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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think obesity is an eating disorder? *POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING*

182 replies

pinkliquorice · 04/11/2017 22:45

I don't want this to be triggering or offensive in anyway. If you are stuggleing with your weight or an eating disorder and are likely to be triggered by these discussions please dont read on.

Do you consider obesity to be an eating disorder in the same way as anorexia for example? AIBU to suggest this? Me and my partner have been discussing it all evening

Extra info:
(Being out of the healthy BMI range on either sides is obviously really dangerous and can have numerous negative effects on health and can even result in death.
But why as a society do we view being dangerously overweight any different to being dangerously underweight?
I have struggled with anorexia and bulimia on and off since I was 13 and when I have been severly underweight I have been given support and sympathy not judgement and that is the only reason why I am now better.
When my weight has fallen below a certain mark I have been hospitalised and given treatment to help me return to a healthy BMI, but for someone over the healthy BMI range they are not given the same treatment.
Body positivity is extremely important to me, and everyone no matter their weight deserves to be happy and respected but is there not an opposite to the Pro-Ana movement?
If someone commented on me being underweight and told me I needed to eat, I would go into panic and restict even more as controlling and reducing my weight and food consumption was my comfort, I was addicted to not eating and that took my pain away.
Surely obesity is the exact opposite of this, is it not the case that often when someone is overweight, they eat for comfort and if someone tells them they are overweight and they need to eat less that they eat more to take the pain away.)

Again, I know this is a really sensitive subject and I dont want to upset or cause offence to anyone.

OP posts:
potatoscowls · 05/11/2017 01:03

I agree. I was misdiagnosed as anorexic due to low bmi and treated horrifically as a result. I was perceived as ill.
Now i do have actual eating problems and am (i presume - TW would rather die than know how much i weigh at present :S ) a "healthy" BMW (BMI is bollocks btw). People would assume i'm fine but i feel physically unwell from the constant binge eating and my body is uncomfortable for me to live in.

The recent louis theroux doc bothered me a little. It was the usual skinny porn. Most people are still surprised to learn that many, if not most, people with an eating disorder are not noticeably underweight.

HelenaDove · 05/11/2017 01:03

Well done Rainbows btw Thanks

potatoscowls · 05/11/2017 01:04

So i am a "healthy" weight BECAUSE i have an eating problem. If i just ate sensibly i would be underweight.

JonSnowsWife · 05/11/2017 01:07

Bonelessbanquet that must have been terrifying. Flowers

HelenaDove · 05/11/2017 01:08

Boneless Thanks

potatoscowls · 05/11/2017 01:18

Biscuit for anyone who thinks being overweight/overeating is a sign of moral inferiority. I have several neurological problems which result in me having no impulse control and compulsive behaviour. That doesn't stop me being a fucking nice, generous, kind person.

OrchidDelight · 05/11/2017 01:21

have long long long been puzzled at how someoke with anorexia could be sectioned and treated against their will however someome who is so large they can't mobilise and are at extremely high risk of stroke/heart attack would not be. I also don't understand how someone's capacity is questioned when they are starving themselves to death but not when someone is eating themself to death.

Surely the only good reason for this is that treating everyone who was obese would be unaffordable as there are so many obese people?

Also, for posters talking about being obese, keep in mind that an average height female of dress size 14 could be classed as obese. I was obese with a 37 inch bust and 39 inch hips, which is not especially massive.

BakedBeans47 · 05/11/2017 01:23

As a morbidly obese person, I agree binge eating is an eating disorder. Not as life threatening or serious in the immediate term as anorexia, which I understand to be an extremely serious illness x Flowers

HelenaDove · 05/11/2017 01:26

My bust is 32 I take an 18 blouse in Peacocks though due to the HH. But have 12 and 14 t shirts and dresses.

Couldnt give a fuck what ppl class me as. im not a size 28 anymore but the thing is i dont look down on ppl who are.

BakedBeans47 · 05/11/2017 01:31

I think people who haven’t struggled with binge eating/morbid obesity don’t know just what it’s like to do so. And I am glad you don’t, as this life is crap!

Every time I shovel crap into my gob I know I shouldn’t and that it’s contributing to killing me. I know I should “eat less, move more”, I’m fat, not stupid. Same as I know my weight is a problem and could kill me as I have (a) a mirror and (b) a brain.

The junkie comparison is valid, to a point. The difference being we all need food to survive, when we don’t need drugs
X

HelenaDove · 05/11/2017 01:33

And thats why its harder Beans

BakedBeans47 · 05/11/2017 01:39

I’m not saying it’s harder but some people trying to understand what it’s like to be morbidly obese and a binge eater wouldn’t go amiss

I was a healthy weight for all my life til my late 20s. I am now in my 40s and morbidly obese. I wish I knew what triggered the compulsion to overeat so I could fix it

HelenaDove · 05/11/2017 01:49

Beans im afraid some ppl dont want to understand.

I was the other way around i was obese in my 20s and lost the weight at 29/30

just5morepeas · 05/11/2017 01:52

It can be caused by an eating disorder but not in all cases no.

Someone can easily become obese simply by putting on half a stone a year for example but never loosing any of it. The weight creeps up and you're soon in the obese bmi category, but it doesn't mean you have an eating disorder.

potatoscowls · 05/11/2017 01:58

Im making a meal plan for the millionth time, which starts tomorrow (or today oops it's nearly 2am) wish me luck Star

makes thread all about her sorry Blush

HelenaDove · 05/11/2017 02:00

potato you have nothing to apologise for.

pinkliquorice · 05/11/2017 07:56

I think the man difference I can see is that someone with an eating disorder like anorexia often feels proud and achivement for eating less and for their weight dropping.
Whereas a lot of overweight people will feel guilt and shame that they have overeaten or that their weight it increasing.
This is societys doing and the result of fat shaming, but I think is worsening both problems.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 05/11/2017 08:11

I think the man difference I can see is that someone with an eating disorder like anorexia often feels proud and achivement for eating less and for their weight dropping.

But they can’t see that they’ve lost weight. They hate themselves and how they look. They feel guilty for eating anything at all.

DayKay · 05/11/2017 08:12

I do think it’s related to a food addiction. For myself, it’s wheat (and other grains to an extent) I’m addicted to it and it makes me eat compulsively.
When I manage to give it up, everything is so clear. ‘Wow, this is easy, I’m not addicted anymore. I can eat healthily. I’m losing weight!’
Then it takes one taste again and I’m craving it like mad.
I’m wondering how many people would still be obese if our reliance on grains (particularly wheat) was eliminated.

pinkliquorice · 05/11/2017 08:19

@PurpleDaisies

As well yes, but definitely the o lot time I felt proud or happy with myself is when I saw the number on the scale reach my low goal.
People who are overweight mostly with have lower target weight also, very few aim and hope to gain weight.

OP posts:
LemonShark · 05/11/2017 08:26

Yanbu. I feel the whole pro obesity acceptance movement is as harmful as the pro ana stuff.

PostNotInHaste · 05/11/2017 08:26

It's obviously a huge subject but obviously a complex one or we wouldn't be at the situation we're at in this country. I had a conversation with a friend I was at school with who has always been thin. Years ago I lost a fair bit of weight and got down to the same size as her and she had a word and said she was worried. I remember saying I was the same weight as her and she pointed out I was a much larger frame and at 5ft 7 to be fitting into clothes that my tiny at the time 5ft 2 in the Mother wore in the 60's wore probably wasn't actually a good thing.

Looking back I was in dangerous territory and was 5lbs off being underweight. I had an abusive arsehole of a boyfriend and my Mum was very controlling I realise now and I think she was right to speak up. After a bit I went the other way and this time last year I was at my GP with near constant gallbladder pain but not eligible to see a consultant as with a BMI of 43 I was morbidly obese . I've lost a lot of weight now and am delighted to be overweight at the moment and this time next year I'll be a healthy weight. Said to friend how much I lost but told her to keep it to herself as I tell most people I've lost half of what I have lost as I've found from experience people can go a bit weird about it . She looked confused at first then said she got it as have a lot of people saying she is too thin and has an eating disorder.

I think there is a big difference between someone like me and some others who are obese and I think I definitely had disordered eating and used to binge . My Mother being alive resulted in me having a low level of nearly constant anxiety that I didn't realise existed until she died last year. DH and I were having a coffee recently . He had a normal one and I had a skimmed milk one. Looked up the calories for both and then some others.

We worked out that if someone had medium Costa Latte (207 cals) and a 175ml glass of red wine (133 cal) so 340 cals total and did this everyday for a year, not allowing for them in their daily calorie intake then that would be surplus calories leading to a potential gain of 2.5 stone in a year and enough to take a 5ft 6 woman from top end of normal bmi just into the obese range. Quite a overnight thought and with things so hectic for a lot of people it's easy to see how it can gradually happen.

There was no help available for me to lose weight. GP said come back when I lost 6kg and that was it so I went off and decided I had to crack it once and for all. I used to work in research so decided I would treat this as I would another medical condition so did some research. I bought a Fitbit and found that I responded well to being able to see my calorie expenditure as I could then balance it against my intake, I use Nutracheck which I find helpful as it suggests small, medium and large portion sizes and I have been reeducating myself and I have introduced more exercise as was shocked to find that on a lazy weekend day I was perfectly capable of only clocking up 1500 steps.

I look as logging and exercise as a medical thing, similar to what DH has to do with carb counting to control the T1 diabetes he had since childhood, I'm done with WW, SW etc and can see that I spent years either being on or off a diet which led to feelings of deprivation and guilt when I did it 'wrong' which led to binging and a viscous circle, I eat anything I want know working in the principle of about 80% nutritious foods and 20% treats in general. Some days I eat more than I burn but that's ok, I just adjust other days to compensate.

Assumably someone who stays a healthy weight does this without thinking about it, I don't think I will ever be able to do this so I will log calories for the rest of my life, it only takes a few minutes a day. I'm down 6 stone with just under 2 to go which I want to get sorted next year as am 48 and perimenopausal so want to get my weight stable before menopause. I know the biggest challenge will be maintainance and am pleased to have managed my first ever month of maintaining in October, having spoke to my friends of a normal weight I realise that they do work at keeping their weight down.

This is quite long, apologies. I guess what I am saying is that obesity can be a symptom of disordered thinking but it isn't the case for everyone. I think big portion sizes and alcohol consumption have become normalised in our society. And I do think we have lost sight of what a healthy weight looks like. I have been very clear with people who started the 'you don't want to lose much more' thing that I was at that point clinically obese and maybe they were being polite but they did a very convincing job of acting genuinely shocked.

What's the answer to all this? Not a clue but I hope we as a society can find one. I don't feel very optimistic about that though. Apologies for the length of the post, it's something quite close to my heart for obvious reasons at the moment.

NotThereEileen · 05/11/2017 08:33

Yes it's any eating disorder. One with lower recovery rates and arguably a higher mortality rate than anorexia. 95% of people will regain all weight lost in 1-5 years. The the majority of cases gain more weight than was lost.
The hormonal changes associated with obesity push you to keep the weight, and to eat the refined carbs as we evolved in a time of scarcity of this energy source.
Part of those changes actually stop you burning calories as efficiently and absorb more calories from food, typically you absorb ~75% of the available calories. If you have lost weight it is more.
Those who argue it is 'eat less move more' alone are ignorant, stupid or deliberately goading.

phoenix1973 · 05/11/2017 08:35

Im a chronic over eater and i know its not normal
I know its bad for my health
Its definitely a mental illness like a type of self harming.

JustDanceAddict · 05/11/2017 08:37

I think it’s about the associated mental health of the person too. Anorexia is s mental illness really which has physical symptoms as the sufferer controls what they eat. People are obese for all sorts of reasons, but I think many people have issues around food & weight and they’re not necessarily obese or anorexic.

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