To ask if you've ever known someone like this?

[FGSholdthedoor]

Have you ever known someone who makes you question everything?

In a way that you know they're in the wrong but they will bring forward lots of convincing arguments and make sense and it will begin to make you question your stance?
Even if you know you are right but in their presence you just can't bring yourself to argue the point or your mind goes blank and you can't counter anything they say?

Sorry if this is vague but I'm currently questioning my sanity

We've minimised contact over time (phone calls, visits, texts etc)

I see them once a week/every two weeks for the sake of DS as he adores them and it works in with my schedule.
I know it will get harder over time, DS will be going to school etc and it will all need revising. They will want to see DS on their own and go away with him which isn't an option, but the drama and guilt trips that will follow is something I'm still not prepared for.
My only issue is I struggle to articulate things when I'm put on the spot, and I struggle to predict what will be said/done so I cannot prepare an answer in advance.
I just want to make sense and be able to articulate my stance without clamming up or my mind going blank.

I just want to make sense and be able to articulate my stance without clamming up or my mind going blank

What types of things is it she says? Is it just stupidity about inconsequential things, nasty comments about people she knows, or is it racist/elitist crap?

But in any case, remember that the problem is that she doesn't care what your stance is. So don't bother articulating it. Focus on realizing that her opinion is worthless and that you don't need to defend yourself or others from her. In fact, you don't even need to tell her what you think in the first place because 99% of the time it isn't important and 100% of the time you won't change her. It's normal to want to defend our positions but it's not wrong NOT to do so (again, unless some harm will come from not doing so.

Her; I just think it's terrible that people criticize !
You: Dead silence (because who cares what she thinks)

Her: Don't you think is a terrible cook?
You: Dead silence (because if you agree she'll tell, if you disagree she'll argue)

Her: I think all Muslims should be kicked out of the UK.
You; Dead silence (because she doesn't have the power to do so)

Just silently repeat to yourself "I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person". But be aware that at some point you may will have to make a decision regarding your DS if it is racism or the like because you cannot have him exposed to that. Even then, it won't be a case of arguing to try and convince her so she can be around DS, it will be a decision NOT to have her around your child. A decision you will NOT need to justify to her.

I meant with things that I do have to address.

You can check my recent thread about Christmas arrangements if you want a bit of an idea on what I mean.

I don't really mind what her general opinions are on politics/other people etc as everyone's entitled to their own opinions and I just nod along or smile.
But there occasions (like the Christmas thing) where she will be arguing her point saying "it's one time" "you always do XYZ why can't you do something different now" and the guilt trips of "I see how it is" etc
She still succeeds in making me feel guilty with certain things.

Or what's even worse she's very good at convincing people me she's right...

been there,
done that and done it better,
seen that,
bought that,
had that,
learned that,
could do that standing on his head AND had done it in fact that very morning at dawn

My mate describes people like that as follows: If you were going to Tenerife for your holidays, he'd be going to Elevenerife.

Ah, saw your thread. I see what you mean.

She's manipulative. But again, you won't be able to make her see reason. All you can do is make your decision and stick to it. And give as few reasons as possible for her to argue against. A poster on your other thread gave you an 'imaginary dialogue' and it's pretty much what I'd say. In a way you almost have to treat her like a child. If she won't cooperate, then she loses a 'privilege'. If she learns that if she tries to guilt and manipulate you that it results in not seeing you (and DS) at all, then she'll learn not to try to push you around.

You are NEVER going to change her. Never. So all you can do is change your reactions to her. And refuse to discuss it.