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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To sue the NHS over my birthing experience

486 replies

boomitscountginula · 03/11/2017 22:56

Now before I get flamed to death. I do appreciate my birth story isn't as bad as some but, I now refuse to have another baby unless I can get assurances that this won't happen again, and the only way I can do so is to go private, I think.? It was traumatic to me.

I had a quite easy birth, in terms of how long it took "officially" but I wasn't listened to and have a couple of long lasting injuries I think could of been prevented if they believed I was in labour to begin with.

My birth story: I woke up the day after my due day and had lost my plug over night. Went for a stretch and sweep at lunch, (planned as it was my first) with my midwife said I was 3cm already.

Fabulous, no pain at the minute, now 3cm easy birth.. so I thought.

Went home had a nap, woke up with contractions near tea time. By 9pm they where regularly 6 minutes apart so rang the maternity ward, had a phone assessment and went in.

Got into maternity triage, in absolute agony, had a physical exam and the triage said:

"Your only 3 cm, you need to come home and come back."

I said well as you can see, I am contacting every 6 minutes and less now, the pain is overwhelming and I feel like I need to push.

She tutted and said in all her experience she had never been wrong and I had hours to go, so needed to go home.

I was in bits at this news and crumbled. I never wanted an epidural and chose pethidine (sic) and gas and air. So agreed I would go home but I needed some kind of pain killer, that I could have with my chosen birth plan. I really put my foot down and said I will go home but only if I can get a pain killer stronger that the 2 paracetamol I had taken already.

She said she would find a doctor, but never came back.

Meanwhile I then go into the advanced stages of Labour. Bare in mind I had two paracetamol and my waters haven't broken. It's like trying to birth a gym ball.

I am literally screaming in pain in a side room in maternity triage, pushing and effectively giving birth myself. My partner and my mum (both birth partners) took it in turns to find anyone. But no one came for 45 minutes.

After 45 minutes a junior midwife came in and said "oh my god your in labour".

Me and her literally ran to the deliver ward, where I was given gas and air.

I took a massive gulp of it, and was told off, because I should only take it when I am in pain and contracting..... never mind the two hours I have just been in hospital alone labouring, without a monitor on my baby or any pain relief.

I am still not hooked up to monitor, the only medical intervention is gas and air right now. My waters still haven't broken, 4 minutes later I was given the pethidine. 2 minutes after that I crown, baby in sack. Midwife broke the waters and my son was born. My official record shows that I was in labour for 9 minutes.

I had pain relief 4 minutes into my 9 minute birth and at no point was I on any kind of contraction monitoring machine. Nothing monitoring baby's heartbeat etc etc. I might as well have birthed in the woods.

I also split my right labia in two during the birth. The midwife didn't want to stitch it because it wasn't that bad.. yet I couldn't pee, unless in the bath for 3 weeks, and now that side is an inch longer than the other. Causing me, well you can imagine.

Start to finish I was treated like dirt, I was left labouring in a room alone, I was belittled and injured without proper treatment. And now I am afraid to be pregnant again.

I love the NHS, but they have let me down, massively. I am permanently injured (labia) and mentally scarred. But hate the idea of sueing the NHS on a theoretical level...

OP posts:
Ifearthecold · 04/11/2017 12:40

I truly don't think suing is the answer because a lack of money is responsible for too few staff and over stretched care. I could have sued and I am still pretty cross that during labour we couldn't find any staff and after birth I had so many senior people sitting at the end of my bed explaining how it wasn't their fault. The only honest person was the midwife who finally did help who said sorry and burst into tears, I ended up comforting her. There was a review at the hospital and they promised they would make changes following on. If my dd had not been resuscitated I may well have been so angry I would have sued. If she had needed significant extra care for the rest of her life I would have sued to provide that for her. But suing does just take money from an already stressed system.

BlackBanana · 04/11/2017 12:47

Christ I wish that had been my last birth experience. I'd be weeping with happiness if that was all that happened to me and DD.

Financialconund · 04/11/2017 12:53

Re broken system, it was broken a decade ago I was writing to mps then, labour had been in charge, were still in charge. Botched births, mw crisis stories were in press nearly every single day Sad

Financialconund · 04/11/2017 12:54

Black that's not helpful, ops birth was traumatic to her. She is an individual.

Eryri1981 · 04/11/2017 13:00

Financial...
I think it is helpful, if op is going to try for another baby she needs to bring her expectations of what to expect from child birth down to a realistic level (regardless of whether she goes private or nhs) or else she will find she is traumatised further by another relatively straightforward birth. Sometimes that takes people being brutally honest.

SilverSpot · 04/11/2017 13:06

If you pay for a private mid wife how does that’s work? Do they just stay with you and go with you to the NHS ward? But then I guess they don’t have any official standing? Just a knowledgable birthing partner?

Thetoothyteeth · 04/11/2017 13:11

@shiver no, generally doesn't work like that. If you go private you have a private team,
So that sort of means nhs midwives aren't involved? Get it? The nhs ones are the ones who have no say - that's sort of the point.

NoMoreAngstPls · 04/11/2017 13:13

Totally agree with karatekitten . Midwives can't keep every labouring woman in the ward, so must use judgement. It is unfortunate that this some times means they can be dismissive and overbearing.

I was sent home at 3cm with DC2. I shouldnt have been so submissive, as I knew I was in the later stages. I didn't even get home in the car, before I started pushing, and we had a white knuckle u turn back to the hospital. DC2 was born less than a minute after arriving.

It's unfortunate that a) the MWs didn't properly listen to me (especially as someone who'd already given birth) and that b) I wasn't more adamant about not leaving. But DC2 was fine, I was ok (couple of stitches) so I counted my blessings and put it down to childbirth not being an exact science. Tbh, i think DH took it hardest '- that 10min dash to the hospital took years off him Grin

TammyswansonTwo · 04/11/2017 13:15

No Eyri. Being patronised by women and brought down a peg or two in the trauma olympics is not how you deal with trauma of any kind. For some it may sound like a pleasant birth but being ignored, made to distrust her own body, being given no pain relief despite her requests and having an injury that was inadequately treated is not a good outcome just because others have it worse.

The behaviour on this thread has been appalling.

user1471134011 · 04/11/2017 13:17

You have your child, how they got there isn’t important

This is a shit attitude.

doozeldog · 04/11/2017 13:19

Good luck with that one! They made 13 serious errors with my birth and I couldn’t sue! Best i got was a written apology!

PizzaHerbs · 04/11/2017 13:20

toothy

If you hire a private midwife but have to come into hospital then they are not licenced to practice in the NHS hospital so they would act like a knowledgeable doula.

If you go to a private hospital you then have care from the midwives employed at that private hospital.

PizzaHerbs · 04/11/2017 13:22

Thanks missduke for explaining why women are sent home. It makes sense that a hospital can't be filled up with women who might be in early labour for a few days are not requiring any actual medical care.

AnnabellaH · 04/11/2017 13:28

Dippingmytoesin no but it is moving. It should be part of the main hospital. And the awards you receive are a load of bollocks if you think you provide any decent level of antenatal care in labour. Your mlu should be ashamed of its self, even down to the horror that works on the front desk who treats all worried women like they're the biggest inconvinience she's ever met.

I was nearly dead due to liver failure, missed PE and a stuck gallstone that they said was the baby's bum sticking in to my ribs...and in full blown labour - they sent me home telling me I wasn't in enough pain.

I watched the woman on the desk scoff and roll her eyes at a first time mum in her late 30s - who was sobbing as she hadn't felt her baby move for 12hrs. The MLU beds were empty but they kept her waiting another hour and she ended up as an emergency section.

If I ever step foot in there again it will only be to kick the Dr on call and tell the front desk worker exactly what everyone else thinks of her. You really should know how bad it is for anyone with any sort of problem or worry during pregnancy.

It's reputation with most women is the same. They use it because they have no option. We would all much rather prefer Whiston.

RaindropsAndSparkles · 04/11/2017 13:29

23 years ago my entire NCT group thought they would breathe their babies out naturally. 6 women. 4 caesareans, one unexpected 11.5lb baby and severe birth trauma. DS1 was back to back, cord wrapped and compressed. Midwives didn't notice probs at all and sent us home at 7.30 but my waters broke at the lift! Agony until 10.30 on an open ward. Transferred to Labour ward where CD relax and got epidural. 0-10 in about 40 mins. Heart disappeared three times m/w nonchalant. DH opened door and yelled for a Dr. All he'll broke loose. And a team appeared. Baby too far out to go back. Cord cut before born one push while reg sharpened forceps. Did it but prolapse bladder. Ds1 took sev mins to resuscitate. One night in SCBU. Was fine.

Never ever would I advise any woman to listen to a midwife. It was a relatively easy birth but CD have resulted in a dead or brain damaged baby.

If women's expectations were managed better there would be a lot more c sections. If I'd been scanned at maternity and back to back and cord had been noted that would have been a calm, well managed and safer birth.

Why not more checking first?

AnnabellaH · 04/11/2017 13:29

Oh and this was 5 months ago! Not years ago.

Sosks · 04/11/2017 13:34

As someone who's baby didn't make it through labour I agree with the other posters who say you should be happy for your safe and healthy baby. That doesn't mean you can't think what happened was terrible, but focus on the good because not everyone has such a happy ending.

ElseaLove · 04/11/2017 13:39

I'm sorry for your loss sosks Flowers
I respectfully disagree with putting up and shutting up just because baby arrived ok. Doesn't the mothers health and well-being count for anything? Complications, unexpected problems can all have a knock on effect later on and turn into something greater like PTSD or PND. Women are not just vessels to push out babies. Sad

BlackBanana · 04/11/2017 13:41

Black that's not helpful, ops birth was traumatic to her. She is an individual

Aren't we all?

I think we're in danger of pathologising any birth that isn't sunshine and lollipops, tbh. Birth is fucking hard, and traumatic and painful and messy and changes you.
But lets not pretend anyone who didnt have a lovely time is suffering from PTSD.

Thetoothyteeth · 04/11/2017 13:44

@pizza i know - because that's what i did. Nhs weren't getting anywhere near or my babies thanks. And i had great experiences because i wasnt at the mercy of any of the brazen smirky nhs midwifes / front desks. Id love to have the option of opting out of paying their wages.

shhhfastasleep · 04/11/2017 13:49

Black. No fucking pretending here. But if it makes you happy to downplay trauma then ... suit yourself.

BlackBanana · 04/11/2017 13:55

Not what I said, but whatever.

CatsCatsCats11 · 04/11/2017 13:57

Without being rude your birth was exactly what I wanted to happen, to be left alone to labour minimal pain relief and minimal tearing, your complaining about a slight tear I had a third degree tear allthough my vagina and bum. I think you need some perspective, I think you may have built this up bigger in your head than it was. I would suggest counselling and maybe homebirth if you wanted another baby for the one to one midwife you want.

rosy71 · 04/11/2017 14:00

I think you would be better off talking to your GP & getting in touch with the hospital to go through things with you. I can fully understand you feeling traumatised but I do think we need to realise that child birth is scary, unpredictable and dangerous. Having a birth plan is no guarantee that you'll get that birth. Tearing/injury is very common.

rosy71 · 04/11/2017 14:03

Also, being being able to talk it through may help for future deliveries. My ds2 was born very quickly but was 9lb 6.5oz & had shoulder dystocia. The consultant said that if I had a 3rd child (I didn't!) I would be offered an elective caeserean, although I wouldn't have to have one, and this would all be discussed before giving birth. Your previous experiences are taken into account.