But you HAVE changed. You AREN'T the same girl! And that's a GOOD THING!!! None of us are the same once we've been out on our own, experiencing the world and making our own decisions, as we were when we were living with our parents and/or in our hometowns.
Your mother obviously believes that the only correct opinion is hers. And she expects everyone to recognize that and fall in line. If you disagree with her, it stands to reason that you are being 'influenced' by someone else. Because it's not possible that she is wrong and you are right. Or that you would possibly be 'independent' enough to stand up for yourself. No, it's someone else's evil influence.
The best thing to do is to go 'grey rock'. Not saying your mum is a narc, grey rock works with people who are merely opinionated, too. Best thing to do is just not offer an opinion, not respond to provocative statements, and do that noncommittal 'um-hmm' when she says anything. Only put your foot down if what she says is actually harmful to another person, affects your children (like racist comments in their hearing), or would require distasteful or unreasonable action or expenditure on your part. It may sound a bit cowardly, but sometimes discretion IS the better part of valor. You cannot change her. All you can do is 'minimize her'. Don't let her get your goat.
I had an aunt like this, but obvs her effect on me would be much less that if it had been my mother. Auntie was just bossy and that everyone must do as she advised because she was always right. I mean who to date, what job to take, car to buy, vote, etc. I just ignored her or said 'um-hmm' and then went on and did what I wanted.
www.thriveafterabuse.com/going-gray-rock/