Ignoring kids sometimes

[DaisyRaine90]

To think that ignoring my kids sometimes is actually good for them?

Eg. Letting them have (supervised) tummy time but not getting involved at all (the baby) or letting my daughter play on her own in her room for 1-2 hours at a time

Or having adult conversations and telling DD not to interrupt to tell me about her game because the adults are talking so to go “explore in the garden”

I do lots of activities with them but also sometimes just leave them to it.

AIBU to think this is good for them? Or is it just good for me as in selfish and taking a break?

I will sing rounds of twinkle twinkle and help with puzzles but sometimes I’m on the sofa with the phone and a coffee for a half hour or so in the day too.

I think it’s making them independent. Am I deluded?

*brasty
*
But There’s always soooo much to do!

It doesn’t help that I’m a fidget with an over active mind.

If I try and sit and relax my foot starts tapping and if I try to have a nap while the babies asleep I end up on Mumsnet** revising for University

yeah mumsnet a bit or revise for uni. I assumed you meant rushing about doing housework

I think time to themselves is key for young children and developing their own imagination and thoughts, that said there is a fine line. I feel sad for the parents always stuck on their phones and wasting the time they have with small children they will never get back, bad example.

You deserve a break and to do things you enjoy too. It is balance like all things.

😂😂😂😂😂

Nah, I’m a rubbish cleaner unless someone is paying me to do it then I am fastidious 😂

That is fine then

The phone things a bug bear for a lot I know 🐛 🐻

So, on laptop ordering a high chair or writing a C.V in same room as Lego jail being built and chatting to baby more socially acceptable?

No YANBU at all. I really quite abide the constant interruptions whilst i'm having other conversations, not just with adults either, my DD 9 who seems to crave more attention than her siblings does this alot (even talking with a mouth full of food) and it drives me round the bend. You can bet as soon as i sit down with a coffee and my phone someone will come and ask for something, my reply will be that i will help as soon as i finish my quiet time if you cant wait until then try and tackle the issue yourself, sorry not sorry, my kids have me 24 hours a day 7 days a week if i want to take 5 minutes to read the news i damn well will, regardless of what the newest most pointless parenting advice is.

Mine are left to their own devices a lot, other than the newborn of course. If I'm talking I always check it isn't an emergency if they want to chat, loo trip needed or whatever otherwise I tell them I want to hear it but am in the middle of something.

Glad I’m not alone! Sometimes I feel guilty and think I should be sat on the floor all the time doing puzzles or doing tummy time with the baby, but sometimes I just want to sit drinking soup and watch them entertain themselves.

I don’t know when life became one long homemade playdough covered multi sensory learning game but OmG enough already.

I blame Pinterest

Daisy I started a thread in chat about how long your DC would last in a zombie apocalypse

Yes definitely, OP, I am WITH you!

This is pretty much how I try and parent. I say 'try', DS1 is insanely sociable and is very unsuited to anything not involving lots of input and interaction. So we tend to use alot more clubs and activities for him, because long stretches of time during which he is expected to entertain himself for even some of it really don't end well (he becomes really defiant and boisterous and it's awful for everyone.) So he doesn't get as much of this as I like, except when we're at the park (which is alot) and I can leave him to his own devices. He is learning to love craft and drawing though which is lovely to see.
DD though is fantastic, nursery seems to have really developed her play skills and its a delight to watch her. I honestly think one of my favourite parts of being a mum is watching my kids play and explore without my input.

Brilliant brasty respect ✊

I’m always at the park. I push swings occasionally, but mostly sit back and watch 😊

Nursery was brilliant for my daughter too. I’m so glad I sent her from an early age. Only for a few hours when she was small but it was enough to help her with those vital play and social skills.

Can I have a link to the zombie apocalypse thread please?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3079642-How-long-would-your-DCs-survive-a-zombie-apocalypse

Thanks

As a non parent but who can still remember my childhood, leaving children to their own devices is doing them a huge favour, which allows them to expand and explore their imagination. Parents who micro-manage their children's activities 24/7 are not doing themselves or their children a favour.

I have one DS who is 19 months. He has a little indoor Wendy house thing in the dining room with toys in and a big row of books in the sitting room. I often leave him playing on his own while I'm pottering around cleaning or cooking in the kitchen. I can hear him and see him in both rooms if I stick my head round the door. He comes to me if he wants me and I check on him lots.

I love sometimes sneakily watching him in his house from the doorway playing. He'll be 'reading' (looking at) books, silently pointing to things, or stacking his blocks up and shaking his little head when he knows he's done it wrong before knocking them all down. It's so cute.

Does no harm! I do play with and read to him lots too (I'm a SAHM) but sometimes I need half an hour to get on with stuff (or have a coffee in peace!). I'd get nothing done if he needed my full attention 24/7.

YADEFINITELYNBU!!
I've been a Childminder for 17 years and have noticed a huge difference in how children play over those years.
Many of them can't play or don't know how to play on their own.They can't use their imagination and lack motivation and are scared to take risks. This is because children are constantly being kept busy by their parents with days out, activities, trips to soft play areas,playdates with other children, ballet/athletics/martial arts classes.....and when they're on their own they haven't got a clue what to do. I have children who constantly ask me what they can do next....... what we're doing next ....... what we're doing tomorrow.....Give them a box of bricks and they don't know what to do with them; ask them to build a tower and they don't know how. Not only that, but they're knackered! They finish school on a Friday and are on the go constantly till bedtime on Sunday. They start Monday morning tired so the chances of getting them motivated is slim already!!
Kids need to be bored......they need downtime.......they need to be left to get on with it so they can use their imagination and take risks without haven't someone hovering all the time. Many many children are being raised wrapped in cotton wool with parents doing everything for or with them and they struggle when they get to nursery and school. They're not doing them any favours!

Absolutely they need to learn to manage boredom through imagination, to learn persistence and to learn manners such as not interrupting.
Cardboard boxes are such good fun. I used to sit baby in front of washing machine and tell children to go outside to play for an hour or so. They really do need to learn self sufficiency and that the world does not revolve around their demands.

Yanbu at all and this is what I aim for too but I learned this lesson the hard way. I’m a reformed mummy martyr. When I only had one dc I was at home and I was so bored - I thought I had to play with him or otherwise entertain him all day long, and that I wasn’t allowed to put the tv on! I ended up absolutely frazzled.

Now I have two (and incidentally have become a LP) and my parenting is entirely different! Much more tv, more chores done while both dc are awake, less time o the floor with them. Of course I do play with them but not relentlessly all bloody day long ...

My DD is wonderful at imaginative play and occupying herself, probably as a result of going to three different nurseries (we moved house so she changed nursery then), and being an only child with lots of adult interaction and influence too. She has learned to be self-sufficient but I do love playing and interacting with her - even as she gets older and is growing up - but when she was much younger, I did leave her to play safely while I got on with a few chores etc, which I think stood her in good stead. Being an only child has helped massively too.

I'm so glad she has had this time to learn so much as I will need to leave her to her own devices a lot more when DC2 arrives next June... but I am not worried at all, as I know she will have plenty of friends and her own resources to keep her happily occupied. Hopefully..!

YANBU. The first couple of years after my son was born, I stayed with my in-laws and he barely had any alone time. He's now 5 and always wants one of us to play with him.

Kids that interrupt are a big pet hate of mine and even worse the parents that allow it.

I have a friend that in all the years I’ve known her we’ve never had one single conversation without one of her dc barging in asking something. Drives me potty.