Who was right?

[MrsG841]

Dd has come to me twice now to say she has seen a ghost (2 years old)

Tonight she said she saw a boy...i was calmly explaining to her that ghosts cannot hurt you and maybe he wa ted to be your friend.

Dad walks in and says ghosts are not real.

He doesnt believe in this kind of thing whereas i do (i have never spoken to Dd about ghosts)

AIBU to think it is better to teach her they wont harm her rather than dismissing her belief

Children are said to be very open communicators with the other side

Oh my god. Do people with brain cells actually believe in 'ghosts'.

Are you sure she isn't remembering things from Halloween as a PP suggested?

I can't believe your response was to say 'they won't hurt you'

As someone said upthread, if it was a monster under the bed, would you have said the same, or would you have went upstairs, took her with you and both inspected to show her there's nothing there and it was her imagination.

Please do not pass your 'woo-ness', on to your child.

Child psychology would say that you believe her. If there are monsters in your child’s room the best way to reassure them is to use monster spray, not to tell them there is no such thing as monsters. So using this theory I would say that you did the right thing.

Children are said to be very open communicators with the other side

And reiki and homeopathy are said to cure illness. A lot of things idiots people say is utter bullshit.

Child psychology would say that you believe her

No, it wouldn't. Not that "child psychology" is any kind of entity with a single view on anything, so the statement doesn't make any kind of sense.

Children make stuff up. Ghosts are not real. It's more important for your child to learn the difference between fantasy and reality.

Thats ridiculous....if im going to take fantasy away i may as well take any childhood away

I believe in the phenomenon because my childhood home had a 'ghost' which we all saw over many years. I don't know if it was sentient or if it was a spirit or a replay of a past event or what it was.... but for want of a better word I'd call it a ghost. The subsequent owners of the house have also seen it in more recent years.

Those who say they don't exist are stating an opinion, we don't understand what the phenomenon is, but telling people who have experienced it that they are liars or stupid, gullible or wrong is just patronising and arrogant.

I think you were right to say if she did see something it can't hurt her. Telling her she's lying or didn't see anything, if she's sure she did, would be wrong.

So believing in - and seeing - spirits is 'woo'........yet those very same people go out of their way to make their kids believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and that ridiculous Elf on the Shelf

I think you had the right idea OP.
Childhood is a very "black and white" time of imagination and magic. If a child is convinced that they have seen a monster /ghost telling them "it's not there" will only make them feel alone and more frightened. But telling them that you believe them and that whatever it is isn't going to harm them and that you aren't afraid is likely to mean that they are not afraid either.
My daughter saw monsters and would not be convinced that they did not exist... So I bought her a Dr who sonic screwdriver - because the Dr always defeats the monster! And within the first night... No more fears or tears! :)

He is. Ghosts are not real and it’s not fair to entertain the delusion with a 2yo

You both were. Ghosts are real AND they can't hurt you.

I am typing these words now. Each letter appears on my screen as I type it. When you read them back, I will no longer be here.

But its ok to entertain the delusion that santa is real? Its the same thing

It’s not the same thing when one scares the living shit out of you and the other brings presents.

Also, most people grow out of beliefs in Santa et al by age 8 or so.

Where did OP say that her child was scared?

Well I assumed given that the OP was urged to tell her DD that a ghost couldn’t hurt her. Has anyone ever had to say that about the Easter bunny? 🤔

Its still entertaining a delusion...same as easter bunny and tooth fairy

One is a bit of fun that they’ll get over soon, the world over agrees that Santa isn’t real.

The other is telling them a dead person is around them, and often believing it themselves.

hotbuttered has it spot on - ghosts aren’t real and no one should be telling children they are. I can’t believe some people encourage the concept of a family ghost

If one believes in ghosts and spirits how has one determined that the entity in question isn't the tormented soul of a child rapist?

I dont see anywhere in this thread an investigation into the intentions of the entity. How can one determine what its really doing in a child's bedroom without the parents permission?

I think you were right to say if she did see something it can't hurt her. Telling her she's lying or didn't see anything, if she's sure she did, would be wrong

This ^^

Julie it was my bedroom she was in not hers and she said it was a little boy

There very well documented reasons people ‘see ghosts’. None of which are ‘because ghosts’.

Santa and the tooth fairy are rough. I’d rather not but it’s expected.

And your drama llama nonsense about getting rid of childhood? What nonsense. Children don’t need lies and delusions to be happy. The world as it exists is incredible enough!

So believing in - and seeing - spirits is 'woo'........yet those very same people go out of their way to make their kids believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and that ridiculous Elf on the Shelf

It's not at all the same thing. Santa and all that jazz is fun fantasy, that we all know isn't real. We do it because kids love it and it's fun for them, and they are fully expected to realise at some point that it isn't real, its just part of childhood.
Dingbats that believe in woo wankery never grow out of it. They keep their childish ideas as adults and then try and pass them on to their kids, like OP is doing. It's not remotely the same thing and it's totally inappropriate. There is something wrong with you if you think its ok to tell a toddler that there is a dead person on their house. It's terrible parenting.

There’s a thread running at the moment where a religious mother is telling her child to pray if she feels scared of the urban legend type tales one of her friends is telling her in school.

Might be an interesting read.

Im not passing it on to my child at all! I just didnt want her to be scared so was telling her it wont harm her fgs

Of course you are. You said i was calmly explaining to her that ghosts cannot hurt you and maybe he wa ted to be your friend

That is passing on your nonsense.