Is this an acceptable thing to say?

[summerlovinggirl]

My DS (9, nearly 10) has come home from school today and asked what verbal diarrhoea is? I asked him why he would ask and he told me that his teaching assistant said that he was talking verbal diarrhoea when they were discussing the project that they’re all doing.
I’m not normally precious at all over things like this, but my gut reaction is it’s a really rude thing to say to a child.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m aware my DS can talk utter crap at times but to say it to him in that matter just sits wrong with me. At patents evening the other day, full time teacher said DS was very polite and always added good ideas and opinions within class.
So am I being silly to think anything of this or has the assistant been rude.

If a friend told me I had verbal diarrhoea after I rambled on at length about something, I wouldn't mind, but if she told me "Please be quiet, you are talking too much" I would be hurt and offended.

Perhaps people are objecting to treating kids in too grown up a way, and think they should be talked down to--- treated like children. I think kids usually respond well to being treated in a more adult way, and I remember feeling like that when I was a child too.

I said this to my DD the other day (she's 4 and my god can she talk...). She thought I said purple diorreah. It was hilarious

"They could suggest that the child marshal their thoughts a little and then think about what they're about to say. Set it as an exercise that is fun"

Wowee who would want to be a teacher these days? You could nicely tell a kid to shut up talking because their parents never taught them when they should speak and when they shouldn't or you could do a different fun activity when you're already meant to be doing an activity so as to not hurt the little precious ones feelings.

If your kid wont shut up, its your fault. Teach your child your child to be more respectful of everyone else in the room and maybe he won't need to be told to shut up. If my child was talking too much in class id be fully supportive of someone telling them to stop in this way. Its not as if she told him to shut the fuck up.

What a generation of snowflakes is being created with absolutely no resilience. Its the parents fault.

I think that's a very rude thing for a teacher to say.

I meant to add that in my experience that kids find a phrase like verbal diarrhoea funny (it's poo. What's not funny about poo when you're a kid?!) and using humour can be a great way to diffuse a frustrating situation like a child not settling down or to make an important point kindly. You connect with that person through humour and you can have a giggle about it

Ah, the irony! Perhaps if some posters on this thread had talked a bit less and listened a bit more at school they would understand what the expression actually means.....

Wowee who would want to be a teacher these days?

Well quite. Understandably, not very many people. Hence the massive recruitment and retention crisis in education. Perhaps when parents eventually realise how often their children are being babysat by unqualified cover supervisors instead of proper teachers, they will reflect on the part that precious and unsupportive parents played in creating that scenario. What harm do you actually think is done to your child by a gentle but slightly colourful way of telling him to shut the hell up for once?

Genuinely can't believe anyone would be offended by this, and that people are saying it's rude, or to 'have a word'. Have a word with yourselves, and, while you're at it, give yourself a head wobble and get a jeffing grip! The TA was being affectionate and jovial - the kid was clearly jabbering on and giving her/ him a headache.

To bastardise the words of Pink Floyd - hey, parent, leave the TA alone.

So glad I left teaching.

I agree it just means someone can't stop talking. Glad you've been reassured op. She probably said it in a jokey way.

It just means uncontrollable excessive talking, not that he is literally spouting shit from his mouth

Ime this phrase is exclusively used in a humorous context. I can't imagine anyone ever using it in an angry way. But it's a silly way of saying talking too much.

I bet it was more like your DS tabbittingbon non-profit stop. Maybe she asked nicely a couple of times for him to stop, he carries on, then she eventually says goodness DS, have you got verbal diarrhoea today?!

It's not rude. Ruder is to talk incessantly to the point you have to be asked to stop. But he's just a kid. Hopefully he'll learn. Did you have a word with him about his behaviour, and learning when to bloody well shut up in class? Some kids don't half go on!

It is offensive because there is the comparison to something undesirable and disgusting, such as diarrhoea.

Embellishing it with 'verbal' doesn't change that. It's still vulgar.

Really what it means is 'you are talking an awful lot of shit'. I would never use it.

There are other ways to say it without resorting to the diarrhoea comparison.

It doesn't mean you are talking shit, it means you are talking too much
dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/verbal-diarrhoea

I use that phrase for my own child... I actually think it's just funny, not rude at all.

Words don't just express one meaning: they also call up a host of associations. Part of teaching English is to teach children how to manage the associations they evoke by their particular choice of words. And, frankly, the association of verbal diarrhoea is never going to be "a stream of enjoyable and valuable contributions".

Those who think the expression is entirely neutral might want to ask themselves how they would feel if their boss referred to their verbal diarrhoea in front of colleagues.

I would not contact the school about this: I'd just think the teacher made a bit of a blunder.

But I would point this out to my son and strongly recommend him never to use the expression in any kind of formal setting. Thinking words only have dictionary meanings and no associations is the kind of thing that could completely scupper a job interview.

I'm not a school teacher, but I don't feel beleaguered just because I probably couldn't get away with using that phrase about a colleague or student. I just accept that there are other ways of getting my meaning across.

Teachers do seem to feel hard done by very quickly if it's suggested they have to think about their language: I wonder what they think it's like to work in a customer-orientated job. Do they reckon salespeople and waitresses and shop staff can just say what they like?

He's 9 I can't believe he doesn't know what it means.. does he read books and watch movies? its a very common phrase I wouldn't bat an eyelid. I would, however read between the lines 'ALWAYS added ideas and opinions'. is a nice way of saying he talks over people and doesn't allow others a turn. Maybe he has been told to tone it down and he hasn't got the message yet.

But it depend on what op's ds was talking about at the time?
If he was contributing to the actual discussion, etc, I agree it was wrongly used. But if he was talking about totally irrelevant thing and didn't stop, then it was rightly used?

Is there anything left that isn’t ‘offensive’?

I think I’ve been genuinely offended maybe 4 times in my life. Some people must live very dull lives.

There is some potential middle ground between becoming all offended and storming into the school otoh and believing it is perfectly neutral.

My middle ground would be quietly murmuring to myself "well, I don't think this was the ideal choice of words, and I do hope ds doesn't pick up on it and use it to his gran because he believes it's neutral".

Sounds like your child needs to learn that their voice doesn't need to be heard all the time. Can be a hard lesson for some children.

It is also possible to think it was an unfortunate choice of words and still agree with this: "Sounds like your child needs to learn that their voice doesn't need to be heard all the time." My dd was very similar at this age: she needed to learn how to put a point across without hogging all the attention.

I normally use wittering with my kids, I’m going to use verbal diarrhoea this weekend.

Ridiculous to complain.

'But then, Hetero, you're going against your own policy of treating children like adults. Because you wouldn't publicly tell someone in the workplace who was talking too much that they have to go and sit with Ms Boss, would you?'

Hang on. I would be naming a consequence appropriate to the situation. In the 'employee won't shut up' circumstance I might say something like 'look, if you won't let anyone else speak and get their point across the rest of us are going to have to hold this meeting at another time without you there'. Same thing, reframed for the situation. And again, I never ever said 'treat children LIKE adults', I said 'treat children with the same courtesy as adults'.