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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Buggy, wheelchair and shopping trolleys on bus - WIBU

69 replies

shatteredmama · 10/11/2017 15:01

I know this gets done to death, but I want to know if I've just been an arse.

Got on bus with toddler in buggy, lots of older people got on too, lots with those sholly shopping bags on wheels, all fine, there was room for a few of them with their shollys in one bay and room for me and toddler in the other one. All good.

Next stop a woman in a wheelchair got on. I knew she had priority over me and was happy to move, bus was packed so it was looking like I would need to collapse buggy, again, no problem with this, however noticed a man had his sholly taking up a whole seat where my toddler in buggy could be put.

I asked him if he'd mind if I lifted his sholly and put it in the luggage rack so my toddler in buggy could have it's place. Cue lots of gasps and muttering from everyone on the bus and the man barking at me that he wouldn't let me do that and that he was disabled and wouldn't move. I'm sure I'd made it clear that I only wanted to move his luggage, not him!

Ended up collapsing buggy, driver helped me put it in luggage rack and I sat at the back of bus with toddler on my knee.

I thought priority for using the bays went to disabled first, buggys next, luggage last, WIBU?

OP posts:

JonSnowsWife · 10/11/2017 20:15

HadronCollider · 10/11/2017 20:17

No one said you didn't deserve to use the bus though did they?

Iwannasnack · 10/11/2017 20:27

Yanbu op. Although I think people are right that those sholleys (never heard that before either) can double up as a mobility aid.
I hate getting the bus for this reason, I’m more than happy to get off or move for a wheelchair but not people who feel they need a seat or the extra space for their shopping.
And yes it is a massive INCONVENIENCE to have to fold a buggy with a toddler and shopping. Not impossible, not unreasonable, not a major hardship but a bloody inconvenience!
People wonder why it’s so hard to get people to use public transport

QueenUnicorn · 10/11/2017 20:31

YANBU
There was space for you to put your buggy somewhere without taking out the child, whatever luggage was in it and collapsing it.
But someone wouldn't let you move some luggage to do it.
I find that very rude, and I bet the bus was held up if the driver had to come and help put the buggy in the storage.

JonSnowsWife · 10/11/2017 20:33

Yanbu op. Although I think people are right that those sholleys (never heard that before either) can double up as a mobility aid.

That's all people are trying to say OP.

My DM is riddled with osteoarthritis. She refused to use her crutches or a walker and used the shopping trolley for years. It used to infuriate me. Mainly because they are not safe as a mobility aid and if it fell over it'd be taking DM with her. BUT people still use them. I was relieved when DM finally swallowed her pride and got a walker. It meant I no longer had to worry whether DM was going to fall whilst trying to do her shopping in the rain / snow etc.

The point where you can be considered rude however, is the minute you ask if you could move his 'luggage' for him.

Mammylamb · 10/11/2017 20:34

How dare you expect to be able to take a buggy on a bus? You entitled woman you. For years other women had to fold their buggies or walk 10 miles with 8 kids in a sling. So why should you even think you have the right to get on a bus with a buggy??? How very dare you

Kpo58 · 10/11/2017 20:48

Sorry but what inconvenience is it to you to collapse a buggy a TODDLER was in?

Alot to the toddler if she doesn't remove them first, before collapsing the buggy.

Original poster

shatteredmama · 10/11/2017 20:48

Mammylamb

OP posts:

JonSnowsWife · 10/11/2017 20:55

Yeah because that's what people are taking exception too.

Nice to have a sprinkling of goady fuckery on a Friday night I suppose.

JonSnowsWife · 10/11/2017 21:00

Alot to the toddler if she doesn't remove them first, before collapsing the buggy.

kpo58 😂

Skyechasemarshalsfanmum · 10/11/2017 21:05

Sleeping my 6 year old with asd fits in the phil and ted sport buggy. Its the only double i could find for him and dd whos 2.5 (whos also being assessed for a disability) our local company gave us a disability bus pass so drivers treat there buggy as they would a wheelchair user

Ljlsmum · 10/11/2017 21:12

Everyone going on about it being a mobility aid- he's not using it if he's sitting down, the OP said she'd help AND she even said the bus driver helped her with the buggy. The driver could very well have helped the man with the trolley if he saw she was struggling with that.

I think she was fine to ask, he was entitled to say no- but I don't see how he needed the trolley if it was being used as an aid list he's sitting still on a bus.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 10/11/2017 21:21

Ljlsmum Imagine you need crutches, or a wheelchair, to move about. Imagine somebody moving your crutches or wheelchair several feet away, where you can't get them without the help of a stranger.

Can you see how that's not a very appealing scenario?

MNHQ

LouMumsnet · 10/11/2017 21:27

Evening folks.

We've had these sorts of discussions on MN before and it's fair to say that they can get a tad heated.

It feels like a good moment to remind you that Mumsnet is here to make parents' lives easier. While we encourage healthy and robust discussion, we hope that everyone can respect each other and express their views without resorting to personal attacks.

We'd also like to point out that we take a dim view of disablist posts and we'll delete any posts which are reported to us and which we feel break Talk Guidelines.

Peace and love.

RunningOutOfCharge · 10/11/2017 21:33

You use the bus so should be prepared to fold the buggy at any moment

You managed it fine so there’s no issue

JonSnowsWife · 10/11/2017 21:33

Everyone going on about it being a mobility aid- he's not using it if he's sitting down,

Doesn't matter. He will be using it to get back up.

The offer of the OP helping him is immaterial. Mainly because she's not trained to, bus company isn't insured and if she inadvertently injures her back or something whilst helping him. She can hold him responsible.

I'm sure sholley man is not the only one OP could have asked on the bus.

JonSnowsWife · 10/11/2017 21:36

The driver could very well have helped the man with the trolley if he saw she was struggling with that.

I remember a lady trying to get on the bus with her powerchair and the driver refusing to get out of his csb for 'health and safety reasons'.

He was most unimpressed when he realised quite quickly, I knew exactly how the fold out floor ramp works having had to do it several times for DM when she's been in a chair.

Quite possible the driver would have refused to help too.

timeisnotaline · 10/11/2017 21:38

On the bright side how nice to read an entire thread and no one has said the wheelchair user should have waited for the next bus because you are all people and some even PARENTS and so you haz rights.

SleepingStandingUp · 11/11/2017 10:48

I'm sure sholley man is not the only one OP could have asked on the bus
Buses typically have two spaces usable by buggies. One is a wheel chair space. She was in it and needed to vacate it. The other is two fold up seats - man was in one seat with trolley beside him. Thaws where she wanted to put the buggy. Who else would you suggest she asks? There isn't an abundance of suitable spaces for buggies

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