Is this an acceptable thing to say?

[summerlovinggirl]

My DS (9, nearly 10) has come home from school today and asked what verbal diarrhoea is? I asked him why he would ask and he told me that his teaching assistant said that he was talking verbal diarrhoea when they were discussing the project that they’re all doing.
I’m not normally precious at all over things like this, but my gut reaction is it’s a really rude thing to say to a child.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m aware my DS can talk utter crap at times but to say it to him in that matter just sits wrong with me. At patents evening the other day, full time teacher said DS was very polite and always added good ideas and opinions within class.
So am I being silly to think anything of this or has the assistant been rude.

It’s not rude. It’s a light hearted expression meaning talking a lot or too much.

It's not treating children 'like' adults, it's treating them 'with the same courtesy as' adults - modelling the kind of behaviour we would like to see in them. There would be other humorous but kinder ways of pointing out to this child that he or she is talking too much. For example, actively directing the focus onto someone else - 'thanks, Alex, that's great; now what do you think, Evie?' Which creates the potential for progressively firmer, but fair and logical (because the scene has been set for it to be someone else's turn now) cuttings-off if Alex keeps interrupting and going on.

Dear me, it’s a very inoffensive, jokey way of politely telling a child to STFU!

If it is such an awful phrase to use then maybe the OP needs to address the fact her child should realise they have one mouth but two ears, or is that offensive too?

HeteronormativeHaybales
And in doing that Alex learns that Alex can fill thr airtime as much as he likes until somebody stops him.

There's nothing wrong with thr OP's situation. Just some people are professionally offended.

I'm not sure I"d have much respect for a teacher who told my child this. They could suggest that the child marshal their thoughts a little and then think about what they're about to say. Set it as an exercise that is fun. Saying to a chatty child ''you've got verbal diarrhoea'' that is unnecessarily negative imo.

I can't see my children's teachers saying that though

The problem with 'verbal diarrhoea' is not just that is communicates that someone is talking too much, it is (quite literally) telling them that they are talking shit. And a child will hear that - as adults we tend to focus on the copiousness aspect of the phrase, but a child will focus on the poo aspect. Would you be happy if your child was told 'shut up, you're talking shit'? No? Funny that.

'And in doing that Alex learns that Alex can fill thr airtime as much as he likes until somebody stops him.'

And in this scenario he or she (I deliberately chose a unisex name) would be stopped - 'Alex, it's Evie's turn now, OK?' - 'Alex, it's Evie's turn'. 'Alex, if you can't let Evie have her turn you'll have to go and sit with Ms Teacher'. Only the very extreme cases would get to stage 3 of this, and I doubt comments about verbal diarrhoea would stop them either.

Sigh. I'm not talking about how I or you or any other adult interprets it. I'm talking about what a child - the recipient of the message - will hear.

Not sure what else I expected - this place is full of neo-authoritarian apologism for unpleasantness to children lately.

And I agree that this is not a big deal, for those imagining that if it happened to my child I would be down at the school shouting the odds. I've let worse things go wrt my children, after consideration of the overall situation and talking to my child. But the question was whether it's acceptable, and I don't think it is (NB 'unacceptable' does not always = 'time to go down to the school odds-shouting').

Not the most professional of phrases to use but fairly harmless.
Your son is nearly 10 so not an infant. I think he should be able to handle a pretty mild comment like that. I'm sure he'll hear worse when he starts secondary school.
If it was me I would not raise it at the school. It is not nearly serious enough IMO.

It means she can't stop talking, not that she is talking crap.

It is a harmless phrase, you will just look silly and precious if you raise this with the teacher.

And the point still stands.
You tell a child 'don't worry about rules of conversation or actually shutting up, just talk as much as you like UNTIL SOMEONR STOPS YOU' rather than learning that conversatiom functions when everyone learns that they need to be quiet because that's how conversations work.

This thread reminds me of a complainy to me because after speaking to a student multiple times for interrutping me and their peers they interrupted a student sharing an answer to thr class. I said 'I'm getting a little fed up of you deciding that what you have to say is more important than anyonr else in thr room. Be quiet. When you interrupt lile that it is rude'
Got a very angry phone call from a parent saying her child keeps being told to be quiet and how are they meant to learn if thy are ALWAYS being stopped. Etc. Apparently staff across school have been saying the same things and she's had enough of her cjild being 'bullied" by staff. I can't help but see that maybe her child hogging yhe airtime at home plays a role in their inability to shut up and listen to others.

*he (not she)

I read into it more as talking crap as that’s the context that I would use it in, but now see that for many people it’s the amount of talking.

No, it's not "for many people", it's what the term actually means. I'm quite impressed that the TA chooses to use terminology that helps to enhance the children's vocabulary.

Perhaps I'm odd, but I would prefer a "Be quiet now, xxx, you are talking far too much", for me or my child, after more positive attempts to direct the turn-taking. Because it's direct, dispassionate and unmisinterpretable without being unpleasant or snide (and a 'pack in the verbal diarrhoea now, there's a love' has the potential to be delivered with a stingingly hefty side order of snideness). And (to MaisyPops) if this is practised from the beginning hopefully the scenario you cite will be avoided, where a teacher snaps and says more than they might otherwise have done. (And tbh, with a parent like that, do you really think a 'stop the verbal disrrhoea now' is going to have any realistically different impact?).

Please don't raise it, OP. Schools and teachers have SO many more important things to be doing than dealing with this sort of thing. We had someone complain to the HT the other day because one of our TAs smiles at her child too much . (No implication of anything untoward, I should hastily add, just that apparently this implies that the TA's not being properly respectful to this particular 5yo.)

I think it's an old fashioned expression that is no longer appropriate. It does indeed mean "talks too much" rather than "talks a lot of shit" but it is definitely "talks too much" in a negative sense.

The connotations of the word diarrhoea are such that I would be surprised that anyone who works in a school would use the term verbal diarrhoea, because the conversation would instantly turn to: "You saying I talk shit, Miss?/Urgh Miss you said diarrhoea that means you said shit!/I had diarrhoea once and it squirted all up the wall/That's nothing, Jack, my Dad it and he shat his pants" and it would take a VERY long time to steer it back on track.

As an insult however it's not so bad, and I would file this one under P for "Pick your battles."

(Sorry for multiple posts) MaisyPops - if you had said that to a child of mine they would never have dreamed of running to me to tell me, and if they had I would have said 'well, don't you think there might be something in it?' and got them to think about their behaviour in class. The very fact that a parent can complain about a comment like that from a teacher indicates an issue with that parenting which goes beyond chiding for verbal diarrhoea.

Verbal diarrhoea to me means can't stop talking once started. I have it frequently - no off button!

And in this scenario he or she would be stopped - 'Alex, it's Evie's turn now, OK?' - 'Alex, it's Evie's turn'. 'Alex, if you can't let Evie have her turn you'll have to go and sit with Ms Teacher'.

But then, Hetero, you're going against your own policy of treating children like adults. Because you wouldn't publicly tell someone in the workplace who was talking too much that they have to go and sit with Ms Boss, would you? And the fact of the matter is that it's teachers' jobs to deal with children all day in ways you wouldn't treat adults: you wouldn't make adults ask for permission to go to the loo, you wouldn't hand out detentions or give stars or house points for good work, you wouldn't contact their parents if they fail to do work at home, etc etc.

Gracious the term ‘snowflake’ comes to mind. I really feel for teachers who are now expected to be answerable to fussing parents if their badly behaved children get told (quite nicely by sound of it) to shut up. Chatterbox would not express the same meaning and does not suggest the incessant outpouring from the child is irritating.
Absolutely ridiculous to be offended by this. The reaction should be to tell the child they need to learn to stop twittering on.

I think it is unacceptable to say this, as Balloon says, it is outmoded.
Children deserve respect as much as adults, not more or less, you can stop a child from talking in a more mindful way imho.