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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Average amount to put in wedding card?

27 replies

Jammingmarg · 02/11/2017 19:23

How much do you put in a wedding card in place of a gift?
Last year we went to sil wedding, the day before the wedding in passing she said she'd been invited to a wedding but for whatever reason couldn't go so she put in £X into a card as that's the standard amount to give. I had actually put in a bit less so I put more in. Then it's was bil wedding so put in the same amount. So in a few months we get married and sil has said she can't come but will put money in a card and send it with someone on the day, the amount she said is around 20% of what we gave her.
To be clear I'm grateful for any gift and not expecting everyone to throw money and gifts but felt a little put out a friend gets the "standard" and we get so little by comparison. She's recently been showcased her new wealth and comfortable life style, high earner husband.
So I know it's not a case of that's the standard amount but money is tight.

I'm asking this as including sil I have given this amount for 4 couples in the last year and have 2 more by the end of the year. So I don't know if she was being grabby saying that knowing I wouldn't want to look bad and would give that amount or if she's just giving us a smaller amount.

OP posts:
RedSkyAtNight · 02/11/2017 19:26

I would imagine this depends wildly on your family income, the circles you move in, and how close you are to the couple getting married.

I'd give £50 for a good friend but maybe only £10 for a work colleague.

TheNewMrs · 02/11/2017 19:28

We got anywhere between £20 and £50 in our wedding cards Smile

Vinorosso74 · 02/11/2017 19:30

Totally depends on your own finances. Recently went to a wedding of two former work colleagues-I am friends if both, more so the bride and gave £60.

AhWoof · 02/11/2017 19:34

Got £20 from a close friend right up to £200 from our next-door neighbour we’d only known 6 months!! I usually give £50. More for a close friend/family member and less if I’m just invited to the evening do.

DumbledoresApprentice · 02/11/2017 19:36

Evening only- £30
All day- £50-£60
If I didn’t actually attend the wedding I might put £10-20 in the card.

Katinkka · 02/11/2017 19:36

£100

BernardBlacksHangover · 02/11/2017 19:38

Evening - £30
All day - £60-£100

CandyMelts · 02/11/2017 19:40

£100 from us as a couple, bit more if one of us is best man, bridesmaid etc.
Last one I went to evening do alone so gave £15 as part of a group of friends.

Having recently got married we realised we've probably been slightly over generous but all previous weddings were people we were very close too.

Tilikum · 02/11/2017 19:41

What was the £X that she told you *OP? If she dropped it into conversation the day before her wedding then yes, I'd think that she was being grabby and trying to inflate your gift.

I'd give £50 for a friend and £100 for a family member.

ourkidmolly · 02/11/2017 19:43

£200-300 for family. £100-£200 for friends depending on closeness. £50 for colleagues or if I don’t go.

MrsGB2225 · 02/11/2017 19:43

50-100 for the day

RuggerHug · 02/11/2017 19:45

€100-200. But I'm aware wedding amounts here are insane.

flingingmelon · 02/11/2017 19:48

I agree that it’s entirely dependent on the couple, the wedding and your income.

I’ve always thought about £100-200 as a couple, depending on who it is. But close family with not much in the bank, we’d probably be much more generous.

MaidOfStars · 02/11/2017 19:49

£100 for both of us all day.
£30-50 for evening (just one or both, respectively).

Fortunately, I don't often give money at weddings, having never received a request for it. Cash goes to husband's friends because he can never be arsed to buy a gift. And it comes out of his bloody account too Grin

We received money gifts between £30-200 (with a truly exceptional amount from a very close family friend, but that's an outlier).

CaptainHammer · 02/11/2017 19:53

Anywhere between £20-50 depending on how close we are to the couple.

PussCatTheGoldfish · 02/11/2017 19:54

My friendship group all got married in the same year. We were all younger and skint. We all exchanged probably the exact same £20 notes. Grin

thecolonelbumminganugget · 02/11/2017 20:03

Evening £30. All day it depends how well I know the couple £50-75 ish but I'd rather buy off a gift list. I'd only buy a gift where there's no list if i knew the couples taste as well as I know my own. Gift list is the holy grail imo

MazDazzle · 02/11/2017 20:03

As a couple...
Evening invitation only - £50
Whole day - £150 minimum

I live in quite a traditional, working class area in the North of Scotland and wedding gifts are usually very generous. In my experience, the posher the do the less generous the gifts!

Regardless, it seems mean that you were given less than her standard amount.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 02/11/2017 20:11

I don't know, maybe £30? I never gift cash though as hate requests for it.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 02/11/2017 20:13

I recently gave 100 but the hen do was free and was local so no hotel !
Ranges from 50 to 100

kaytee87 · 02/11/2017 20:14

We received around £20-£30 from evening guests and anything from £50-£200 from day time guests.
We usually give £30 for evening and £100 full day as it’s usually someone close.

ShesAStar · 02/11/2017 20:21

I give £100, I'd only give more to a close relative. I guess I'd give £200 for my brother and maybe £150 for a close cousin.

kaytee87 · 02/11/2017 20:26

I think the reason hospitals feed bf mothers is because they are not providing milk for those children so are feeding their milk source iyswim? They are providing formula for ff babies, even if it’s not a brand you use.

kaytee87 · 02/11/2017 20:27

Wrong thread!

QuackDuckQuack · 02/11/2017 20:35

We tend to give £50 for an evening do, £100 all day, but gave some close relatives £500 once.