they cannot cover.

This makes me fume for you.

You might think I am selfish, but I prioritise my life and my loved ones, over anyone else. In exceptional circumstances I would prioritise someone else. So yes, child terminally ill of a colleague, of course I would work Christmas. But otherwise I put myself and family and friends before colleague's private lives.

We had to provide 365 day cover in a job I did years ago. Parents were asked to choose - a week off (or two) in the summer holidays or a week off (or two) in the Christmas holidays. If you had a holiday in the summer then you were expected to work at Xmas and if you had Xmas off then you had to work through the summer holidays. It seemed to work for most.

If the OP is likely to be disciplined for refusing to come into work, how come the uncooperative parents, who are also refusing, won't? That seems unfair, even before you think about notice given, reasons etc.

That's a very good question to ask management, imo.

Not having children does not mean you do not have a family.

I'd take that further and day it does not mean that you don't have a life.

With a few exceptions (and even then only in exceptional circumstances), it's hugely unreasonable that anyone's life can be so controlled by work that they can't make arrangements without fearing that their leave will be cancelled.

You might think I am selfish, but I prioritise my life and my loved ones, over anyone else.

But this is exactly what the OP is doing. I don't exactly blame her colleagues for trying it on and looking out for their own interests - it's for the management to ensure that rotas are drawn up fairly for everyone, and they have failed here completely.

My father used to have work either Xmas day or New Year's Eve. He always got Xmas day off as many young single men wanted New Years Eve off. Especially as New Years Eve was much much harder work than Xmas day.

Pirate Except I don't agree with trying it on like that.

I had a dad who had to work Christmas. It really didn't upset me, because I knew it was going to be the case.

On days where he was on an early shift we would save present opening til he got back and have Christmas dinner at tea time.

On days where he was on a late shift we'd have Christmas dinner at lunch time and open presents as normal.

On days where he was on a day shift we would get up extra early and open presents before he left and then usually took Christmas dinner over for him to eat in his lunch break if we were allowed to visit that year.

The organisation I work for runs several 24/7 services. Their policy with regard to Christmas leave is that staff who worked the previous Christmas are given priority when it comes to the next one.

That seems perfectly fair to me.