To ask someone to get something from the shop for me...

[FavouriteElephantTeddy]

...when they're going anyway?

Because my DM seems to think I am.

I don't drive and the only nappies that properly fit DD (2.4) without leaking are Tesco. I can get on the bus to go there, and if it's an absolute emergency I have done in the past but DM goes there every single week. I only ask her once a month or so to get 3 packs for £10 of nappies, I always pay the money when I go and get the nappies, and if she says she needs the money before hand I'd happily transfer the money to her bank online.

It's not going out of her way as she'd be at Tesco anyway, and I don't expect her to drop them at mine as that would mean driving past her house to get to mine, I always either pick them up when I do the my weekly shop at the Aldi basically opposite her house, or if we're meeting up anyway I ask her to bring them too me. We see each other at least twice a week and she picks DD up from Nursery once a fortnight as she likes to have alone time with my DD so it's not like they're hanging around her house for days on end.

My DM says it's too much, and I need to start getting my own nappies. The only thing I tend to buy in Tesco is nappies as I prefer Aldi and/or Morrisons which we have in our hometown within walking distance - I've tried both Aldi and Morrisons nappies before anyone mentions them, they don't fit DD properly and leak, so I use Tesco.

So AIBU to ask her? Or do I just need to start factoring a monthly trip to Tesco on the bus no way am I trying to get a weekly shop back on the bus with DD on my own! into my budget? My DM doesn't have a small car btw, a hyundai i30 and it's just her and two cats at home she's shopping for weekly so it's not like there's no room in the car for 3 packs of nappies.

Ok. I’m dyspraxic too and have sympathy but suggest you learn in an auto and just pass the test as quickly as possible. Having to rely on people who don’t want to help you is shit.

I've always paid her, and would happily pay her in advance if that's what she wanted. She has no reason to think I wouldn't pay

She probably doesn't want to set a precedent

What, of picking up some nappies for her grandchild when she is in that shop anyway!!!!

That is just tight OP.

I would do this for a friend or neighbour never mind my daughter, very odd!

Agree with pp re online order every few months

Online shop is the solution here, op, but I get the feeling there are more problems than just the nappy thing.

Why don’t you drive?

Maybe she can't afford lessons but it's not just lessons is it, she then needs a spare grand for insurance on top of petrol, tax, mots, tyres and whatever else .

Your dm is being VU, she's going any way all she needs to do it lift them out the trolley and into the car, not sure why she would have an issue with helping you out.

Your mother sounds awful. I don't think you are being cheeky at all.

The minimum spend on Tesco is £40 so just do a big shop off nappies and maybe tinned, or frozen stuff once a month.

With Tesco if your shop is less than £40 but over £25 ( I think) you can pay a small excess charge.

My mom used to buy baby milk for my dd when she was settled on farleys and they discontinued it 😒she bulk bought a shopful and I bought them off her when I needed them I'm not bragging just pointing out my mom and I don't get along but she would do that for her grandchild (She had a car I couldn't drive so same set up)

YANBU I can’t imagine not doing things for my dc and I can’t understand how some families can’t help each other out especially seeing as she literally doesn’t have to go out of her way to do it

It was only after children that I realised the advantage of driving I passed my test Friday my firstborn is 17 😂 tbf I've only really been able to learn this year due to finance circumstance etc

Your Mother isn’t being at all reasonable, however if she doesn’t want to, she doesn’t want to.

I would agree that online would be the way to go.

Change to auto! I did. Don't let people put you off. It is much easier. I passed with only lessons, about 30 but still, who cares, I passed my test and have been driving for a couple of years now.

YANBU. Why wouldn’t you do that. Very petty.
I am dyspraxic and ended up learning on an automatic. It was such a huge relief to not have try sort out the gears as well as everything else that’s involved. I started on a manual and it was literally hurting my brain. If you are really struggling it might be worth considering.

Could it be because of the bulk and weight?

Where do you live OP? I shop in Tesco and if you're nearby I'll go for you!

The answer to your question (especially seeing as you'll pay in advance and collect etc) is YANBU but your mother is!

Ravingroo how rude and unhelpful. Plenty of people don't drive for many reasons. My husband can't drive due to his sleep condition, and I chose not to simply because I didn't want want to (I prefer to have a drink tbh)
Op, I don't think it's putting your mum out much at all. I'm not sure what the problem is.

Am I the only dm who would donate an organ /limb if necessary never mind shove some bloody nappies in my trolley?!

I think I’d be cutting back on her demands for once a fortnight alone time if she can’t even be arsed to do something so simple that doesn’t put her out at all to help you.

So AIBU to ask her?

You weren't, but now that she has told you that she does not want to do it you are UR to continue to ask her, and to expect her to do it when she has said no.

She must have her reasons, whatever they are, and when someone says no to a favour you stop asking.

I think I’d be cutting back on her demands for once a fortnight alone time if she can’t even be arsed to do something so simple that doesn’t put her out at all to help you
Me too. How stingy can she be, she's there, and you buy them, no excess cost to her and she gets to collect the points on her card.

Tesco will deliver so buy them in bulk and get a delivery!

Jen There is that, I don't actually need DD picked up from Nursery she chooses to, so could cut that back, but not sure if that's just petty and unfair to DD?

Can you find the same ones on amazon or other online retailers?

If not, just do a Tesco bulk order. They always have offers on where you can probably secure free delivery. They have a £4 surcharge for orders under £40 but you’d have to pay bus fare & carry it back otherwise m so it seems like a good shout

It’s probably the bulk. I expect it aggravates her as she needs to pay for them, put them in the car and then return to the shop. Unless your mother is easily tired or disabled, I think it’s not a big ask.