To sue the NHS over my birthing experience

[boomitscountginula]

Now before I get flamed to death. I do appreciate my birth story isn't as bad as some but, I now refuse to have another baby unless I can get assurances that this won't happen again, and the only way I can do so is to go private, I think.? It was traumatic to me.

I had a quite easy birth, in terms of how long it took "officially" but I wasn't listened to and have a couple of long lasting injuries I think could of been prevented if they believed I was in labour to begin with.

My birth story: I woke up the day after my due day and had lost my plug over night. Went for a stretch and sweep at lunch, (planned as it was my first) with my midwife said I was 3cm already.

Fabulous, no pain at the minute, now 3cm easy birth.. so I thought.

Went home had a nap, woke up with contractions near tea time. By 9pm they where regularly 6 minutes apart so rang the maternity ward, had a phone assessment and went in.

Got into maternity triage, in absolute agony, had a physical exam and the triage said:

"Your only 3 cm, you need to come home and come back."

I said well as you can see, I am contacting every 6 minutes and less now, the pain is overwhelming and I feel like I need to push.

She tutted and said in all her experience she had never been wrong and I had hours to go, so needed to go home.

I was in bits at this news and crumbled. I never wanted an epidural and chose pethidine (sic) and gas and air. So agreed I would go home but I needed some kind of pain killer, that I could have with my chosen birth plan. I really put my foot down and said I will go home but only if I can get a pain killer stronger that the 2 paracetamol I had taken already.

She said she would find a doctor, but never came back.

Meanwhile I then go into the advanced stages of Labour. Bare in mind I had two paracetamol and my waters haven't broken. It's like trying to birth a gym ball.

I am literally screaming in pain in a side room in maternity triage, pushing and effectively giving birth myself. My partner and my mum (both birth partners) took it in turns to find anyone. But no one came for 45 minutes.

After 45 minutes a junior midwife came in and said "oh my god your in labour".

Me and her literally ran to the deliver ward, where I was given gas and air.

I took a massive gulp of it, and was told off, because I should only take it when I am in pain and contracting..... never mind the two hours I have just been in hospital alone labouring, without a monitor on my baby or any pain relief.

I am still not hooked up to monitor, the only medical intervention is gas and air right now. My waters still haven't broken, 4 minutes later I was given the pethidine. 2 minutes after that I crown, baby in sack. Midwife broke the waters and my son was born. My official record shows that I was in labour for 9 minutes.

I had pain relief 4 minutes into my 9 minute birth and at no point was I on any kind of contraction monitoring machine. Nothing monitoring baby's heartbeat etc etc. I might as well have birthed in the woods.

I also split my right labia in two during the birth. The midwife didn't want to stitch it because it wasn't that bad.. yet I couldn't pee, unless in the bath for 3 weeks, and now that side is an inch longer than the other. Causing me, well you can imagine.

Start to finish I was treated like dirt, I was left labouring in a room alone, I was belittled and injured without proper treatment. And now I am afraid to be pregnant again.

I love the NHS, but they have let me down, massively. I am permanently injured (labia) and mentally scarred. But hate the idea of sueing the NHS on a theoretical level...

You can't blame the NHS for the pattern of your labour. That comes from your own body.

If you are 3cm/6mins, you will be discouraged from pushing.

My notes say I was in advanced labour for 9 minutes. I slept on the delivery ward as it was quiet.

After my bath post birth (in a a bathroom that looked like a murder scene, I actually just pretended to take one)

I needed a wee, it was about 1am and the delivery suite was empty, my room was opposite the midwife station, I popped my head out and the staff behind the desk gave me a round of applause for giving birth "so quickly".

I was not fucking impressed.

PurplePillowCase no mention of baby lying OP (which considering most go to OA before second stage anyway doesn't matter!) and the guidance is still 4cm. Not giving painkillers is shit but it's not going to have caused OP's injury so she can't sue and say that her labial injury is due to that and get a payout.

Op is it the pain relief aspect of it and not being believed when you explained how much pain you were in. That's what it was for me, I wasn't planning on having a baby with no pain relief, I was begging them for help as it felt like my back was breaking and my pelvis was about to snap. Instead I got told to go home (eyeroll). Then I had the partner saying well she said your not in labour what are you going to do when you are if you can't take the pain now (I was in the late stages of labour)

Dd 2 was the right way, I had a planned induction with access to any pain relief I could have, DC1 birth was totally out of control it was horrible but Dc2 I felt jn control. The difference in pain between 2 b2bs and a baby the right way round was huge. But dc3 was b2b with pain relief so it was a lot better.

I sometimes think that these things are more or less traumatic depending on how we approach them! With my first I went into labour went into hospital when my contractions were every 10 minutes and reducing by a minute every few minutes. When I got there the midwives were dismissive and said as it was my first it would be hours yet. A few minutes later I told my then h that I needed to push, he went to tell the midwifes and they said that I wouldn't be ready and they would come and see me in a few minutes. When they came in the baby was crowning and I gave birth a few minutes later literally 3 pushes! The midwives had nothing ready, had to go and steal all of the birthing stuff from the lady in the next room as they were convinced they were right and I had hours! I only had Entenox for pain relief and that was only for the delivery nothing at all up to then not even paracetamol. I was simply glad it was over and that my baby was delivered safe and well. I might as well have stayed at home for all the help they gave me but I had a healthy baby and was ok despite it being traumatic. You have to bear in mind that people died in labour regularly until this last century and the midwives aren't mind readers. I'm sure they do the best that they can in the circumstances. Suing the NHS just reduces the money available to treat other people! I went on to have another dc and was much more bolshi telling the midwives how I wanted to give birth and they would have had to fight me to get the entenox off me when I was delivering my second 😂😂

My midwife didn't believe I was in labour-sounds similar to you. I said I was going to throw myself out of the window if they didn't give me pain relief & after that, I had some. With no monitoring of baby, despite me asking, I nearly gave birth to dd den the loo-I kid you not! Midwife was so surprised & I officially delivered in 2 minutes. As my 1st child was emergency cescarian I thought they would monitor. All was well.
Perhaps have some therapy for the trauma rather than sue the nhs. Children are such a blessing however they chose to arrive. My 3rd child's birth went well!

This type of treatment of mothers by NHS staff is too common. I had an awful experience caused by some very nasty and unprofessional midwives. I was in shock for weeks. It’s not ok and you shouldn’t be “grateful”. It’s simply not good enough.

Sadly it’s a familiar story.

I was told to stay at home by the hospital in similar circumstances. I rang back to say I was bleeding heavily and was told it was just the plug. It wasn’t.

I went in anyway, contractions close together, fully dilated, bleeding heavily and crowning. DDs heart rate dropped. She was delivered very quickly. I had a third degree tear and blood transfusion, and to make matters worse they royally fucked up my stitches. Worse than labour pain and they had to be redone. I passed out and DP and DM spent hours with my baby before I did.

It put me off having another baby for ten years. Sadly at that point we had secondary infertility so now unable to have another child without IVF.

I never complained but I wish I had.

@redastherose im not convinced the nhs midwives are all so cute and innocent as they make out. There are way too many incidents of 'oh we didn't realise well you're 3 minutes away now no time for pain relief oops crack on and push' sorry no. I don't buy it.

Oh FFS - stop accepting shit NHS care everyone!! Just stop it. We pay for this care, we deserve better.

Yes they may have be short staffed but if the midwife had actually listened to her patient this wouldn’t be an issue and listening isn’t that complex a task.

The midwives when I gave birth were amazing but one was an arsehole. Same job, same conditions, same NHS. Some NHS staff are not caring or competent. Some are arseholes.

No, you don’t just have to suck it up - yes your child is here and healthy but that doesn’t mean you have to blindly accept any old shit that got your baby here.

Complain - complain complain complain. I am sick to death of this idolisation of the NHS and their staff. If we don’t complain it won’t get better. And some people are too vulnerable and damaged to be able to fight. If you can fight, please do.

Ps. I am NHS staff.

I'm sorry you had a bad time giving birth OP. My NHS experience with my first was a complete omnishambles too. The fact of the matter is that suing the NHS isn't going to help, and will only serve to squeeze more money out of the system, leaving an even worse service for all coming after you. You might be best to just write a full letter of complaint stressing your concerns and that you don't want others to suffer the mistakes they made with you. At least then you will have the comfort of having done something to put your mind at rest a bit, without becoming grabby about it. BTW, why on earth did you agree to a sweep? There is a tonne of research our there to support argument that when they artificially hurry things along like that, it all goes pear shaped. I hope you get over this with time. I'm sure if you had another it would be more straightforward, but remember its absolute bloody agony whatever. I'm also really sorry you had PND but you don't know that this was a result of your birthing experience so you can't sue on the basis of that.

"I sometimes think that these things are more or less traumatic depending on how we approach them! "

Trauma is not something determined by how you decide to approach something. Its a physical response - primarily driven by how your nervous system responds. So don't feel too smug that your such a trooper - your body just didn't happen to respond in a way which embedded a trauma response.

DD2 nearly died because of a junior doctor not realising how ill she was in spite of the MW telling him. She is alive and well. DD1 and DD2 got brought to ITU to say goodbye to me after DSs birth, because they did not accept he was a big baby and I tried to give birth to him and could not. Ended up with an emergency CS under GA, lost far too much blood, he was 10lb 5ozs. No way could I have pushed him out. I am alive and well now, as is DS (apart from a permanent problem that he may sue over, due to having to have to have repeated surgeries).

I have not sued.

I really do not think I could justify suing over what happened to you. I know it was not great, but it was not the worst..

Your birth sounds almost identical to my first. Only I ended up in theatre to repair the tear. I really cannot see why you're raging as you are. Labour is painful and unpredictable, vaginas are injured, the nhs is on its arse and midwives aren't always there to wipe you brow. Get counselling and vent on here but don't waste the nhs' time with a baseless complaint.

(Sorry - my slightly mistimed post seemed like I was replying to the last few posters, I wasn’t and I’m so sorry for your horrible experiences. I was replying to those who have a “don’t ever criticise the NHS, they are all angels, just get what you are given” attitude

You can't blame the NHS for the pattern of your labour. That comes from your own body.

If you are 3cm/6mins, you will be discouraged from pushing.

I think the issue here is that the midwife wouldn't check again despite OP asking to be triaged again. Instead she tutted and said she was never wrong! The midwife should have checked again. It wouldn't have taken long. She didn't. That's the problem.

Honestly I am incredulous sometimes of what is perceived as 'trauma'. That word is useless too lightly these days. You had a 'natural' delivery OP. The midwives checked you and followed procedure. That you progressed so quickly was unexpected but I don't see any negligence.

It certainly warrants an official complaint (although 4 years is a long time to wait to do that) and debrief but even if you were within the time limit to sue, that would be a complete waste of resources.

sourpatchkid - I completely agree

OP postnatal listening services don’t have a time limit on complaints, at my Trust people have gone back 5 years later to get answers. They allow this because so few women feel able to talk about their experience. Usually because others minimise it with crap like “as long as baby is fine that’s what matters”.

sourpatchkid I think I love you- best comment so far!

This type of treatment of mothers by NHS staff is too common. I had an awful experience caused by some very nasty and unprofessional midwives. I was in shock for weeks. It’s not ok and you shouldn’t be “grateful”. It’s simply not good enough

This. Women aren’t listened to, they aren’t believed and are brushed off as being drama queens. A great deal of misogyny lies behind it, no other service would tolerate such poor care for any other type of patient.

Just to say OP, speaking for myself and all my friends who have had 2nd babies (Most of us having pretty horrible 1st births) we've all had much better care the second time round. We've been trusted to know our bodies a bit more and felt like a participant in the birth rather than something being done 'to' us. I hope you can have another baby if that's what you want.

It's the "women have been doing this since time began" bullshit attitude that pisses me off. Some people seems to think that means as women you deserve to suffer. A lot of midwives don't take your pain seriously during labour. You have to be demanding in some cases just to get pain relief.

OP, why have you left it 4 years?

Honestly I am incredulous sometimes of what is perceived as 'trauma'. That word is useless too lightly these days. You had a 'natural' delivery OP. The midwives checked you and followed procedure. That you progressed so quickly was unexpected but I don't see any negligence.

Who are you to decide what constitutes trauma for another person? A woman can have a vaginal birth but loose so much blood in the process she needs a blood transfusion. Would you consider that a normal delivery too? The OP has been left with lasting damage to her labia which I'm sure is painful. I know because my stitch up wasn't done well and I've been left with pain there even two years on. If that's not trauma I don't know what is!

Have you read all posts from OP? Perhaps you should. She said that she asked for another triage as she was feeling the urge to push but instead was greeted with a tut and 'Im never wrong' by the midwife. If that ain't negligent I don't know what is!