Who was right?

[MrsG841]

Dd has come to me twice now to say she has seen a ghost (2 years old)

Tonight she said she saw a boy...i was calmly explaining to her that ghosts cannot hurt you and maybe he wa ted to be your friend.

Dad walks in and says ghosts are not real.

He doesnt believe in this kind of thing whereas i do (i have never spoken to Dd about ghosts)

AIBU to think it is better to teach her they wont harm her rather than dismissing her belief

I think the way that you approached it with her was absolutely fine and I would have said something along similar lines 😊

Did the dd say she was scared? Ghosts being scary is the sort of thing that kids learn from TV etc (ghosts cashing people or saying Boo! Etc)
I wouldn’t come out and say ghosts are/aren’t real but in the morning Zi would probably discuss dreams/daydreams that seem real

@SnipSnipMrBurgess - how is my point ridiculous? There is no empirical evidence for either God or Ghosts. Doesn't mean ppl aren't allowed to believe in either one but I assure you the two are logically equivalent

Dd just said she saw the ghost last night and didnt appear scared...the night before she came into us crying saying she saw a ghost so i dont know.

Whether you believe ghosts are real or not the OP's DD believes she is seeing one, so yes OP I think you were right to reassure her, not dismiss her feelings.

Are you crazy? A two year old believes something is true so you should reassure her?!

So if she believes a monster is in the plug hole and won’t have a bath because of it, it’s a good idea to say it won’t hurt her rather than there’s nothing there? It’s not the same as reassuring her a spider won’t hurt her fgs!

Whether you believe ghosts are real or not hmm the OP's DD believes she is seeing one

Which is why it is your responsibility to inform her that she isn't seeing one, as they don't exist. That IS reassuring the child, indulging the nonsense and reinforcing it is not reassuring. If a child thinks there is a monster under her bed, you don't tell her yes there is but it probably won't eat you.

I suppose i should tell her that her imaginary friend doesn't as well 😒

We have a ghost and a
my older dc know it having seen him at different times. The younger ones have mentioned a few things more so lately as he shows up more around birthdays for some reason!! My dh didn't believe until we met but he does now after seeing him and hearing him. Nobody should tell their dc they aren't believed imo.

That’s alright. When she grows up she’ll believe in homeopathy, flat earth theory and crystals. Critical thinking isn’t useful for anything.

Yeah, tell her Father Christmas doesn't exist while you there...

That’s alright. When she grows up she’ll believe in homeopathy, flat earth theory and crystals. Critical thinking isn’t useful for anything

Well according to the Survey on Bull apparently religious beliefs are also in with the quackery.

Seriously? Your two year old isn't seeing ghosts, because ghosts aren't real.

Madness!

No comment @Oliversmumsarmy

Ghosts don't exist.

There's an intresting one. I believe dad is technically correct, I don't believe inbthe neither does the weight in scientific evidence. But you do and I know others do, like some people believe in god or other supernatural forces. It 2 too young to try and reflect the complexity of differing options? To say daddy say they are not real, but I think they are? Probably?

If so you'd probably best to go with most of the world on this one that they dont exist or both play along with it till they are old enough to question and make their own decisions. After all we are ok with lying about Santa Claus.

It 2 too young to try and reflect the complexity of differing options?

Yes, two year olds don't have developed theory of mind so can't understand that at all.

Children are said to be very open communicators with the other side
In the real world I have never heard of any young child talking to the dead. Somebodies been watching 'The Exorcist' too many times.

Is Father Christmas a spooky story designed to scare then? If he is, you're doing it wrong.

And I think you're missing the point than when your child grows up and is told about or realises that FC isn't real, he's a parent carrying on a heartwarming tradition. Once you've convinced a toddler that ghosts exist, how do you stop them from believing? You can't point to receipts and a costume can you!

The OP was not convincing their DC that ghosts exist, but trying to reassure her by suggesting it would be friendly. The exact same strategy as that schmaltzy John Lewis Christmas ad.

Just telling someone something doesn't exist doesn't solve the problem if the child thinks she can see it. I'm sure I never had an actual monster living in my closet as a child but I sure as hell was scared of it.

Is Father Christmas a spooky story designed to scare then? If he is, you're doing it wrong.

An old fat man who likes children to sit on his lap, is dressed in a bright red costume with a big sack, sneaks into your house/bedroom when you are asleep and checks if you have been naughty or nice? Sounds a bit dodgy to me!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy fair point. Sometimes its hard to get a 2 year olds phycology against yours.

I just wanted her to not be scared that why i said they wont hurt her etc

All stems if you believe or not or if you're open minded... Even if dh doesn't believe he could almost play along with it... Ahh you've got a new friend what's his name? Etc... Personally I believe and am always excited when my dc mention spirit around 😁

It doesn’t solve the problem no. But I expect your mum didn’t say the monster in your room wouldn’t hurt you, I suspect she told you it was your imagination.