To sue the NHS over my birthing experience

[boomitscountginula]

Now before I get flamed to death. I do appreciate my birth story isn't as bad as some but, I now refuse to have another baby unless I can get assurances that this won't happen again, and the only way I can do so is to go private, I think.? It was traumatic to me.

I had a quite easy birth, in terms of how long it took "officially" but I wasn't listened to and have a couple of long lasting injuries I think could of been prevented if they believed I was in labour to begin with.

My birth story: I woke up the day after my due day and had lost my plug over night. Went for a stretch and sweep at lunch, (planned as it was my first) with my midwife said I was 3cm already.

Fabulous, no pain at the minute, now 3cm easy birth.. so I thought.

Went home had a nap, woke up with contractions near tea time. By 9pm they where regularly 6 minutes apart so rang the maternity ward, had a phone assessment and went in.

Got into maternity triage, in absolute agony, had a physical exam and the triage said:

"Your only 3 cm, you need to come home and come back."

I said well as you can see, I am contacting every 6 minutes and less now, the pain is overwhelming and I feel like I need to push.

She tutted and said in all her experience she had never been wrong and I had hours to go, so needed to go home.

I was in bits at this news and crumbled. I never wanted an epidural and chose pethidine (sic) and gas and air. So agreed I would go home but I needed some kind of pain killer, that I could have with my chosen birth plan. I really put my foot down and said I will go home but only if I can get a pain killer stronger that the 2 paracetamol I had taken already.

She said she would find a doctor, but never came back.

Meanwhile I then go into the advanced stages of Labour. Bare in mind I had two paracetamol and my waters haven't broken. It's like trying to birth a gym ball.

I am literally screaming in pain in a side room in maternity triage, pushing and effectively giving birth myself. My partner and my mum (both birth partners) took it in turns to find anyone. But no one came for 45 minutes.

After 45 minutes a junior midwife came in and said "oh my god your in labour".

Me and her literally ran to the deliver ward, where I was given gas and air.

I took a massive gulp of it, and was told off, because I should only take it when I am in pain and contracting..... never mind the two hours I have just been in hospital alone labouring, without a monitor on my baby or any pain relief.

I am still not hooked up to monitor, the only medical intervention is gas and air right now. My waters still haven't broken, 4 minutes later I was given the pethidine. 2 minutes after that I crown, baby in sack. Midwife broke the waters and my son was born. My official record shows that I was in labour for 9 minutes.

I had pain relief 4 minutes into my 9 minute birth and at no point was I on any kind of contraction monitoring machine. Nothing monitoring baby's heartbeat etc etc. I might as well have birthed in the woods.

I also split my right labia in two during the birth. The midwife didn't want to stitch it because it wasn't that bad.. yet I couldn't pee, unless in the bath for 3 weeks, and now that side is an inch longer than the other. Causing me, well you can imagine.

Start to finish I was treated like dirt, I was left labouring in a room alone, I was belittled and injured without proper treatment. And now I am afraid to be pregnant again.

I love the NHS, but they have let me down, massively. I am permanently injured (labia) and mentally scarred. But hate the idea of sueing the NHS on a theoretical level...

I fucking hate posters who say you have your child, it doesn’t matter how it got there. Yes it fucking does. If you don’t get that then you have s problem and are extremely unwelcome on birth trauma threads.

It wasn't a bad birth compared to others but it was bad for the op because it lacked care and support. She didn't expect it to be like that. That may have been an unreasonable expectation but i attended every ante-natal class. I don't remember any discussion about being left alone, not being given pain relief or torn labia. Tears were natural evidently and managed as part of the birthing process to minimise them. Just like bf was so natural, convenient and every woman could do it. No info about cracked nipples, enforcement, avoiding mastitis, etc.

Not a very realistic portrayal but then if it were I imagine more women would elect for c sections.

I think the problem is the fast labours and not explained either st classes or to midwives. I know mine seemed shocked I went from 6cm to pushing in 15/20 minutes but guess what it did. Listening to the patient and realising it's common would help rather that making the patient feel they don't understand their own body

It’s the fairy stories they tell you and then the way they make you feel like a freak for not having a fairy story experience.

Birth is hard, painful and messy where ever you give birth. Whether in a field, in an NHS hospital, at home or privately.

I wouldn't bank on having a better birth experience in a private hospital tbh. Midwives get the same training whether they practice privately or in the NHS. Birth isn't a precise science and it's a difficult unpredictable process to go through and support.

Totally disagree with Gertrude.** Private maternity care is 100 x better and there’s little need to see a midwife. Check in for your c section and job done. Did it myself. Midwives were not allowed in the theatre.

I agree that in part private is better because Midwives don’t rule the roost there in the same way they do in the NHS.

To be fair, you can go from 3cm to pushing in 45 minutes. It doesn’t mean they did anything wrong. At that point in labour (3cm) it is normal not to have a midwife with you and not to monitor your baby. Labial tears are nasty but also a very common part of birth. I’m sorry to hear you feel traumatised by your birth, but that does not necessarily equate with harm being done.

I remember some cow at the “look around” session waving forceps in the air saying “we never use these”. Guess what?
And that was the very least of the shitness I experienced.

Unfotunately, it is totally the norm to be belittled, degraded, caused injury & remain untreated for that injury for life when you give birth on the NHS.
I have 3 DCs; 2 worse than your experience & 1 better. I have stress incontinence and back problems that the gp doesn't consider worthy of his time, nevermind treatment.
The emotional trauma was more painful. Having been sexually abused in my teens, the treatment I received in pregnancy, birth and post natal care, felt like a continuation of that.
Sorry for your experience and I'm sorry for all of us.

@gertrude you're completely wrong. I had my dcs in a private hospital - the midwives do what they are told to do and don't get to make decisions about things that could damage anyone. My experiences were brilliant, unlike those of my friends on the nhs. No one wants to say it but EVIDENTLY from this thread there are some thick and cruel midwives getting away with all sorts of personal and professional failings on the nhs and it is wrong. The nhs experience is not good enough. If men gave birth i don't think they would give a fuck about the nhs budget re sueing, they wouldn't take it.
It's really sad hearing some of the views on here, makes me wince. Birth is not actually meant to be as frightening as some of the experiences here - but obviously some have been brainwashed into thinking different.

After the first time my experiences on the NHS were very good. But I am resolute, made it plain there would not be a repeat, pulled them up on any inconsistencies, and most importantly, if they hadn't responded with the right service I could have walked.

I recall my first conversation with the consultant when he said he was sorry but he didn't do private work. I simply responded I wasn't asking him to see me privately, I had paid once already and didn't expect to have to pay again. I got exceptional service but it was because my care was consultant led.

Just because it's the NHS should not let midwives get away with some of their behaviour. The two on duty the night my DS was born just wanted to chat (the floor was post natal and then one ante natal ward the others were asleep and just needed monitoring).

The conversation went round like this:

Them: you will know when you are in labour
Me: yes and I am
Them: no you are not you will know when you are
Me: yes I know and I am

Until I waved a sanitary pad covered in blood at them and told them I was going to the delivery suite then. The (male) midwife was them left to ring my husband (it was 130) in the morning told him that I thought I was in labour and going to the delivery suite but not to rush as I might come back and he would have to head home again. He arrived just as DS was born

My friend a month earlier had given birth in the toilet.

The point is yes at 2/3 cm you don't need a midwife but you can go from that to giving birth in under an hour (and it's common enough). If the standard for realising that is listening to the patient then they should. The OP experience is a midwife who thought she knew better and did not listen to the patient.

I wish I had complained because then maybe they would have looked into better procedures. It should not take a death/serious injury to do so.

Namaste is right about the three year time limit. But I disagree with people who say we should just accept bad care and move on. The more of us who kick up a fuss, the more likely we are to improve care for other women and babies in the long run.

I remember some cow at the “look around” session waving forceps in the air saying “we never use these”. Guess what?

I was told that forceps and such are very rarely used, only in an absolute emergency. So I proper shat myself when they got the forceps. I was also cut, without them telling me. They cut me and then said that they had done an episotomy. I had had an epidural by that point so didn't feel anything, but I still think that they should have told me before doing it. I would not have objected..anything to get the baby out safe. But I felt pretty..I don't know if violated is the right word, but very shitty about it all.

I remember at the look around session a prospective father asking why the wards were so hot but the windows only opened so far. The midwife leading us around said that if they let the windows open all the way 'women would jump out of them with the pain'.

She wasn't making some sick sort of joke- she said it with a fair amount of relish.

I can say she properly scared the shit out of all of us (about 8of us). I feel really angry about it now. (There was loads of stuff though... including that the midwives took DS away from me when he was born because I wa tired and 'needed to rest' and I did not see him again for over an hour. The ward was really busy and I kept buzzing but no-one came or brought DS back to me, and when he finally came back the midwife had him strapped to her front and made a comment along the lines of ; 'Oh, we love cuddling the new ones'. I gave birth at 1.30, DH went about an hour later and I did not see DS until about 4 am. I was weeping with desperation for him. This was in 2009..... thinking back I cannot believe it, or how I was treated. (There were other things too, but that's what i am sharing today).

@secret that's sickening. Evil bitches. They remind me of those weird nuns from years ago. I don't think i could have physically restrained myself in these types of situations - probably best for my sanity and my freedom that i avoided them.

Threads like this make me believe that Morecambe Bay was only the tip of the iceberg.

I’ve got a lot of respect for midwives, nurses etc. These are trained professionals who do something that I can’t. So yeah, respect is my start point. But treat me like an idiot and that respect will evaporate in seconds.

It’s THAT issue that causes the breakdown of trust. Midwives are sandwiched in betwern the demands of superiors and patients and whilst it’s the same across the NHS new mums are such a vulnerable demographic it’s a tinderbox scenario that should not exist but for as long as the NHS is structured as is the status quo will remain, allowing for midwives to “overheat” and allow for unprofessional behaviour to become the norm...see Morecambe Bay for the (extreme?) example of how this can play out.

To the posters who say just be grateful you got your baby...it’s THAT attitude that means you are essentially signing yourself up for a service lottery when you go in for your next baby folks.

I gave birth twice at one of the best units in the country and I still felt and could see service shortfalls leading to some of the midwives being a bit “compassion lite” compared to my last visit with DD. And that’s a time lapse of only 18months. It really shocked me.

Honestly I say sue every single time. The only way the NHS is ever going properly fund maternity services is if it becomes cost efficient to do so. So many women have complete horror stories never mind the lack of compassion. I can’t fault the unbelievably overstretched midwives and consultants until they are properly funded. Or at least complain every single time.

I went from 3 CMS to 10 and pushing in under 20mins with #3, luckily I was being watched due to a super speedy labour (similar but unaccompanied) with #2 and was on the ward anyway. So despite being a quite medicalised experience it was my best labour yet.

I did push for consultant led care from the outset because of a combination of factors, and my actual birth had two midwives present, one senior and they were amazing. In fact all my care this Tim as amazing. Not so much with #1 and #2, but very different each time.

And yes, that 20 mins was fucking painful. The MWs kept saying they reckoned I must have a really high pain threshold...didn't feel like it!

Where do midwives fit in? Are they doctors or specialist-nurses? They are not doctors, are they?

No midwives where I used to live, there was an obstetrician, a gynaecologist and an anaesthetist all on duty. When I teared, I was stitched back very neatly by one of them.

It was not perfect, but I felt looked after.

The British mantra:"don't dare to complain of trauma or tears if you have a healthy baby" terrifies me.

I have heard too many stories of bad stitching by midwives in the UK. They are not surgeons, are they? There should be a doctor to professionally asses
and stitch up tears and ruptures.

NO midwives are not doctors and i don't think they should be stitching anyone up. I once worked with a girl who had gone through all the training to be a midwife and left because she didn't like it but she was thick as shit and could barely do a basic receptionist job so that scared me too. Doesn't say much for their 'training'.

Trauma depends on the individual's experience of an event, not the event itself. And you don't just get over it by having people tell you it wasn't that bad!

We're neither doctors nor specialist nurses. We're autonomous practitioners and when things are "normal" we don't have to refer to the doctors. When we recognise something isn't normal we alert the doctors and work alongside them.

toothyteeth. I'm interested why you don't think midwives should be stitching anyone up? I've been a midwife for nearly 15 years and am very good at suturing. Probably better than the sho who has been doing the job a few weeks/months.