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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this wedding reception was cheeky?

92 replies

NoCakeReception · 06/11/2017 11:16

A couple DP knows got married recently, in the Caribbean at quite short notice. No friends or family went but they had a joint ceremony with some friends. Photos looked beautiful, really hot and idyllic. They've been together years and everyone was very happy for them, sent congratulations on Facebook etc.

When they got back, we received a very formal A5 invite to the joint wedding reception, to be held this Saturday. Much was made of speeches, dress code, strict RSVP etc. "Gifts / money a bonus!" said the invite. Great, we thought. I've only met them a few times but DP used to be close to the groom so we thought it'd be fun.

So we dressed up in the specific style requested, put £50 in a nice card (we're not well off), and went along. It turned out to just be in a pub, not even a sectioned off area, so we were all hugely overdressed. It was very busy. The brides were in wedding dresses shouting at the other pub-goers for talking over the speeches. There was no buffet, no champagne for the toasts, no money behind the bar. The wedding cakes were on display, but they didn't cut them, so we didn't get any. The groom didn't even speak to us, though the bride said hello and thanks for the card. So basically we spent a few hours awkwardly standing in a crowded pub, hungry and overdressed, to give them some cash.

AIBU to think this is cheeky?

OP posts:
OlennasWimple · 08/11/2017 17:19

Anyone else want to know what the OP wore / what everyone else was wearing for the Hawaii theme? Grin

lightsON111 · 08/11/2017 19:25

Anyone else want to know what the OP wore / what everyone else was wearing for the Hawaii theme?

Desperately Grin

kaytee87 · 08/11/2017 19:47

Jesus how embarrassing for them Confused
I actually hope this thread appears in the Fail and the CFs see it.

stiffstink · 08/11/2017 19:58

So it was a Caribbean wedding with a Maui themed reception?! 😂

TowerRavenSeven · 08/11/2017 20:08

Unless it's a family wedding, I now take my cheque book to the reception and make out the cheque and card there. I've been to a few weddings recently that we wrote large cheque for and hardly had anything to eat. Not any more.

KeepItAsItIs · 08/11/2017 20:24

It was an excuse to get presents without them hosting a proper reception. How shitty of them. I would have been seriously unimpressed. And £50 is a lot of money.

wherethefuckismygin · 08/11/2017 23:57

Cf’s!
I have a friend who got married overseas. When they came back they sent out formal invitations to a ceremony and reception for those who couldn’t attend the overseas wedding. A while later a bunch of us received Facebook messages saying they’d decided to scale down and we were uninvited. Confused Some other people that were also uninvited asked us if we would still give a gift. Umm, no 😂

manicmij · 09/11/2017 18:32

Been to a pub reception but it was organised in a private room for the meal,toasts etc. When all done guests were free to go into bar.very low key as second marriage for both. Really enjoyable. Certainly no dress, gift code.

pollymere · 09/11/2017 20:03

They said gifts a bonus so actually they just wanted you there. It's a shame it was so bad! I know someone who eloped and then had a party six months later. We ended up not going due to a date clash with our Wedding anniversary! I think quite a lot of people did think it was weird. We'd already sent a gift but it was the jokey sort. I think these dos seem better in the mind of the person who came up with it!

Grumblepants · 10/11/2017 08:47

Also thinking £50 is a lot for an 'evening' guest. Most of my very well off day guests in Surrey gave us £30. I thought that was pretty normal.

ilovesouthlondon · 10/11/2017 09:20

Sorry but I would have taken the £50 out of the card and brought them both a drink instead. Totally shameless behaviour and very granny on their part.

ilovesouthlondon · 10/11/2017 09:20

Grabby not granny lol

kmc1111 · 10/11/2017 09:32

Is it possible they didn't actually organise the invitations? Just thinking this is totally the type of thing my mother would have done if I'd eloped and planned a casual pub reception; offered to 'help' and tried to pretend it was something fancier and more wedding-y than it was.

CoraPirbright · 10/11/2017 10:12

What revolting behaviour! (The B&G, not you OP!!)

greendale17 · 10/11/2017 10:20

Scam is the word that comes to mind

morningconstitutional2017 · 10/11/2017 16:21

If they'd meant it to be properly formal surely it should have been in a proper function room? It sounds like they were doing it on the cheap but hoping for presents/cash to reimburse them for whatever they'd spent in the Caribbean. Yes it was cheeky and it sounds like they got away with it.

Abbylee · 10/11/2017 16:26

Awful horrible rude, ill-advised, rude, greedy, rude. Cheeky does not begin to describe it. Btw, 50 was too much. My rule is that if i invited you, i want your company. My husband's rule is give the cost of dinner. You over paid.

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