To spend £100 on a 1st birthday cake?

[FannyTheFlamingo]

DD is almost 1 and we're having a small family get together to celebrate. I've seen a couple of beautiful cakes and would like to have one made, but it costs around £100. DP says this is ridiculous and wants me to get a cheap(er), supermarket cake. I'm so excited for her 1st birthday and just wanted a special, unique cake. I know she won't remember, but she'll see the pictures one day.

For info, we can afford it, so it's not a budget issue. The small party isn't really costing us anything as it's at home with a bit of party food and some balloons. If I had the time and the skill I'd love to be able to make my own, but it would be a disaster!

FWIW, DP thinks a family party is a silly idea and I should have a get together with mums and babies from the baby groups I go to, which I've tried to explain is a silly idea because I only talk to a couple of the mums, so it would just be awkward!

You are being entirely reasonable and should probably go for the next most expensive one.
Not that I'm a cake maker or anything, oh no, not me!

If you want the cake, buy the cake! It's a special occasion for you (a year of being a mum) and it's your only large expense for the party. Take a few photos to show her when she's a little older; she'll like that!

Supermarket cakes don't benefit small businesses, and are full of preservatives.

I do thinknit is think it is a bit mad. Surely that would be quite a big cake for you all to get through? I think half way would still get something special.

If it's coming out the family pot then yes yabu to do it without your DH agreeing, but if you'll be spending it out of your own money then he can't really complain

But seriously, if you post a picture I can tell you if you're getting value for money. And ask for a taste. Don't ever buy a cake from a maker who won't give you a sample.

1st birthday is for the parents, the grannies and other family to celebrate a year wirh this new family member. .

I don't think £100 for a cake is unreasonable of you want it and will make nice pictures. Def a celebration with the family rather than baby mum's is the norm.

It may be unreasonable to buy the cake from family money if dh doesn't agree. There must be some middle ground between your cake and supermarket one.

To me it is too much but I am more of a fan of homemade cakes and always make them myself. My children could not care less what cake they had when they were 1!

It is funny how fancy cakes are such a big thing, yet there is a big nostalgia for Colin Caterpillar from our own childhoods.

I would, it will make you happy and your guests will enjoy it.

Maybe time to compromise if your dh doesn't like the idea of a family party or the cake. Sounds like he hasn't really bought into having a 1st birthday party anyway and to a certain extent I agree with him - well certainly in terms of splashing money on it.

The party is for family and friends as almost all first birthday parties are.
So if you say 100.00 for a cake for a family party then I don't think it's excessive. You wouldn't think twice on paying that for wine or beers. A first child and the first year is a massive life change. You want a hundred pound cake, you can afford it, you enjoy it OP.

Just make a cake. It will taste far nicer.

Yanbu. Get recommendations for someone good. Cakes can be expensive, I make them and if it's only 1 tier with decorations would charge about £50. For £100 depending on decorations could do a 2 tier at least. A lot of it is ingredients, and boards etc and then the time involved. My cake sites on FB see full of people trying to fix cakes for people because the person said they were too expensive and went for something cheaper. However it all depends where in the country you are. What would you be getting for £100?

@SendintheArdwolves I think this is probably my underlying issue and perhaps why I need a bit of perspective about this bloody cake! I couldn't think of anything worse than a get together with a load of mums who I don't know or socialise with and a load of babies who aren't my DD's friends, they're just babies at a group! How silly of me to think it would be lovely to have a family party with people who actually love DD . I have a DP issue, not a cake issue! 😂

£100 is a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a 1st birthday cake, sorry. I had not long gone back to work when DS turned 1 and I spent an evening making him a not especially beautiful but delicious birthday cake covered in buttercream icing and Smarties, yum, much nicer than that horrible fondant icing that most bought cakes are covered in.

As a middle ground have a look at the made to order supermarket cakes - we ordered a cake from Waitrose for DS’s christening which was beautifully decorated, personalised with his name etc, and it cost about £40. And actually tasted pretty good too.

Can you not compromise and get a mid-priced cake? Most bakers would be able to do you a nicely designed, single tiered cake, for about £50?

I think a family party at home is perfect for a first birthday, that’s what we did and it was lovely. You already spend time at the toddler groups playing with the other children, and they don’t have a clue at that age so it’s nice for family to enjoy the special occasion. There’s plenty of time for parties with friends when they’re older.
My parents made the first birthday cake, but if I had really wanted an expensive one and knew it would be nice, I probably would have spent that.

@confusedlittleone this is a bit of a grey area...essentially we consider all our money as our money jointly, so 'we' pay for everything regardless of which bank account it comes out of. I don't tell DP if I go out and buy a pair of shoes for myself for £100 and DP doesn't tell me. He also has other DC and regularly spends a lot of money on them without consulting me, which I would never have a problem with!

Be careful!

We spent £80 on an amazing baby cookie monster wearing a nappy cake. Yes it was for us. I wanted to make a fuss for the first birthday and we are a family of grubber who love cake. It was red velvet and amazing. If you can afford it, do it.

And a family party sounds perfect, strange that your DP doesn't seem to be on board. If you are in the West of Scotland I can make you a cake and I promise you it won't look like the picture I put on!

I almost spent £120 on a cake for DDs first birthday, but thought better of it DP said no. Got a big cake from M&S and had £60 worth of personalised cupcakes from the cake maker instead. We also had other nibbles, finger sandwiches and scones with jam and clotted cream. I'm ok at baking but I'm so sleep deprived I couldn't muster the energy to make a cake myself. Dd very much enjoyed smushing the cupcakes all over her face, and we had leftovers for a few days which was nice as they don't go stale like a big cake. We just had a family party, with our friends who have 2 sisters she plays with regularly, it was nice and low key. I don't do baby groups as I can't stand the competitive baby chat and sneers because I'm a young mum, so that was never an option for us, but it sounds nightmarish. The first birthday is as much for the parents as the baby, so do what you want OP, your baby won't remember but you will and if buying a cake means less stress for you, go for it.

Other than a wedding cake I would never spend that much. Especially as it is for someone who will not understand its value.

If you can afford it then go for it. 1st birthdays are really about the parents and if you get joy from a nice cake then that’s not wrong. A hand made fresh cake from a proper cake maker will look good but also taste much nicer than a supermarket cake that will be full of preservatives.

I wouldn't, you've no guarantee that it will taste nice. I recently had some wedding cake which tasted foul and I'm sure it cost way more than £100. Go somewhere like M&S and Waitrose and you can get a lovely cake for half that if not more.

*grubbers