Buying second hand clothes for DC

[KatnissMellark]

I have bought a large bundle of second hand clothes for my son at each age group to be the bulk of his wardrobe. It means he has many many everyday clothes so I don't have to stress about washing, it's also much cheaper and better for the environment (I hate the idea of something being worn for just a few months then discarded).

We don't need to do this, could afford new but choose to buy second hand due to the environmental reasons more than anything else. A couple of people (friends and family) have mentioned that they find this odd, not really provided any reason why, other than we could afford not to. I do buy him new bits and bobs if I particularly like them or he needs something for a special occasion.

I would (and occasionally do) buy second hand for myself, but tend to have more new things, but do wear them til they wear out completely, so IMO not as wasteful as buying new and discarding after a few months as you have to with a child due to growth.

When he is older and growing more slowly, so getting more use out of things, of course we'll buy more new.

I think second hand is fine for now, AIBU?

I do exactly the same, buy a bundle of whatever size DS needs secondhand and then add a few new bits. It means I can get the really nice bits and pieces that I wouldn't be able to afford if I bought all new vests, sleepsuits etc. They grow so fast a lot of secondhand stuff is like new anyway. Not unreasonable at all

Save your money for the teenage years, buy decent secondhand when you can.

My DS is a very tall and slim baby so I would never buy one of those second hand bundles as 80% of it wouldn't fit him. I do buy second hand items in brands I know fit though.

It's a non issue. My kids are often dressed in 2nd hand clothes, most of my 15 month old DD's wardrobe is 2nd hand. This is because I actually would rather have good quality 2nd hand clothes than high street tat and I can't afford the likes of frugi/monsoon etc but that's what I like. My kids look great and it's either been free or pennies compared to what some people buy. I don't buy new toys either as it's such a massive rip off tbh! Spent £9 in oxfam last week on about 6-7 toys which will go in my girls santa sacks. Why waste money unnecessarily? I'd rather spend the money having fun with them and going on holiday etc. I know where my priorities lie! Also it's really nuts to imagine that love could be expressed through clothing and junk, love can't be bought like that! It's a ridiculous notion and I don't buy into it. I'm also not middle class, I'm working class so ner!

To the poster that asked why I invite comments, I don't. Just a few situations where people have commented that DS outfit is nice and asked where it's from, then turned their nose up when I've said eBay/Facebook/whatever. Just wonder what the issue is really, and whether I was missing something. Interestingly, we often get comments about our cars, which we also see as a waste of cash, so always buy something decent, but never new.

It's actually my family that do this more than anyone else. We were very very hard up as kids which has made me very thrifty (am a saver, overpay mortgage etc) whereas my siblings have gone the other way and spend more to ensure their DC don't miss out.

Genuinely wondering to myself if I am silly to do this.

And luckily DS is a shorty podge so everything fits

The only new things I buy are outfits that I really love the look of, or fluffy things that can bobble after a lot of use. Otherwise all my kids are in a mixture of new/presents/hand me downs from cousins and siblings or eBay.

Why ever not? I don't get it? it's part of the "only the best for my son/daughter" attitude, as if second hand clothes are wee stained rags or something 😂

Gosh, I love hand downs and second hand for my kids. You get some cracking (barely worn) stuff on Facebook groups etc.

I do but new shoes and underwear though

I find it bizarre that people like superiordoughnuts find it ok to voice opinions like that. It's like racism, and you should be ashamed

YANBU I would buy most things second hand if I could. I wish more people passed on 'cast offs' but there is still a silly stigma attached.

I really hate the amount of waste in having kids: expensive shoes that last months, plastic toys that get a few plays with, and clothes that are too small too soon.

DW found it hysterical that I refused to buy new shoes to get married in. They were about 3YO, but well made and well looked after- they were fine. I finally threw them away over a decade later.

dinquixote my DH is always laughing at me wearing stuff that's 10 years old. Still looks good and works fine, what's the problem?

I'm with you OP. And when I buy new it's 95% of the time on sale/bought in advance out of season/basics from George or Lidl during baby events.

On the class/money point... when DD was born our cleaner spent the equivalent of a day's earnings on a beautiful outfit for her. The aristocratic wife of a banker who lives next door chucked me a bin bag of very well-worn things that had been through her three DC! Made me smile.

I have always had hand me downs / second hand for me and the kids. Ebay is great. I buy new underwear/swimwear and measured shoes for the kids, but the rest I'll get second hand. Bought a new coat for DD for next year 50p in a local charity shop. Bargain.

😱 a day's pay??! I would hate that!

There s a huge difference between buying second hand because you find it fun, or environmentally sound (both of which I did) and buying second hand because you have to.

Absolutely agree Bertrand. I don't think either should be looked down on though. I'm sure people wouldn't comment if we couldn't afford new.

Clothing a class issue? Eh? Surely if you’ve got someone to hand down baby clothes you say thanks very much?

Inherited furniture was said to have been a class thing , not clothes.

I jokingly say that DD2 never had anything that didn't come out of the loft. It's not so easy now she has an opinion, but wear hand me downs with pride while you can.

I think you sound very sensible. I've always favoured second hand clothes. Why not? Love a bargain.

You are free to do as you choose. Nothing wrong with second hand. I had dd through ivf. And I wanted to go out and choose her clothes just for her and which suited her. I knew I’d only have one baby so I wanted to make the most of her and this was one of my ways of doing so.

I did buy a few secondhand things from eBay and charity shops. Had someone given me clothes in good condition, dd would have worn them as well and I wouldn’t have needed to buy so much stuff. But no one I knew was in a position to give me things. I’ve ebayed or given away most of dds old clothes.

Now that she’s one of the tallest in her class, we get to give some really nice clothes to her friend, whose parents can’t afford to buy her as many clothes. So I’ve bought more and given away more than you intend to. In the process I’ve therefore given pleasure to other children, and parents which is really nice. And as I’m not putting it into land fill, I don’t see how I’m contributing to waste because clothes here get worn to bits, recycled or passed on.

Ooh the classism on this thread makes me want to vom.

Ebay and the like have just about killed off the church and school jumble sales. We had masses of stuff for the DC from the school jumbles - wellies, waterproofs, scouting uniform, coats, jeans, sweatshirts, dresses, dressing up clothes, toys, books, flippers, snorkels - all for very minimal cost, and all sent back to the jumble sale once we'd outgrown them.

And as for keeping your money for when the kids are teens, they'll still be buying second hand, but it comes with the label (and price!) of vintage.

I'm pleased I'm a hoarder - DD delights in the contents of the back of my wardrobe. The outfits look amazing on her. On me, they look like something I've dug out of the back of my wardrobe.

Not unreasonable at all!

I've always done that with my DCs and in one of the bundles I bought recently it had vests that were still in a sealed packet and most of the clothes in there were from Monsoon so I'll have saved a fortune.

They grow quickly and it really is wasteful to always buy new in my opinion.

You have 10yo clothes. I have far older clothes than that including a jacket, which is almost 30.

All my sons clothes from 0 to 9months were secondhand, with the odd new thing like you say for special occasions and such. I see no problem with it if it makes you happy. My partner hated that i bought second hand as, like you, we can afford new but what I said to him and to other people is 'Why spend a small fortune on something that just going to get thrown up on and/or shat on' - shuts them up!