To ask for your Colic survival stories to read tonight as I rock and cry

[Mustardnowletsnotbesilly]

DD2 4.5weeks has colic, she isn't massively happy when she is ever awake but Screams for about 4 hours a night. She was a section birth but had sepsis at 2.5weeks so we have been back in hospital for 7 days.

Things I have tried - Infacol, Ranitidine, me giving up dairy, lots of winding.

HELP ME. Its hideous and my DH can't cope and actually at the momment can't help as he has singles on his face.

When did your babies colic end? What ended it?

My first child was a dream compared to this. I need guidance and hope.

TIA

Are you sure it’s not reflux? I would definitely remove all dairy from your diet. I also found excluding caffeine and gluten helped too. But eventually I had to put my baby onto neocate formula after 6 months of watching her suffer, alongside omeprazole and ranitidine. This really helped so much, I wish I’d done it sooner. Other things I found helped a bit were camomile tea, baths, keeping the baby upright for half an hour after feeding and a bit of cooled boiled water. On occasion I also gave calpol to help with the pain, which would seem to settle her a bit. If you have ranitidine prescribed already, then make sure you give it to your baby at least 15 mins before feeding. Also even if your baby falls asleep during feeds, make sure you wind them properly before putting them down to sleep. Good luck with your little one... I spent night after night with a screaming baby and it’s so hard.

Look up coliccalm! It saved our sanity. As soon as I gave it to my little one she trumped and burped like an absolute trooper, literally in seconds. It’s from the US but you can buy it online or on their Uk site do a store search x

Ps. We think she had silent reflux and if that’s the case it helps that too! It’s a bit weird it’s made of vegetable charcoal so is black but is totally safe.

1. An exercise ball. Saved my sanity with both babies. You can feed and comfort them all whilst sitting and bouncing, they loved the movement.

1. Try ringing Helios homeopaths, they’ll send a remedy specifically tailored to your baby’s type of colic. E.g. does your baby scrunch up or arch her back with colic? My first baby scrunched, but the second arches his back. I have a remedy for my son (currently 8 weeks), and am convinced it helps. I promise I don’t work for them! I’m also married to a total homeopathy sceptic so understand it’s not for everyone.

Good luck. There are hundreds and hundreds of mums and dads battling through the horrors of colic right this minute. It does end.

Just in time for the teething to begin...

Not managed to rtft but two of my kids had reflux and colic due to tongue ties - maybe worth a check? Cranial osteopathy helped with us but other than that we just rode it out.

Gripe water saved my sanity, but this was way back when it still contained alcohol. I know it seems like it will never end but it will,I also found a way of burping him which also helpef

Colief seemed to help a little. Started reducing around 10 weeks. Turns out DD had undiagnosed tongue tie that probably contributed to it. It was hell on earth though - and i got very very low.

My ds1 had colic and it was grim he literally turned 6 months old and it vanished stay strong “this too shall pass” is a good cliche

Yes, this was us. I am really sorry I hope you can get through it. Make sure you have good medical advice/check from someone you trust is being sensible and careful to be sure there is not an underlying condition that could be managed. I have read a paper somewhere which alluded to some causes of colic being undiagnosed CMPA which for bf babies meant mum going dairy free (resulting in improvement) or ff babies a dairy free formula.

For us the only survival was having read somewhere that it basically gets better around 3-4 months. And that for babies that have "colic" but no medical cause is found, this basically means "unsettled baby with inconsolable crying for no obvious reason that will get better on its own" and science doesn't have any answers (yet). Knowing that it is a huge burden on any parent - feeling desperate is not just us being particularly sensitive. Trying to anticipate when baby sleepy and pre empting it, with sling, car journey etc. Basically if she got over tired it was awful, cue hysterical screaming for hours and would not sleep. No2 was angelic in comparison - total angel baby.

Argh you do have my sympathy. I remember this hell only too well All three of mine were colicky for several hours each evening. It started at about three weeks and gradually improved from about 12 weeks. Unfortunately nothing would console them. We just had to ride it out. If I remember correctly it completely disappeared by 16 weeks.

Google fourth trimester theory. It makes a lot of sense to me and does explain why colic tends to disappear after the first 3 months.

Have you cut out soya as well as dairy? my dd is allergic to both n it is v. common to be allergic to both proteins. soya flour is in a lot of breads. Soya beans are in a lot of dairy alternatives xx soya lecithins usually ok xx

www.nhs.uk/conditions/reflux-in-babies/
www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/Could-my-child-be-intolerant-to-cows-milk.aspx?CategoryID=62&SubCategoryID=63

Have a look through the above links. If you have ruled these out - I suspect it is a waiting game until 12 weeks - so many things are just a distraction for you and your baby to get through the gruelling hours.

I think that I tried nearly everything on the list - except ear plugs - it was a way to pass the time and keep a bit of hope going with a new things each week - but ultimately fruitless.

I do think if there was a fix we would all know about it.
Just keep soothing yourself and your baby.
You have both had a tough time already in her early days - its a real shame that you are going through this - but the most important thing is that "colic" is 100% transient and harmless. Deep breathes for the next few weeks. Take care.

Sympathy. I second the bouncing on an exercise ball suggestion, which worked for us; also, once your DH's shingles have cleared up, do make sure he has the chance to do his share; two's much easier than one.

Positive story: my baby who had "colic", used to wake up through the night, so his first year and a half was really hard work, turned into the most delightful, reasonable toddler you could hope to meet and then into a lovely, super-healthy, well-balanced, clever child and teenager. (Who does still sometimes get gassy tummy aches, though: I wonder if there's an anatomical oddity that causes both these and "colic"?) The colic phase was the hardest part of parenting (up to age 14) by far. I wish I'd known. Don't think it's guaranteed that all colicky babies are like him, but here's hoping

However, one thing I liked to think which may help is this: even if you can't take the pain away, by being there, holding the baby, trying to comfort, you're sending a strong message that you care; maybe stronger than the one you'd be able to deliver if your baby's world were easy at this stage. We wish we can make the world smooth for them, but when we can't, at least we can show them we love them.

Mine had silent reflux. He was a super happy contented baby in the day, and turned into a screaming ball of pain and anger at night!

Was a nightmare. Took ages to realise that in the day he spent most of the time being held upright by me, and slept either on me very upright again, or in the car seat which held his head way higher than his tummy. I tried all the usual suggestions, like putting blocks under one end of the cot to tilt it etc. But the only thing that helped was holding him upright and letting him sleep on me. Which meantime a nervous wreck of me due to sleep deprivation!

A super kind mumsnetter gave me her baby hammock, which helped him sleep a bit longer. I remember the celebration when he slept more than 20mins in a row! At 4 months he definitely got better, but that meant sleeping for 45 mins in a row, and easier to settle after waking. Honestly, I have no idea how I coped looking back!

But, DS was an extreme case, and I really wish I hadn’t been fobbed off as a stupid first time mum who was exaggerating, as I bloody wasn’t and clearly something was wrong.

So, all I can say is, try everything, because some of this stuff might work, but it’s hard to tell what will or won’t until you’ve given it a good go. And be persistent at the docs, and don’t let them fob you off!

Also read up on silent reflux, many gps only know about normal reflux.

Finally, you will get through it. It will stop and you will be able to function again. Don’t be brave, get anyone and everyone to help you. Try and get people to take the baby for a couple of hours and put your head down instantly... I made the mistake of not wanting to miss the good bit of being a mum (the day time), and I could have made things easier for myself by snatching sleep when people came over. Expressing will help with that if you can?

I also made up a song to sing whilst walking up and down at silly o’clock juggling a crying baby.

“Who is red as a tomato, tomato, tomato, who is red as a tomato, X, x is.

Who is red as a fire truck, a fire truck, a fire truck..,” (this one in an American accent)

Who is red as a fire engine, fire engine, fire engine ....

And carry on, covering all items on God’s earth that are red until either me or the baby passed out

[sleep deprivation does weird things to your mind, clearly!]

Masses of sympathy here. DT1 had awful colic and I found the 'it goes at 12 weeks' no comfort at all. It stretches on before you so much.
I think we tried most of the things mentioned on here - nothing really helped. He was better when being carried around (tiger hold), but still not great.
It didn't bloody stop at 12 weeks either (it started to ease off at about 14), and I felt totally desperate at that point. But it DID stop eventually.

A couple of practical suggestions:
Give your eldest child a proper lunch so you can do an easy tea if the colic starts early.
Try to make your evening routine for your elder child as easy as possible for it you have to do it on your own. But...
Accept any help offered. My FIL would come over once a week for two hours in the evening and pace around with the colicky baby while I looked after the other kids. When he drives me mad nowadays (which he sometimes does!), I remind myself of that and feel more kindly towards him, it was a godsend.
Obviously, you're not going to be eating/sleeping etc as well as normal, but do what you have to do to function. For me, this meant sleeping in the spare room one night a week. I got woken up for feeds, but I didn't have that lying-awake-listening-to-the-baby bit.

And it will stop. Eventually. And you'll join the ranks of people who say that to other people even though you know how little it helped you at the time, because really it is the only thing to say.

Much much sympathy.
Ds2 cried and cried and cried at night. Ds1 was also being awfula nd was later diagnosed ASD. I went to Hv's and GP, repeatedly begging for help. All dismissive. I started to cry. GP reported me as an unfit parent. She insisted I needed anti depressants, but another GP disagreed.

Original GP later admitted that I had no other signs of depression: I was happy, in love with both ds's, going out with friends, attending all appointments, getting ds2 weighed every week and attending weekly PNG at GP surgery, going to work Christmas lunch. Its just, I was so sleep deprived and struggling.
I still don't think I was depressed.
I think there is a misunderstanding, and BIG problem in HCP's misunderstanding, of how awful colic, and the subsequent sleep deprivation, actually IS.

It is really really stressful, but the following worked for both my babies: start an early eve bedtime routine. Feed, half dose of colimil, bath, massage, second half dose, feed and wear in a wrap with lots of bouncy walking. On a really bad night, colief drops, and warm compress on little tummy. Sending hugs!!

Only read your posts op, so sorry if already said....have you tried wearing earplugs? The baby will cry no matter what, but do you have to hear it in full horrific volume?? Takes away that awful soul destroying edge and gives you a tiny level of relief from it.
I had a ‘bad baby’ who screamed A LOT. It is awful. Brutal in fact. Xx

Thank you for all your comments. It has started early today. 6 weeks tomorrow. I feel like such a shit mum not being able to settle her. My son was so easy compared to this. I feel a bit like she doesn't like us very much, which is stupid. I know it ends. I can't wait for her to be in her jumperoo winding herself!

You are not a shit mum! Colic is the worst.
DD drove me to hell and back with what turned out to be reflux but she screamed for hours every single night... I also felt like she didn't like us very much, which is silly like you say but when they do nothing but cry at you, what else are you supposed to think? All the tips on here are great, I've got nothing to add as DD wasn't really into routine at that age and what worked one night did absolutely nothing the next! I got through it with lots of music (any music, DD actually quite liked 90s hip hop!) and stuffing my face with cake to ease the pain.
Dd eventually started to chill out around 4-5 months, is now 19 months and most of the time she seems to like us!
Good luck tonight, you can do it, the jumparoo days aren't too far away!

Thanks Snack.

I used to start to get anxious at 4pm as I knew my daughter was about to go bananas for the next 6 hours on a good night. I found aiming for bath at 5pm and bed by 6pm worked best, as she was clearly so over tired from never sleeping. It rarely worked out that way but it’s the routine we have now, so it must have worked a bit. I listened to the same classical music album in the dark for days on end, as it was the only thing that would eventually calm things down and we’d usually fall asleep together. Good luck tonight. You’re doing so well.

My DS was so unsettled in the evening. Gave up lactose and it took about 10 days to see a noticeable improvement.