Think you shouldn't describe a child as 'sexy'

[loveablether]

A friend of my family is a born British male but lives/works in the Netherlands - speaking Dutch for more of his life than English - when he visits he sometimes has referred to my 3 yo Ds as ‘sexy’ - (happened twice) does anyone know if this is something that could be a innocent inappropriate mix up with languages? Do Dutch people use that term to describe children innocently? It made me feel uncomfortable and I have voiced concerns to DH who is supportive of my concerns but still a friend with the guy who visits about once or twice a year.

It’s definitely not appropriate. But may be - hopefully - innocent. I have a friend who’s MIL calls her baby DS a “sexy boy”. She hates it.

Thank you for all your replies. I have made it clear to my DH that this man concerns me and i don’t want him left alone at any time with my DS. I always trust my gut feeling and this man is 50 shades of creep.

I always trust my gut feeling and this man is 50 shades of creep.

That changes things considerably.

My uncle’s (English) wife called my son “sexy” when he was a baby, maybe 7 months old. I found it pretty creepy tbh. I don’t think she really thought he was sexy of course but it’s an inappropriate word to use IMO

This is definitely not a Dutch thing. Its a creepy thing. My husband is Dutch and we spend a lot of time there. I have never heard any Dutch person call a child sexy.

That’s good to know Mac - thank you

I really can't fathom what goes on in the minds of people who call babies and children 'sexy'. If I heard anyone saying it I would ask them why. It's excessively weird and nauseating.

There's a word 'geil' in German that can mean something like awesome, cool and can mean sexy. Maybe there's something like that in Dutch too?

zebedebe "I have a friend who’s MIL calls her baby DS a “sexy boy”. She hates it."

I'm not surprised she hates it! Has she told her MIL to stop saying such a revolting thing? If not, why not? I wouldn't put up with that for a second. It's so sick.

I notice that Filipinos use this word a lot, but they use it instead of cute or pretty. When I told my nanny the UK context she was horrified.

I had a Thai friend who would praise her daughter (and mine) with this word. Interesting to read Cantseethewoods comment about Filipinas.

This is so cut and dried in my book i struggle to see the need for a thread about it. If anyone, regardless of culture/language referred to a child as sexy in my presence they wouldn't do it a second time.

Another one here who doesn't think putting attractive offers alongside a picture of a child is wrong.

Just seen the update. If he is creepy and it’s not just him using the wrong word then don’t allow him into your house ever again.

Even if it was their own child and in their own country Half? I don't like it either but I don't think the world are waiting for the British to tell them how to speak any more.

My DM calls my 15mo daughter 'sexy legs' or 'sexy shoes' or whatever it is she notices.

It makes me sick, I tell her all the time there is nothing sexy about a baby so don't bloody call her it.

I concur with Mac - I live in NL, am married to a Dutchie, have 2 Dutch kids. No-one would dream of calling them sexy here. Sexy means the same thing here as it does in the UK. This guy is being downright weird.

I find it wrong. One of my granddaughters is called Alexis. Her father calls her “sexy Lexi” and it really winds me up no end, she is only 6, nobody should refer to a child as sexy, no matter how innocent it is.

It's weird. Have you asked him not to say it? I'd be interested to see how he reacted.

catkind there is a "geil" but my husband told me it means horny. Definitely not cool or awesome! Though maybe n0ne can correct me?

It's very similar to the word for yellow. I'm forever confused which one is which and terrified I'll get it horribly wrong.

Pricilla i have a friend with a dd called Lexi, she constantly refers to her dd as "sexy Lexi" makes me want to vomit!

I don't get how some people don't understand what 'sexy' means. It's 'sex' with a 'y' on the end FFS!

missyB1 do you say anything to your friend about it? I bloody would!

Even if it was their own child and in their own country Half?

Well it feels like you're stretching the goalposts way beyond the context set by the OP just to try and argue a point. To answer you though, yes. If they're using the word "sexy" they're speaking English, using the word highly inappropriately and I would pull them up for it. Note that i said they wouldn't do it a second time but did not elaborate on how I would achieve that outcome. That allows for the option of civilised explanation and education, if by chance they were unclear on the meaning of the word. If needs be though, I'd have no reservations about verbally tearing them a new arsehole if it came down to it.

A lot of British people do it.

It makes them look incredibly thick.

One mum here used to meet her ds from school with 'hi sexy, hi stud...'