How much do you put in a wedding card in place of a gift?
Last year we went to sil wedding, the day before the wedding in passing she said she'd been invited to a wedding but for whatever reason couldn't go so she put in £X into a card as that's the standard amount to give. I had actually put in a bit less so I put more in. Then it's was bil wedding so put in the same amount. So in a few months we get married and sil has said she can't come but will put money in a card and send it with someone on the day, the amount she said is around 20% of what we gave her.
To be clear I'm grateful for any gift and not expecting everyone to throw money and gifts but felt a little put out a friend gets the "standard" and we get so little by comparison. She's recently been showcased her new wealth and comfortable life style, high earner husband.
So I know it's not a case of that's the standard amount but money is tight.
I'm asking this as including sil I have given this amount for 4 couples in the last year and have 2 more by the end of the year. So I don't know if she was being grabby saying that knowing I wouldn't want to look bad and would give that amount or if she's just giving us a smaller amount.