Who should have the day off?

[Needadvicetoleave]

More wwyd rather than AIBu.

DS (22 months) vomitted last night, all over everything. Only once, but definitely proper dick style. Ok in himself but has also got farty wet diarrhea.

DH and I are debating who has to take tomorrow off. We usually take it in turns/ share responsibility however:

Parent 1- tomorrow is the third week of a new job, though P1 hasn't actually been assigned any work. Work place seems reasonable and flexible. May be able to take it as annual leave but may have to take it unpaid. Annoying but affordable.

Parent 2- established in job, understanding manager. Has 2 meetings tomorrow, both important. One includes a client that has travelled 3+ hours to attend. Client is an individual, not a business, meeting has been scheduled for several weeks as client has had to take time off work. Likely to be taken as annual leave but missing meetings may mean it needs to unpaid carers leave.

So, does P1 or P2 take the day?

Absolutely no one else available.

Ouch. Tough one. I would not want to call in sick (even for a child) that soon into a new job, and nor would I want to let the client down at such short notice.

I really don't know.

p1

If it wasn't for the client travelling I'd have said P2 should (new job of P1), but it wouldn't be fair on that client so P1 should this time (unless they can share it.

Definitely P1 as parent 2 would be letting someone down if they weren't there. Weeks of waiting and a three hour drive with a no show would piss them off big time.

If the usual agreement is to take turns, it should be whoever's turn is next. Otherwise you are going to get into the same argument every single time.

You are definitely parent 2 aren't you!
Why is P1 reluctant to take the time off? At least it will only be 1 day you have to cover between you, not 2.
I would definitely say P1 needs to take the day off this time but next time P2 has to, no matter what meetings etc they have set up

P1

Parent 1

Why is P1 reluctant to take the time off?

That is a silly question. Nobody likes to miss a day when just starting a job.

Parent 2.
Parent 1 is only 3 weeks into a new job so it's impossible to tell how understanding and flexible they will be. You may know their policies but since you haven't had to take a day off yet, you can't know that it won't be looked on unfavourably.

P1 is clearly reluctant because they’re in the third week of a new job. I’m about six weeks into a new job and would be really worried about it too.

P1 agrees to do it this time on the clear understanding that no matter what meetings etc are scheduled, its P2's turn next time. If you dont then you end up with a "my job is more important than yours" situation and it being taken for granted that P1 will always take time off.

OP (aka P2) doesn’t say whether anyone else could cover the client meeting or if it could be rescheduled. Presumably the client hasn’t started driving yet. I think it’s really dodgy to take a day off for any reason during the first few weeks or even months of a new job.

Is there any colleague in P2's workplace that could possibly step in and conduct the meetings to a reasonable standard? Is voice conferencing from home a possibility? (I'm assuming it's P2's turn to take the day.)

If the answer to the above is no, and there are no alternative childcare provisions, then I think P1 has to take one for the team for the sake of combined household career stability.

Parent 1 should take the day off, assuming that no important meetings are planned. Not ideal so soon after starting a new job, but shit happens. Parent 2 would be letting down the client.

If I was the client who has travelled 3.5 hours for a meeting to find the host was at home (Even for a poorly child) I'd be pretty peed off.
Can you stop them from coming, if not you have to go in.

Emergency childcare from agency? Or parent 1 if not

P1

P2 really should not take the day off, P1 very much should.

I think in this situation P1 takes the day off, but P2 definitely owes them a favour and must do the next time it happens.

I'd be worried if I took a day off that soon into a new job. If P2 has an understanding boss I'd have a word with them, see if anyone could cover the meetings.

lion I agree. Even if I found out before I drove there I'd be annoyed about clearing my diary to have the meeting cancelled at short notice.

Parent 1.

OP?

Parent 1, although if P2 is the mother I wouldn’t be surprised if it ended up being her