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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Think you shouldn't describe a child as 'sexy'

70 replies

loveablether · 11/11/2017 09:40

A friend of my family is a born British male but lives/works in the Netherlands - speaking Dutch for more of his life than English - when he visits he sometimes has referred to my 3 yo Ds as ‘sexy’ - (happened twice) does anyone know if this is something that could be a innocent inappropriate mix up with languages? Do Dutch people use that term to describe children innocently? It made me feel uncomfortable and I have voiced concerns to DH who is supportive of my concerns but still a friend with the guy who visits about once or twice a year.

OP posts:
Humpsfor20yards · 11/11/2017 11:23

Reception age ds.

InsomniacAnonymous · 11/11/2017 11:25

Humpsfor20yards It's more than just being incredibly thick though, isn't it? It's a perverted twisted way of thinking and using language. Language is used to communicate, so what is she communicating by using those words and why?

outcrops · 11/11/2017 11:27

My in laws do this. And refer to ds as “frigid” when he won’t kiss them Angry

InsomniacAnonymous · 11/11/2017 11:28

OMG. It's getting worse. Don't you challenge them outcrops?

Ssdw · 11/11/2017 11:34

That is creepy. I have also seen fb captions such as 'little stud' under photos of toddlers.
When i worked in a nursery a father commented on someone else's child being a 'little blond bombshell'... she was about 18 months Confused

Mittens1969 · 11/11/2017 11:42

That is awful, outcrops, I wouldn’t want them around my DC at all. Angry

outcrops · 11/11/2017 11:51

Oh yes. They think I’m weird and uptight Hmm

Mittens1969 · 11/11/2017 11:55

You’re not, they are, you need to stick to your guns, OP. It must be hard though. Flowers

Blackcatonthesofa · 11/11/2017 12:26

I am Dutch. Sexy is a word that is also known and used in dutch. I don't know if we borrowed it from English originally but it is as much a part of our normal vocabulary as yours. It has the exact same meaning. There can be no misunderstanding or translation errors.

ducktale · 11/11/2017 13:34

Bloody hell, came on to say YANBU OBVIOUSLY then read through to find a lot of you know some absolute wronguns.

loveablether · 11/11/2017 17:48

Thanks for all your replies, especially the replies from people that are saying what I asked about the Dutch context - there are other things that I feel are inappropriate that I know are so no need to share to be told so.

This is so I have ammunition in a ‘calm discussion’ Angry with my DH when I put my foot down about his friendship with this male - my DH likes to think the best about people and doesn’t see it as I do. I just want to protect my babies as we all do.

Thanks again

OP posts:
WanderingTrolley1 · 11/11/2017 17:54

I cringed when I heard a mother call her newborn “sexy”.

I just don’t get it.

Splinterz · 11/11/2017 17:59

Words do evolve. I've lost count of the amount of 1980/90's meeting I sat in where some twat would announce such gems as "lets take a sexy walk across the rubicon" (metaphorically of course) and "this plan is so sexy it's a winner" - neither example of course has anything to so with 'sex', it and interchangeable word with attractive, today the dictionary has updated to include appealing or exciting.

:very exciting or appealing:
"business magazines might not seem like the sexiest career choice"
synonyms: exciting · stimulating · interesting · appealing · intriguing · fashionable · trendy
antonyms: dull · boring

ocelot41 · 11/11/2017 18:00

Ugh. Just UGH.

Katanna · 11/11/2017 18:02

Yanbu, years ago I knew someone who used to call her dd sexy, it used to make me cringe, it's totally inappropriate.

Crumbs1 · 11/11/2017 18:04

Ghastly. I’ve heard people do it but it’s very distasteful.
I also know a number of people who referred to ‘girlfriends and boyfriends’ and suggested young children were ‘going out’. So, so common and unnecessary.

HerOtherHalf · 11/11/2017 19:17

Splinterz, whilst you've got your dictionary handy, look up "context".

Coconutspongexo · 11/11/2017 19:21

I hate this in any context but that’s very creepy.

A woman I know calls her 2 year old fit and sexy on Facebook and it drives me insane.

Lillygolightly · 11/11/2017 20:32

Someone I know of calls his Grandaughter sexy legs I'm positive there is nothing in it but it's a very odd term of endearment to use regarding a child if you ask me.

Beeziekn33ze · 11/11/2017 22:14

Splinterz - is that when we started hearing about dossiers being ‘sexed up’ too?
I didn’t even like Blue Peter, way back, referring to one of their stickyback plastic and loo roll creations as being ‘tarted up’ rather than ‘decorated’! And so the rot sets in. I wrote to BP and had a bland non-apologetic response.

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