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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel annoyed that male colleague is paid £5k more than me?

137 replies

Octonautstotherescue · 11/11/2017 00:57

We do the same job although I’m more qualified. I found out his pay details by accident yesterday. Couldn’t believe it and feel like a mug now. This isn’t right or legal is it?

OP posts:
1DAD2KIDS · 11/11/2017 07:07

Negotiating and setting terms of your contract are key in certain jobs (where the wage is not set). Your labour is yours and yours to set the price. If you are of more value in all factors demand a higher price or walk.

Splinterz · 11/11/2017 07:08

I can't believe how quick people are to defend why a man should get paid more!

Because I don't get my vagina out at every opportunity to demand money? I do prefer to be paid according to my worth and input - which has always served me well in the work place, getting equal and often superior bonuses to my male colleagues.

ThePhoenixBird · 11/11/2017 07:24

I have had this happen many times. I keep finding out unintentionally, I don’t go looking for it but each time I have found out, I have spoken to my manager and said I want a pay rise and it’s always been done. Out of the four times it has happened, three have been men.

All these times, despite me having the most experience and qualifications - they offer “new joiners” a better salary. According to HR it’s to “secure” the best talent - but I don’t think that is fair. Basically once your in, you get a rubbish pay rise each year and the only way to get to a good salary is to keep moving positions within the company - which is a freely admitted truth.

You need to speak with your manager and say you know he is on a higher salary, ask why and say you want your salary increased to match if you believe your experience and qualifications exceed his.

VeryPunny · 11/11/2017 07:30

Shall we just ignore the fact that women in pay negotiations are less likely to get what they want, and are seen as bolshy, bossy and getting ideas above their station?

OP I would talk to HR after talking to ACAS, and would also be looking for another job. That’s generally been the best way to sort out pay inequalities IMO.

venellopevonschweetz · 11/11/2017 07:35

Did you both start at the same time?
Do you both have the same prior experience?

If both of these answers are yes then no, YANBU but if either/both of these are no (he’s been there longer and so had the benefit of annual pay progression for example) then yes, YABU.

RockinRobinTweets · 11/11/2017 07:37

It is only unfair if all the women in the same role are underpaid in comparison to the men.

If it’s private sector, pay is mostly not on a scale and privacy is encouraged. On my team there’s a huge variety in pay that doesn’t line up with experience but with what the employer feels it can get away with! Gender isn’t an issue though

Private sector is unfair.

19lottie82 · 11/11/2017 07:44

In the UK Employers cannot pay a man more than a woman for doing the same
job under the Equality Act 2010.

Of course they can, don’t be so daft.

What however employers CANNOT do is pay a man (or woman) most, JUST based on their gender, that would be discrimination.

There are, however common reasons why someone can be paid more for doing the same job than someone else of a different gender, commonly wage negotiation before agreeing to take the job, or working their way up the pay scale.

19lottie82 · 11/11/2017 07:47

I can’t believe a lot of these posts, it’s your job to negotiate the highest salary you can at interview stage or when offered a job, not to accept something you obviously aren’t happy with, if you have to start moaning about it when you find out someone else is on a higher wage further down the line.
Unless you can PROVE that’s just because of gender, which in this day and age is very unlikely. Would you be so up in arms if it was another woman on more money?
Maybe they’re just worth more to the company than you.

Ifailed · 11/11/2017 07:52

I can't believe how quick people are to defend why a man should get paid more!

No one has done that! As plenty of people have pointed out, there are a 101 reasons why person A gets paid more than person B, and sometimes A is a women and sometimes a man.

LittleWitch · 11/11/2017 08:00

#EqualPayDay

AIBU to feel annoyed that male colleague is paid £5k more than me?
Bruceishavingfish · 11/11/2017 08:06

No one is defending discrimination.

Simply pointing out that its not as clear cut as it seems.

Over the years i have been on mn, i have seen this subject come up over and over. In most cases the Op has never asked for a pay rise, accepted what was offered etc.

No one is going to give a woman a pay rise because a colleague who is a man, has negotiated one.

And having being on the recieving end of people assuming my pay is higher, because of erroneous reasons (rather than i just went after what i wanted), it pisses me off that people find 1001 reasons they dont get paid enough. Rather than look at themseleves.

If we want this to change. We need to be part of that change and go after what we want.

Headofthehive55 · 11/11/2017 08:07

You could work for the nhs where you are on a national pay scale. It doesn't matter how much extra I do or try to improve I will not get anymore money. It's crushing.

devos · 11/11/2017 08:07

We have a male contractor on our team who was earning almost double me. I've had a payrise since but he's still on a good whack more.

He's a nice guy but so lazy and unmotivated and my manager knows but let's it go. People who support him come to me for help because he doesn't know and just ignores them.

It's frustrating but I'm going to be leaving soon so I'll just step back but I feel for my other colleagues who'll get lumped with it.

rwalker · 11/11/2017 08:13

loads of people where i used to work got paid different amounts for same job NOTHING to do with male/female when you had yearly review you got pay rise on that varied from 0 to 10% based on your performance not male or female could something like this be the reason. One woman kicked off and went to union saying she was paid less because she was a woman . Turned out some of the women were paid more than the men it was based on performance but she was shouting sexism . Just go and ask for raise at your next review .

WhatwouldAryado · 11/11/2017 08:14

With your better qualifications and comparable experience maybe look somewhere for a better fit and greater pay.
It is not legal if there are no other factors that could be cited (length of employment, greater workload).

AnUtterIdiot · 11/11/2017 08:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ivykaty44 · 11/11/2017 08:22

I do the same job as three males in my team and they are paid more than me but they are paid the same as some other females in the team.

There are reasons and it’s legal

fluffydogs · 11/11/2017 08:25

Without the full details it is hard to say, you haven’t said who has been there longer, is pay incremented. Is there a pension that’s he’s in that your not? Have the pay scales changed since you started etc??

Battyoldbat · 11/11/2017 08:30

This happened to me years ago. I had been doing the job for a while, a man was recruited newly into the job, I was training him. Found out he was paid more than me, spoke to my boss and asked for a pay rise. No money was available for that apparently. So I quit and found myself a much better paid job elsewhere. These days (this was nearly 20 years ago) I’d probably fight the legality of it more.

Yeeeha · 11/11/2017 08:33

I can't believe how quick people are to defend why a man should get paid more

Well, unless you can be 100% certain that there is no circumstance where a woman could be earning more than another woman, or a woman earning more than a man in the same situation then your post is bollocks.

There are hundreds of valid reason why one individual could be paid differently to another who is in the same role in the same grade, non of which have anything to do with gender and loads of which have already been mentioned in this thread.

It amazes me that people automatically assume they are being hard don to just because of their sex/race etc rather than looking at the much bigger picture.

gamerwidow · 11/11/2017 08:34

This is exactly why we need pay transparency. If you do the same job as a co worker you should get the same pay.
Secrecy about pay leads to this crap. Why should you have to argue and make demands to get paid a fair rate. Employers take the piss with paying as little as they can get away with. What happened to respect for your workforce.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 11/11/2017 08:34

This hapoened when i started a new job many years ago

6 of us were hired 3 men and 3 women (all in our twenties) the most experienced was a woman and the best paid was a man

Brand new role all 6 of us were paid a different amount

As someone said earlier a bit more information if you can give it woukd be helpful for people to give their opinion/help

Joey7t8 · 11/11/2017 08:35

Go ask for a pay rise. If the outcome isn't satisfactory then find yourself a new job to see how much your current employer values you and if they try to meet or better the new offer.

Crunchymum · 11/11/2017 08:36

Could be that he negotiated a better deal when he was taken on.

I would of course challenge it, but if you can't say you know his salary details then you don't have much leverage.

greendale17 · 11/11/2017 08:41

Unless you can PROVE that’s just because of gender, which in this day and age is very unlikely. Would you be so up in arms if it was another woman on more money?
Maybe they’re just worth more to the company than you.

^This