Who should have the day off?

[Needadvicetoleave]

More wwyd rather than AIBu.

DS (22 months) vomitted last night, all over everything. Only once, but definitely proper dick style. Ok in himself but has also got farty wet diarrhea.

DH and I are debating who has to take tomorrow off. We usually take it in turns/ share responsibility however:

Parent 1- tomorrow is the third week of a new job, though P1 hasn't actually been assigned any work. Work place seems reasonable and flexible. May be able to take it as annual leave but may have to take it unpaid. Annoying but affordable.

Parent 2- established in job, understanding manager. Has 2 meetings tomorrow, both important. One includes a client that has travelled 3+ hours to attend. Client is an individual, not a business, meeting has been scheduled for several weeks as client has had to take time off work. Likely to be taken as annual leave but missing meetings may mean it needs to unpaid carers leave.

So, does P1 or P2 take the day?

Absolutely no one else available.

I'd approach it slightly differently and work it out as though I was sole parent, how could I juggle everything? Could I set up Skype conference? For example.

New job - important to make a good impression if on probation, but children get sick.

Important meetings - important but children get sick.

Neither P1 or P2 to discuss it together & try and find a solution rather than argue over who should stay at home.

Slightly jaded, DH has an established important job that takes him away from home, my professional life has undoubtedly suffered due to always being the one able to look after the children when sick/drop everything in a crisis. It seemed logical at the time, and probably was, but I do remember one year when sickness was rife among the children & I missed a promotion- could have been unrelated of course, but I'd been the one taking the time off with little notice.

I think perhaps P1 would find it easier to stay home with the child but I have to add, please don't allow it to become habit. Although my personal circumstances are different & it would be difficult for DH to fly home, over time I did start to feel that my attempts at bettering myself career wise were less important.

So P1, but with caution.

Yes, I'm parent 2. Last time we took a day and ACH of a 2 day sickness. I took day 2, but only as is was DHs last day at his previous job (6 weeks ago due to annual leave).

He's normally happy to take days (as happy as anyone is) and will often take the day I can't do as his role isn't client facing and his deadlines flexible.

No one else can take my meeting, but due to its time half and half isn't an option. I totally understand why he's reluctant to take a day.

I can't say too much about the meeting due to my job, but think care/ health related. Rescheduling is possible but very difficult for them, telephone conference not possible.

We are very good at sharing usually- I'm determined to enhance and continue in my career as I really enjoy it, though DH is the higher earner and always will be.

If you took the last day off then it's your DH's turn.

So I'll join those who say it should be Parent 1 (DH).

Makes more sense to be P1 staying home.
But a half day swap is a great idea.

As well it would be good to try and have an alternative carer for those circumstances in the future. I know it's very easy for me to say that and hard to actually make happen.

When DS had chicken pox when he was younger I ended up asking our lovely neighbour (whose older boys had already had cp) if she could mind him. As a result she's ended up becoming a formal CM.

P1

P1

Rookiemere for none contagious emergency days off we have contingencies, but d&v is harder.

With the update it's still P1. Taking a day off so soon into a new job is less damaging career-wise than cancelling an important meeting, its raised eyebrows v actual pissed off client and possible complaint put against you.

P1.