To think this is discrimination

[Hiptrip]

I work in a 365 days a year industry. My colleagues and I, have to provide cover over Christmas.

As I worked over Christmas and New Year last year, I booked and was promised this year off. I have this in writing.

Two colleagues have announced that they can't get childcare, and now management have come back to me and said I have to work. (Single, no kids was planning to have fun with friends and family. Shouldn't have mentioned it in my break at work.)

I have now received a written directive that my leave is cancelled, with the threat of disciplinary if I don't turn up.

No unions here, but what are my chances of claiming constructive dismissal if I don't go to work?

We are a team of twelve and those with families, who are rostered to work have a month to sort themselves out, as does everyone else. Why should it be me that has to come in the whole time, along with our unfortunate manager who has no choice because she is in charge?

That's very unfair on you op.
I agree with getting proper advice.

i'd just like to say a big thank you to all the lovely parents who've posted on this thread in support and understanding of those of us without children. We're often made to feel like we're second class citizens and generally matter less than people with children. To see so many turning out in support of the OP and showing me that so many of you don't feel that way is truelly heartening. Thank you all.

However, I will be reporting one of those colleagues who has disturbed my lunch break to argue about this - she has just sworn and me and called me a selfish cow because she has to come to work if I don't.

Good for you. That's appalling behaviour.

It's also very stupid. You'll never put yourself out to accommodate her now, will you?

Watching with interest as I fear same might happen to me. The old 'no childcare' excuse yet again.
Let's just agree to take turns, shall we?
'All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others' to quote Orwell.

A child with a single parent who has to spend the day without their parent is really a lot more sad than an adult working and being alone.

Looks like my DD missed that memo!

Every year she has to have Christmas without one parent as she is a child of divorced parents and so spends every other year with me and the other years with her dad ... she's managed to make it to 9yo without expiring of sadness.

This year my DD is with her dad for Christmas Day, which means I'm effectively "childless" for Christmas scheduling purposes ... fortunately my work employs a rotating Christmas or New Year policy. We are retail so we are closed Christmas Day but if you work Christmas then you have to work Christmas Eve and Boxing day and New Year is NYE and NYD. Last year I worked Christmas so I have this Christmas off and will be working New Year.

Obviously if someone had a scheduling emergency then I would swap with them. Being a single parent whose childcare provider fell down the stairs on 23rd of December and broke their leg is an emergency and I would gladly offer to swap shifts or just cover for someone in that situation ... not having childcare 6 weeks out is not an emergency situation and I would not be giving up my Christmas for those colleagues.

I'd be raising merry hell OP.

I worked last Christmas, we don't have kids but this year I've booked Christmas off, if a colleague who has kids moans then quite frankly it's not my problem.

Melj123 as I wrote a: Single parent family, meaning there is only one parent. I did not say divorced parents. If their parent works on Christmas Day then they will not have another parent to be with.

That's completely unfair on you OP. If you have children, finding childcare is on you - your co workers shouldn't have to pick up the slack because you feel that reproducing entitles you to have Christmas off. Work over holiday periods has to be shared equally, not just handed to those who are apparently lesser.

hiptrip

You are not being selfish at all

You are perfectly entitled to Christmas off it shouldnt make any difference if you have children or not

If people arent happy working over Christmas then they shoukd rethink their job and resign if necessary

In the shop i work they are very fair, its your usual shift time on Christmas eve or boxing day, they try and facilitate your preference but someone has just resigned because they dont want to work either day

I hope it gets sorted

There's no hierarchy of families.

I usually work Christmas. We do 12 hour shifts so a day shift means we do more at home on Christmas Eve and a night shift means I'm there for Christmas dinner. Most other shift workers here do eight hour shifts so still see their families on Christmas Day - in fact the morning shift is popular as it means being home for presents, then out for the cooking and organising, then back home for dinner.

Our children do not seem to be adversely affected. If they were, it would be our responsibility as parents to act on it.

I had this issue when i was childless and i had booked a holiday to the USA to see my parents and work tried to cancel my holiday 2.5 weeks before hand because my manager wanted to spend Xmas and boxing day with her family so i had to be there instead and the company said i would be disciplined if i did not come in AND they would NOT cover my costs about my holiday aka i would of lost £1800 on flights etc and apparently insurance doesn't cover changes to shifts.

Manager suggested i should just suck it up as £1800 wasn't a lot it the scale things (maybe not on HER salary it wasn't). Well i basically told them I AM not missing out on my holiday and being massively out of pocket simply because she changed her mind and they backed down in the end.

That's outrageous, worrid

That's awful @worridmum

I can remember maybe 3 moments from childhood Christmas days. I know my mum worked some of them too.
It's just straightforward selfishness on the part of the parents.
Favours done at work don't get returned generally if you are childless too. So you get the shitty shifts and no reward.
Call in sick.
Let one of them deal with it. They wouldn't hesitate to do it to you.

Did you have a thread about that, worrid? If it wasn't you, then there was one very similar a couple of years ago. Perhaps it wasn't about Christmas, but someone's dad in the US who was ill? Lots of excellent advice from all the HR professionals on here, and the OP got her way in the end.

yes the thread was mine but this was a previous time with another employer (when my dad wasn't ill before i had my children).

The time on my thread was recently with a different company and thanks to everyone that helped me then (that time was basically my dad was terminally ill with cancer so it was his last chirstmas and i had booked tickets for whole family and then my current company wanted to cancel my leave because my colleague was pregent and she was threatening discrimination because she wanted the whole Christmas period off because of pregenecy issues (she just wanted to stay at home and enjoy her last child free xmas)

1 of us HAD to be in the office or my department could not function and my manager thought i would cause less fuss /cave in despite knowing the reason why i needed to go to the USA and then they tried to fire me for gross misconduct because i went rather then lose the £3000 and my fathers last Christmas whom sadly passed away on the 14th of February so i was right in going).

But that situation wasn't as light hearted / not as dark as my latest Christmas issue and didn't want to mention it as it could change the entire course of this thread but it was horrendous and thankfully we settled before taking them to court and all the support from people was amazing.

*was more recently

I have dipped in and out of this forum for ages. I remember your thread Worridmum, glad you got it all sorted.

I will be going to HR first thing on Monday to lodge a complaint about my colleague swearing at me, and being the only one who is expected to pick up the slack for my loser colleagues who can't or won't sort their lives out.

Probably don't refer to them as losers when you talk to HR, op

Good luck. I hope you get a good result.

sorry wasnt trying to hijack thread.

Not at all, Worridmum, I wondered what happened to you when that thread went up.

I'm all for being kind and helping people out etc but sometimes other people will just see it as a weakness and exploit it

Unfortunately this is true; as we've seen with the sheer entitlement here, too many expect to get exactly what they want and to get it now, despite anyone else's interests

As an employer I moved heaven and earth to try to make these things work for everyone, but like the PP whose colleagues went mad on finding she wanted her turn after covering them for years, I found that "kindness" often goes unappreciated and just results in more demands

The solution? Stop the whining and just take your turn with everyone else

@worridmum that’s horrendous! Well done on not backing down

I have read too many threads on MN by childless women who have helped out their colleagues with young kids, but not had any favours returned when they really needed it.