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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be shocked at this road rage incident that was more or less my fault

109 replies

ilovewelshrarebit123 · 02/11/2017 15:10

I was driving somewhere unfamiliar and I turned right in front of a car. This car was driving round a bend very fast, and I swerved as did the driver and apart from being very shaken, everyone was unhurt and no damage at all to our cars.

It was completely my fault and I pulled over to apologise. What happened next was just so shocking and scary.

He ran over to my car screaming and shouting at me, I apologised, said it was completely my fault and asked if he was OK.

He had completely lost the plot and two men in a van pulled over as they could see what was going on. One of them cracked a joke about women drivers trying to lighten things I think, but the driver just wouldn’t calm down and continued ranting, he was flailing his arms around and it was pretty scary.

I accept he had every right to be upset and I apologised several times. I also had my 10 year old DD with me so she witnessed all this. My best friend was behind in her car and she and her daughter also witnessed this.

Next thing a boy in his dressing gown appears out of the angry drivers car, he looked around 10. He approached my window and got right in my face and called me a fucking twat.

The men in the van said that’s not on to angry man and went to get out of the van. Angry man then turned his anger onto his boy!

I just can’t stop thinking about it and I’m so angry with myself for making the mistake. But AIBU to think to think his behaviour was out of order, I’m just grateful the van men stopped as I’ve a feeling it could have been worse.

OP posts:
araiwa · 02/11/2017 17:40

illiterateridiculousbrainless86 or whatever your name is , getting angry at people who threaten my life because they arent paying attention to what they are doing on the road and offering them a few choice words is fine. dont threaten my life- i wont yell at you

my name is only 6 letters, but then you struggled with 'would' which is only 5 so I appreciate your difficulty.

LakieLady · 02/11/2017 17:40

Airiwa or whatever your name is - t boning at 70 - you are speeding insurance wld likely 50 50

Not if it's a dual carriageway with national speed limit.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 02/11/2017 17:46

People did read he was speeding around a bend, right? Common sense says slow down. OP admits her fault but he should have been going slower around the bend.

disahsterdahling · 02/11/2017 17:49

Yes exactly, as I said in my post she couldn't just disappear when he appeared.

As I said also, women are conditioned to think they are wrong. I had an experience last week where I said something, someone airily contradicted me, I assumed they were right but decided to google it later and guess what, I was right!

kali110 · 02/11/2017 18:05

Araiwa even your posts sound angry
Maybe because her life could be ended in a second by a careless driver?
Having family members who are bikers bad driving happens to them frequently.
In a car you've got more of a chance of surviving.
If i was on a bike and someone nearly crashed into me i'd swear too! Certainly doesn't mean she shouldn't be on the roads.
Seriously, some of you Hmm

InsomniacAnonymous · 02/11/2017 18:06

deadlierCatch "@shitforbrains"

Shock Did you mean to be so rude?

Slimthistime · 02/11/2017 18:08

Tali "People did read he was speeding around a bend, right?"

no, I asked OP to clarify but she hasn't been back. He might have been doing an okay speed. OP said "very fast" but given we don't know anything about road type etc.

Plus a certain speed is reasonable, around a bend even - OP saying "it's completely my fault" paints a picture of her just going out in front of him.

Slimthistime · 02/11/2017 18:08

OP says "I turned right in front of a car" - not "I turned right and the car appeared out of nowhere".

ZivaDiva · 02/11/2017 18:16

Araiwa At some point in your driving/riding career you will have made a careless mistake which could have endangered someones life, through sheer good luck it may not have but it would have had the potential to do so. You will have lost concentration for a few seconds at some point.
Anyone who states they haven't made a serious mistake (and loss of concentration is a serious mistake) in a period of time on the road which spans a few years is either delusional, lying or possibly not human.

Kitsharrington · 02/11/2017 18:40

I was nearly cleaned up by a lorry barrelling up the motorway at 70mph thanks to the idiocy of another driver. If that driver had been within earshot immediately afterwards I absolutely would have given them a piece of my mind. You can't complain about him hurting your feelings if you nearly killed him and his kid.

Dutch1e · 02/11/2017 18:53

YANBU.

For a 10 yr old to take the opportunity to jump out and swear in your face, there's a lot more going on in that family than a one-off adrenaline-fuelled reaction.

The minimisation on this thread is breath-taking.

StaplesCorner · 02/11/2017 18:54

you fucking cunt, you nearly killed me is my usual response to people nearly killing me- i feel that it is an entirely appropriate response

The OP wasn't drunk. She wasn't sending a text. She hadn't done a line or two before she got in the car. These are the people that deserve contempt and rage. Anyone in a near miss situation calling a driver a fucking cunt shouldn't be driving. Most people on here get what you are saying OP (who I wouldn't blame if she didn't come back). Araiwa your posts say everything about you that we need to know.

Original poster
ilovewelshrarebit123 · 02/11/2017 19:35

I’m back, I’ve not once said it wasn’t my fault IT WAS!

I turned right in front of him, I don’t know what speed he was doing but it wasn’t slow that’s for sure. I made a mistake and I’m relieved it wasn’t much worse.

He was parked up behind me as I turned into the road. He then ran at least 50 yds towards my car in an extremely aggressive manner.

If he’d stayed in his car and verbally abused me fair enough I’d deserve that. But he didn’t, he lost his temper so much two chaps in a van stopped.

Ariawa - you sound a very angry person and calling people the C word is really unpleasant.

Anyway, thanks for all the comments but I‘ve asked for this thread to be deleted.

OP posts:
KinkyAfro · 02/11/2017 19:42

I think araiwa or whatever it's name is posts wanky stuff purely to cause arguments. I see lots of its posts on threads, unnecessarily rude and nasty and I know it's him/her before I get to the name.

OP knows she was in the wrong, has acknowledged that but the other driver was in the wrong too. She must've started turning before he sped round the corner but regardless of that there is no excuse for his reaction.

kali110 · 02/11/2017 20:18

Posts wanky stuff?
Think some of you should see what happens when a biker is hit by a car and then see where ariawa is coming from.
And all the sarcy comments tells me what some of you are like Hmm

rachelandmike77 · 02/11/2017 20:22

He overreacted but was probably scared and was thinking the worst could have happened to him/his son, just like you probably were. An accident was narrowly avoided and both of you had kids with you. It’s scary.

I wouldn’t dwell on it, he had his outburst/tantrum and you made your mistake too - just try to move on as no damage was caused.

HotNatured · 02/11/2017 20:57

araiwa

You sound like exactly the type of person who should not be behind the wheel. The levels of anger you are projecting on this thread are shocking. Seriously, you need to get a grip of your emotions Hmm

TheCowWentMoo · 02/11/2017 21:19

He shouldn't have been so aggressive but I think I would be pretty angry if someone risked me and my 10 yr old sons life. This isn't a silly mistake, its a potential fatal error and I can see how you could be pretty shaken up afterwards and just entirely overreact.
I also highly doubt its because she's a woman, I've seen way more road rage from other drivers when I'm in the car with men than when I'm alone or with another woman.
A couple of years ago a man went into the back of my dad (a 6'4 burly man) on the motorway, my dad braked to slow down to 50 and this guy just ploughed straight into the back of us. He then proceeded to shout at my dad for about 10 minutes, even though it was entirely his fault! He was obviously just really upset and scared about what had happened, he could have killed us and himself and sometimes in these situations people just lose it.

KinkyAfro · 02/11/2017 21:43

Well I won't lose any sleep about what you think kali. Did any of you read the p9st where op said the other driver was speeding? It's quite possible he wasn't there when op started to turn right

ShoesHaveSouls · 02/11/2017 21:54

You do have a duty to be reasonable on the road though. I'd wager that most of us have tried to make an unfamiliar turn, only to have someone come zooming round a bend at us. It's scary - but we don't know that OP was reckless - highly unlikely considering she had her DD in the car with her. There are some nasty blind spot around the place.

Doesn't excuse rudeness and aggression. Jeez - think about it - on what planet would police say "oh, yes sir, of course it's reasonable to shout and threaten a woman with a child in the car because she nearly caused an accident." They would never say that - even in the event of a collision, you are expected to act reasonably - call the police, exchange details - not scream and swear at each other.

Btw - my neighbour once did something like this to another man - shouted and threatened him over his driving - and got a visit from the police, and a warning (his wife told me). So it's definitely not ok.

Slimthistime · 02/11/2017 21:57

Kinky, op cleared that up. He was there when she turned right.

MoreFangBleed · 02/11/2017 22:06

I've not long passed my test and remembered reading this in the Highway Code:

"Be considerate. Be careful of and considerate towards all types of road users... try to be understanding if other road users cause problems; they may be inexperienced or not know the area well.
be patient; remember that anyone can make a mistake.
Do not allow yourself to become agitated or involved if someone is behaving badly on the road. This will only make the situation worse. Pull over, calm down and, when you feel relaxed, continue your journey. Slow down and hold back if a road user pulls out into your path at a junction. Allow them to get clear. Do not over-react by driving too close behind to intimidate them."

Could almost be written for your situation.

MoreFangBleed · 02/11/2017 22:07

Bold fail - they may be inexperienced or not know the area well. Be patient; remember that anyone can make a mistake.

Ceto · 02/11/2017 22:09

people who pull out on others shouldnt be allowed on the road

odfod, Araiwa. If we only allow people who are totally incapable of making mistakes on the road, we wouldn't need roads.

Anyoneanytimeanywhere · 02/11/2017 22:14

You never shout scream and swear at a stranger because of a driving mistake.
Simple as that.
If you do you are guilty of threatening behaviour.
I imagine many people would mutter a swear word under their breath in shock in their car, but it is not ok to shout in someone’s face.
Araiwa needs her head testing if she thinks this is a normal way to go on.
Op ignore the crazy folk with the anger problems. It may still be worth reporting to the police anyway, there could have been cctv around.
It is not ok for a man to frighten another road user like this.

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