to be upset that dh wants to go out on Christmas?

[Pinkjellies]

I don't have much family to speak of so DH and I spend most christmas' with his family in another city.

Most years he would go round to his mate's family on Christmas evening and since we've been together I've gone too. I don't really enjoy these Christmas evening. I don't know the family too well and we often play trivia games which makes me embarrassed for my lack of general knowledge.

Dh is well aware I don't love the experience and every year we have words about whether we'll go especially since his family are a bit miffed that we up and leave after dinner. This year, I really can't be bothered and I told dh I won't be going. I expected him to want to stay with me but he has said that he's going whether or not I do. Aibu to expect him to stay in with me at his parents on Christmas Day?

I’m sure his parents would be very happy if you stayed with them for the evening, OP, especially as they’re not happy that you leave to go to his friends’ house every year. You love his parents, you say, so I expect you’d have a much better time.

It’s for your DH to decide what he does of course.

Alternatively, it might be very nice for you both to do something completely different and go away on holiday. You don’t have to always do the same thing.

Gherkin - ooh thanks! The Leicester Square one is open, that might actually work for my family....!

Plenty of corner shops are open Christmas Day here in SE London, even a few tesco metro have been sometimes, all staffed / owned by non Christmas celebrating people

Slim most malls/retail/grocery stores are closed here, too. Although that's getting rarer these days. But certain restaurants and some 'entertainment' venues are open.

We still laugh about the 'great whipping cream hunt' where we tried to find an open food store on Xmas Day. Ended up buying some from a local restaurant.

"Gherkin - ooh thanks! The Leicester Square one is open, that might actually work for my family....!"

How would you get there with no public transport?

Everything is closed on Christmas day where I live, and I don't have a problem with that. However, I grew up in a time when shops didn't open on a Sunday. I love the peacefulness.

Lon "How would you get there with no public transport?"

okay slightly at risk of outing myself but here goes

there's 2 sides of the family to consider

depending on which side I'm with, it might be the case that one person can drive us all into town and we won't be bored out of our minds.

That said, the "other" side of the family isn't that big of a pain so I can cope with them for a couple of days. We won't have access to a car but it doesn't matter with us, we will be all right to spend the day together without dying of boredom or one particularly obnoxious individual exploding with rage about nothing.

quite possible they'll moan there's nothing they want to watch though but if it keeps them quiet for a couple of hours the rest of us would watch paint dry!!

PS it's not decided which side I'm with this year. I'm hoping they'll all just forget about it and leave me in peace. Yes, that's a vanishingly small possibility but I can dream!!

I think yanbu. You see his family and don't enjoy the evenings. There should be compromises. Like your choice every 2nd year.

Apologies. I'm in the UK, and we always go to the movies on Boxing Day here; never thought they weren't open on Christmas as well.

He seems to be getting too much of his own way. Maybe take his lead and make some plans of your own at another time that don't involve him or that he doesn't want to join in with. Yanbu

YANBU- I wouldn’t want to spend Christmas evening at my Partners mates house either.

He sounds selfish

just ask to take it in turns, no-one is being unreasonable...its just different likes/dislikes.

Bloody hell OP! I can't believe some of these posts. Of course YANBU. You've done it your DH's way every year, is that right? And this year you've had enough and said you'd like to do things differently?

You are notbeing 'manipulative' or any of the other things that's been thrown at you in this thread. You are simply saying you'd like your feelings taken into consideration this year.

It's your Christmas as well. YANBU.

It sounds fun and he should feel able to go. You're kinda manipulating and guilt tripping which is unfair

Are you the DH?

His family don't sound too impressed either. It sounds a bit like a teenager coming home from university for Christmas, eating at home and then buggering off to see their mates without giving a toss about the family. Can't he do that some other time and just focus on you & his family for once?

^ this

Are cinemas open on Xmas day??

Ok just read the poster who said they were open doesn’t live in the uk.

he sees thm all week thyre having a party 2 days before but he still insists going to thm again on xmas night

ridiculous

I wouldn't be happy. I would feel like he was putting "his" friends before and ahead of me. I don't think it is fair that you have to do what he wants to do every year. You've been accommodating every year so he should perhaps considerer what you'd like to do this year.

What?! She's not being U. The thought of having to stay with my inlaws every single year and on top of that having to go to games night with his friends' family every single year would drive me crazy. At the very least you should get to alternate, and if "your" years involve staying in PJs at home all day, that's as valid as what he wants to do.

Have you considered staying home by yourself with a pile of Christmas DVDs and boxes of chocolates? Sounds more fun than what he has planned!

He sounds rather rigid. It would be nice if every other year he would decide to stay in with you at his parents.

Christmas Day is all about pigging out, drinking baileys and slobbing in front of the tv with your jeans undone! I wouldn’t want to be going out either to play boring board games.