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AIBU?

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Original poster

...... to think it is profoundly anti feminist to use the word "cunt"...

395 replies

BertrandRussell · 03/11/2017 10:00

....to describe, for example, an abusive violent man? I find the idea that, when looking for a word to describe awful, awful behaviour, we use a word for women's genitals horribly misogynistic.

Or am I just stuck in the 70s?

OP posts:
OtterInDisgrace · 04/11/2017 04:54

Nah, it's a great word. I don't use it to describe my genitals so I don't conflate the two notions in my head.

This is it, exactly. My mum was a swearer and growing up I heard this word used repeatedly, but never in reference to the female genitalia. As such, I learned it only as a swear. To me, it meant the same as any other swear, like bastard, prick, knob, etc.

So I simply don’t equate it with the female anatomy and when I use it I may use it with venom, but it just means I’m quite vehement in my dislike for that person I’m calling a cunt. It has no other connotations whatsoever.

OtterInDisgrace · 04/11/2017 05:01

I’m more offended by the self-proclaimed ‘non feminists’ on here to be honest.

thegreylady · 04/11/2017 07:50

It is from cwm meaning valley. In days gone by the word quim was used. I have never said, and rarely written, the word cunt. It’s etymology isn’t unpleasant. Like most language it has evolved over time. D H Lawrence uses it in Lady Chatterley’s Lover which caused the book to be banned. I wish I wasn’t offended by it but I really am and it is not an appropriate insult for a man unless you find female genitalia offensive.

Bluntness100 · 04/11/2017 08:00

Totally agree with you op.

It’s commonly seen as one of the most offensive insults in thr English language. We all know exactly what it means.

Yes we use the words for male genitalia as insults too, knob, dick head, dick, prick, but none of them are seen as offensive as cunt.

As women we should be stamping out it’s use as an insult. Term of endearment, fine, your genitalia, fine, but weve a long way to go before those are the commonly held understandings, when it’s used as an insult, we as women should not be condoning it.

Women trying to condone using the crudest word possible for their genitalia as an insult to others is as anti feminist as it gets.

In addition, it’s not cool, it’s simply obnoxious, offensive, rough language when used as an insult.

Bluntness100 · 04/11/2017 08:05

I’m Scottish, I lived 32 years there, and I’m offended by the generalisation the population use this word commonly. They don’t. It’s perceived the same way as it is in England. It’s a deeply offensive swear word which means female genitalia.

questionbasket · 04/11/2017 08:14

The Scottish thing is interesting because someone in my lectures at uni used to claim the same thing (only about somewhere in England). Had to sit there for 3 years as she tried to normalise it, calling everyone cunts, cunting-this, cunting-that, cunt move ect, shouting it out as someone else in our cohort found it shocking and that amused her.
All because she said it was the done thing where she grew up. But I and some others were from the same area and it isn't true. It was quite uncomfortable.

Bluntness100 · 04/11/2017 08:27

It’s not true, it’s not even remotely true. If it was true, as a Scot I’d hold a different view. I’m proof it’s nonsense and an insult to the Scots to tar them with this. I now live in England and I can assure you the word has the same meaning here as it does in Scotland.

I’ve never met anyone who walks into their family home, looks at their mother and says “alright you cunt”. Who goes into a meeting with their boss and says “what do you want you cunt”. I can’t even believe some people are trying to suggest it’s normal as a way to justify themselves.It’s not. Not even remotely. Some people may, but those same people could be English, Irish or welsh and it would be a tiny element of the population.

As said, using it as an insult needs to be stamped out, and as we see on here, that’s commonly how it’s used. Pretending we don’t know it’s a crude term for female genitalia is simply ridiculous.

Original poster
BertrandRussell · 04/11/2017 08:36

"Would you honestly go to your GP and say, "I've got an itchy cunt, I think I may have thrush"?

Or to a school teacher, "My daughter was kicked in the cunt at play time"?"

No, I wouldn't. But I would theoretically (only theoretically because I'm trapped by societal norms as much as the next woman!) prefer it to be used like that than to describe an abusive man.........

OP posts:
User843022 · 04/11/2017 08:36

'Pretending we don’t know it’s a crude term for female genitalia is simply ridiculous.'
Yes that is the literal definition, but as has been said throughout swear words develop, to call someone cunt meaning they are nasty is not infering a vagina is.
The op won't reply to my earlier question but if you take swear words for their literal meaning what do you think someone means when then say fuck off, are they telling someone to go and have sex? Obviously not, it has evolved to mean an aggressive and hostile 'go away'.

Bluntness100 · 04/11/2017 08:43

It still has the base meaning though. You ask the overwhelming majority of people what a cunt is they will know it’s a crude term for female genitalia that is used as an insult. Please stop pretending otherwise. We all know it’s still used as a crude term for female genitalia by many. It’s not some forgotten meaning.

And lastly on its use in Scotland. I strongly advise anyone reading this who may be about to visit Scotland not to call people a cunt. You’re liable to get your head kicked in, or at the very least you would be seen as some obnoxious social pariah.

woman11017 · 04/11/2017 08:43

YANBU

EdmundCleverClogs · 04/11/2017 08:44

I’ve never met anyone who walks into their family home, looks at their mother and says “alright you cunt”. Who goes into a meeting with their boss and says “what do you want you cunt”. I can’t even believe some people are trying to suggest it’s normal as a way to justify themselves.It’s not. Not even remotely. Some people may, but those same people could be English, Irish or welsh and it would be a tiny element of the population.

Of course you wouldn't use 'cunt' (or cont where I'm from) as a greeting to your mother or boss Hmm. However, especially in younger circles, 'you alright, cunt?' is certainly a crude but familiar greeting. It's not that recent a thing either, but obviously if you don't move in those social circles then you wouldn't be familiar with it. Doesn't mean it doesn't happen though and in more than tiny pockets of the UK.

Pretending we don’t know it’s a crude term for female genitalia is simply ridiculous.

I don't see anyone pretending it's not a crude word for female genitalia, it is. It's also, separately, a swear word. You can have an issue with it being slang, a swear word or both, it's one word with two different meanings and neither of them are exactly for polite social conversation. However, it doesn't mean the word should be banned because some cannot separate the two definitions.

Notanumberuser · 04/11/2017 08:45

I don’t see it as any different to using prick or wanker or knob as an insult to a woman (which are phrases I use).

Why is it worse than those?

OrangeRhinoInTraining · 04/11/2017 08:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notanumberuser · 04/11/2017 08:48

And the irony of you calling out a word as misogynistic when using racist terms (and yes, Sambo is racist and a horrible word) is not lost on me

Original poster
BertrandRussell · 04/11/2017 08:50

"it's one word with two different meanings and neither of them are exactly for polite social conversation"

So the two meanings are:-

  1. A woman's genitals
  2. A random four letter word unrelated to women's genitals that completely coincidentally we as a society have decided to designate the worst swear..........
OP posts:
PidgeonSpray · 04/11/2017 08:51

The word means nothing to me at all.

We use it so much at home (in a fun way, not in a serious way) that it's now lost any real negative meaning to us. My husband and I are both feminists btw.

It is possible to redefine words eg) the n word has been redefined by poc and they have ownership of it now

PidgeonSpray · 04/11/2017 08:53

words can definitely be redefined (not necessarily good) gay, queer. I'm sure there are a lot more.

Bluntness100 · 04/11/2017 08:55

I’m absolutely appalled at the women on here trying to desperately and unconvincingly justify the usage of this mysogynistic word, I don’t even know if I feel I should hope they are men behind the keyboard. Which is worse?

So, if you are female, you go girl, call your daughter in and tell her her genitalia is her cunt, but hey it’s good to call people it as an obscene insult, because you personally see no link between the definition and the offensive usage, then get you son in and explain it to him.

Then tell them it’s a term of endearment also, and from now on you’d quite like them to call you a cunt. That they can call their mates it, the folks in the local shop it. Explain your views to your children as you are on here.

Original poster
BertrandRussell · 04/11/2017 08:57

"It is possible to redefine words eg) the n word has been redefined by poc and they have ownership of it now"

Would you use it?

OP posts:
Original poster
BertrandRussell · 04/11/2017 08:58

Assuming you're white, of course!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 04/11/2017 09:04

No, I wouldn't. But I would theoretically (only theoretically because I'm trapped by societal norms as much as the next woman!) prefer it to be used like that than to describe an abusive man.........

So what did you mean when you said to a PP

Ca you say why? I'm the other way round.

In reply to them saying

"I'm a feminist, and whilst I certainly don't use it anatomically, I have no problem with it being used as a swear word"

I read that to mean you do use it anatomically?

FunGirlThree · 04/11/2017 09:05

I am ‘illegitimate’ and I don’t refer to myself as a bastard. I was called it as a child to be cruel and it really stung and I have no wish to reclaim it. That’s just how I feel, other people whose parents weren’t married might feel differently and it’s probably a generational thing. I fucking hope no child is called illegitimate or bastard now.

Original poster
BertrandRussell · 04/11/2017 09:08

Worra - I wouldn't tell a teacher that my son had been kicked in the cock either, but I have no problem with it being used as a word to describe a penis!

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 04/11/2017 09:19

Cock is not seen as offensive in our language as cunt.

Saying “you’re a total cock” has a very different level of obscenity associated with it to “you’re a total cunt”. Calling someone a cock is seen as a relatively mild insult, calling someone a cunt, is not. It’s almost alwats going to cause maximum offence.

The meaning and it’s usage are intrinsically linked, yes I agree words can be redefined, but that takes decades and this one is not yet redefined. There are even women on here who would use the word to define their own genitalia.