To ask what you absolutely do not tolerate when looking after toddler(s)?

[BernardBlacksHangover]

I have a nearly 3yo and she is quite high energy.

Just wondering what behaviour other parents / grandparents / other carers take a 'zero tolerance' approach to.

I guess for us it's anything immediately dangerous like running into the road, sticking things up nose, eating dangerous / very dirty stuff. Also hurting other children or adults.

Wonder if we're a little bit slack tbh? She is very bouncy and likes climbing everywhere, running around, (we do stop this if we're in a shop or cafe or something) and isn't a very good eater.

Would love to hear what others do.

Tia.

2.5 and nearly 4 here, and I don't tolerate;

• Naked bottoms on the sofa
• Biting, slapping, kicking etc
• Playing with (slamming) doors
• Shrieking indoors and public open spaces
• Anything other than sitting on the chair in a cafe and eating in a civilised fashion
• Anything other than holding hands in car parks, pavements etc
• Shoes indoors
• Licking/snotting on the TV
• Eating meals in any place other than the table

I think we're quite lax on a lot of stuff though. Digging in the dirt, running wild around the park etc is all okay

Nearly 2 years old.
No biting.
No climbing on the table etc.
No eating things off the floor.
No standing on/kicking/throwing toys at her brother's head.
No putting anything in her brother's mouth be it food or anything else she finds (he's only a few months old, she wants to share everything)

No hitting etc other kids and she must always share. Can't believe how horrid some kids are hitting out and snatching (we've only just started visiting play centres and mixing with random kids, rather than my friend's kids).

Haha mine have to be told not to lick each other too and also not to put their willies in each other faces.

A few days ago I had to tell DS (3) not to stick his nose into DDs backside. Seriously

Some things should really go without saying but with kids, it seems not.

Other noteable examples include 'stop shoving carrots up your nose' and 'DO NOT TRY TO WEE ON YOUR SISTER!!!!'

Kicking, hitting, spitting, biting, rude words

Nothing dangerous or violent. No snatching. must be quiet in public. No loud noises ublesspart of a hand in general. Must say please and thank you.

No destructive behaviour
All food and drink at the table

We have an older child with the understanding of a one year old. The rules in our heads are no dangerous or destructive behaviour or grabbing at/ doing things that might hurt other people and behaving in a way that is as socially acceptable as possible. Most of this is done by constant close supervision on our part.

Worried I have a compliant child. Ds is a bit of a people pleaser, responds well to star charts, praise etc. Dd is not a compliant child! It is a pretty much endless stream of defiance from dd. Very much a work in progress!

Damocat ds quite liked having his teeth brushed. Dd would fight it with all of her might. I tried taking turns first, brushing my teeth first, doing it in front of a mirror.....things like that. Then when she still wouldn't I took her to buy a special toothbrush and cup and toothpaste. When she still kicked off I wrapped her in a towel and did it any way. With her old toothbrush. Took about 3 days for her to decide it was better to have her new toothbrush and let me have a go first. If she hadn't I would have continued to wrap her in a towel tbh. My friend is a dentist and has told me horror stories about 5 and 6 year olds having all of their baby teeth removed so mine have their teeth brushed.

I think I expect quite a lot of my two but I'm reasonably laid back about some things. We eat out at least once a week and often in ordinary pubs/restaurants (rather than fun factories/play centres)but we only go places where we know the service is usually quick and go armed with colouring books etc. We don't hang about before ordering and we generally try to keep them amused.

A bit Like pp says the rules I have exist mainly in my head and do not actually translate to reality. The things I always intervene on are violence, any potential damage to furniture, and any dangerous climbing. For anything else all bets are off as to whether I'll muster the energy!

For me mainly just violence, and not breaking/damaging things. I don't force social interactions as I think for socially anxious children like my DS1 it makes an issue out of something they are just not mature enough to do - if they're ready to look someone in the eye and say 'hello' they'll do it.

Would like to keep them at the table but DS2 is a bugger for this and it ruins mealtimes if we're just jumping up after him all the time, so as long as he manages an initial 5 minute stint we just turn a blind eye for now (he's only 2.5) as he gets older we will increase the time he must join us for until it's basically the whole shebang.

I've never been able to get worked up about sofa bouncing/cushions off. Can anyone explain why you have this rule? It's not going to damage it so I can't fathom why it's an issue.

I always wanted to make dens with ours as a child and I used to think my DM was a total arsehole for not letting me. So actually sometimes now I'm the instigator of a full on sofa den! I have explained though that you can't mess with sofas in other people's houses.

My toddler doesn't listen to a fucking word I say

Oh Gawd, these are taking me back.

The general rules of kind hands, no hurting each other and use good manners were what we used.

The specific rules you end up with very much depend on the type of child you have. DS1 was a breeze to take out, as we had done a weekly cafe trip since he was a bare month old. Just needed a few toys and all ok.

DS2, needed far more 'intervention'. So more activities, etc. But then having an older brother he was more used to being entertained.

Oddly enough now, however, at 10 and 8, it is DS2 who is more able to entertain himself than DS1. Probably from bring dragged along to all of DS1's activities.

Almost 4 and almost 2

I settled for LESS licking other people and only GENTLY kicking each other yesterday. It was a long day.

The 3yo is a master negotiator.

"No playing with willies on the sofa"

That's quite a good life rule for adults too!