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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Buying second hand clothes for DC

148 replies

KatnissMellark · 01/11/2017 13:39

I have bought a large bundle of second hand clothes for my son at each age group to be the bulk of his wardrobe. It means he has many many everyday clothes so I don't have to stress about washing, it's also much cheaper and better for the environment (I hate the idea of something being worn for just a few months then discarded).

We don't need to do this, could afford new but choose to buy second hand due to the environmental reasons more than anything else. A couple of people (friends and family) have mentioned that they find this odd, not really provided any reason why, other than we could afford not to. I do buy him new bits and bobs if I particularly like them or he needs something for a special occasion.

I would (and occasionally do) buy second hand for myself, but tend to have more new things, but do wear them til they wear out completely, so IMO not as wasteful as buying new and discarding after a few months as you have to with a child due to growth.

When he is older and growing more slowly, so getting more use out of things, of course we'll buy more new.

I think second hand is fine for now, AIBU?

OP posts:
Witchitywoo · 01/11/2017 14:50

When I discovered I was pregnant with twins, a friend went and raided all the local charity shops for baby clothes of various ages and bought loads. At first I was a bit meh, but then realised it was the best present ever!! So many choices, could throw them away when outgrown or spoilt without feeling guilty. And one of my favorite outfits for my DD was a set of green cord dungarees with a yellow duck embroidered on the front. Sounds hideous now but she looked so cute!! So ignore those who make disparaging comments and enjoy your plethora of outfits!

Hillarious · 01/11/2017 14:51

Mummyoflittledragon - good for you. DD's favourite item of clothing, often lent out to friends, is a pair of dungarees I bought 33 years ago!

Original poster
KatnissMellark · 01/11/2017 14:53

mummyoflittledragon DS was IVF too, fourth time lucky! I think maybe as I'm not fashionable/into clothes and just see them as functional I feel a bit differently. I bloody hate shopping and love just being able to buy a huge bundle in one easy transaction! I definitely see buying clothes as a chore rather than a pleasure. Also some of your clothes are nearly older than me 😂

OP posts:
FuzzyOwl · 01/11/2017 14:54

I don’t see the issue either.

wasteful as buying new and discarding after a few months as you have to with a child due to growth.

You can always sell them afterwards you know, so no discarding required.

Original poster
KatnissMellark · 01/11/2017 14:57

I could sell them afterwards fuzzyowl but then I've still paid full price for something that only gets worn a handful of times with DS growing like a weed, so wasteful of our money, not necessarily earth's resources. And also,it's far more effort to sell than to buy.

OP posts:
StigmaStyle · 01/11/2017 14:58

God yes I do it, and for myself too. It's not just about saving money or the environment, though they are factors. It's also that with ebay you have so much more choice and can find what you need - like a bigger version of my DS's favourite hoody.

I am middle class, but also not loaded and it makes life easier.

Goldenphoenix · 01/11/2017 15:00

I rarely buy anything new, the kids and i are nearly always in charity shop or Ebay clothes. It's a huge saving and much better for the environment.

viques · 01/11/2017 15:00

Unless the clothes have another child's name emblazoned across the front in day glow sequins then how would anyone know? Do people go around raising their eyebrows and whispering that they have just seen a child wearing a last but one seasons Boden that has (shock horror) been washed?

Orangebird69 · 01/11/2017 15:02

I don't buy 2nd hand for my ds - mainly because I don't like most other people taste in baby/toddler clothes. Denim and joggers for example. Cartoon branding. Slogans. All horrid.

Pancakeflipper · 01/11/2017 15:03

2nd hand clothes are ace!
I used to love my Aunt coming over with my big cousins clothes in huge bags. I even got the training bras.

I was lucky to get given lots of pre-worn clothes when my 1st child as born and I kept them and they were used for my 2nd child. Then they went to a friend for her 1st child and are now on her 4th child. Every time we see them, her husband grabs a one of her boys and announces "look - your clothes are still going strong" and tells me who has got the stuff they are now passing on. Good quality stuff really lasts.

We could afford new stuff and our families bought it loads. But I'd certainly never turn a bag of decent 2nd hand stuff away.
My youngest has SEN and cannot deal well with clothing so we are always buying 1 particular top second hand from ebay as he needs them worn in.

Some of my clothing could be called vintage.

LaurieMarlow · 01/11/2017 15:04

Christmas presents too - it's the Brantleys and Shaniaquinns who get 200 presents whereas those with very comfortably-off parents get much more sensible gifts

This is a properly snobbish and ignorant thing to say. There have been lots of threads on this board explaining the cultural importance of christmas (and excess) to working class families. Are you always so charmless and thick?

Anyway, back to the OP, your approach sounds very sensible, there's great value to be had on ebay bundles. I say crack on love.

SansaryaAgain · 01/11/2017 15:04

I bought plenty of secondhand clothes for DS when he was a baby. Now he's 3 I don't, mainly because 3yos are harder on their clothes so it's harder to find stuff that's in decent condition. But I have no issue with secondhand - I found it hilarious when a particularly snobby woman I worked with said that she'd never buy second-hand for her child but would happily accept hand-me-downs from friends. I can't really see the difference tbh!

MargoLovebutter · 01/11/2017 15:08

Clothes are clothes are clothes. I wear a combination of new and second hand, as do my DC. As long as the clothes are clean, in good condition and you like them - who cares how you came to have them (as long as they are not stolen of course Grin). No one will know, apart from you anyway.

Ifearthecold · 01/11/2017 15:08

I did this for my pair up to about six. I hate shopping, although shopping for DC is better than for me. I feel comfortable because it is a choice for me not a necessity, I might have felt differently if I had to do it. They have very clear styles now at 9 but when younger they didn't.

Jux · 01/11/2017 15:09

Almost everything I have is second hand. I live in charity shop clothes, almost all my books are from charity shops, kitchen stuff, everything. OK, a lot of the furniture is hundreds-of-years-old family antiques, but pretty much everything else was someone else’s discard.

LaurieMarlow · 01/11/2017 15:10

I used to love my Aunt coming over with my big cousins clothes in huge bags

Yes, I remember this well. There was a particular pair of purple cords that were my pride and joy Grin.

FuzzyOwl · 01/11/2017 15:11

So what do you do with the second hand and new clothes that you say you buy for your child if you don’t sell them or pass them on to charity afterwards? Discarding/binning them is surely worse?

LadyinCement · 01/11/2017 15:11

The trouble is with this top trumps of my clothes are more secondhand than yours is that someone , somewhere has to be buying new clothes or else there wouldn't be any secondhand clothes Confused .

So by castigating anyone who buys new things for their dcs means that down the line there won't be any cast offs...

I buy a mixture. No waste here: I've just cleaned the kitchen shelves (I lead such an exciting life!) with one of dd's old vests.

uptheclydeinabananaboat · 01/11/2017 15:11

If I'm offered hand me downs then I take them

Original poster
KatnissMellark · 01/11/2017 15:14

fuzzyowl I'm packing them away for the next DC and plan to pass on to other family babies or will give to charity.

I'm not castigating people who buy new, just wondering if it's a widespread attitude to judge those who choose to buy secondhand, as this has happened twice now when someone has asked where I got DS outfit from. Clearly it works both ways.

OP posts:
reachforthestarseveryday · 01/11/2017 15:15

I bought loads of my dc's clothes second hand until they were old enough to want to go shopping for themselves/showed an interest in what they wore. I saved a fortune!! YANBU at all. Better for the planet too.

butterfly56 · 01/11/2017 15:16

We were used to hand me downs in our big family when I was young.
I used to buy a mixture of second hand and new.
As a group of mums years ago we swapped kids clothes regular long before there were charity shops like today.
I buy always look for good quality second hand clothes on Ebay and have got some real bargains.
I also swap clothes and shoes with my friends and like you say it's about recycling stuff.
My dd has bought quite a few second hand bundles for her kids since they were little for some great prices.

FrenchJunebug · 01/11/2017 15:16

YANBU my son's wardrobe is mostly second hand clothes.

Londonmamabychance · 01/11/2017 15:16

Of course second hand is fine! I think it's definitely the way to go. When kids are small, they grow out of the clothes so quick and it's just a complete waste to throw things out after one child has used it. So why shouldn't your child be part of he chain of re-using things, saving money and the environment?

Not to mention, the wardrobe will be much more eclectic as you'll be likely to have things from many brands and years. Also, you'll be less fussed when your child smears strawberry all over that white top or paints the trousers with felt tip = makes for a child who's confident ding messy play because mum won't go "oh no, you messed up your nice clothes!" - and messy play helps development. Kids should be free to get messy.

Finally, I think it's a snobbish class issue to be ashamed of second hand clothes. I openly and proudly tell everyone that I get second hand things for my DC's. In fact, I brag off the fact that I never bought one item for my DS (now 10 months) apart from a pair of shoes and one cute newborn baby bodysuit I just couldn't let go. Everything he has is hand me downs from friends.

Hand me downs for DD who's 3 have dwindled down so her clothes is 50 pct bought from new, 50 pct bought second hand and hand me downs. I never turn down hand me downs for her, and if I got more, I think I'd never buy her anything part from shoes, which need to fit perfectly (still use second hand shoes for her too though). Also, when I get second hand stuff it's often stuff I wouldnt think of getting myself but turns out to be so cute.

Be proud of being so sensible and forward thinking : )

BertrandRussell · 01/11/2017 15:19

Being poor is crap.

Having your choices massively restricted because you are poor is crap.

Having to buy second hand and having to say no when your child wants something is crap.

That's why poor people will often go for poor quality new rather than good quality second hand. Because it feels good to have choices.