AIBU to stop my Dsis getting an interview?

[Ahhh1234]

So I feel awful to the point I could cry! My sister has applied to my work place for a role that would be in my department and she would be sitting a few seats away.

HR called and asked if I minded her being interview for the position. I said I minded. The reasons being:

1. In every job she's had in the past 4/5 years she's been fired due to her calling in sick, tensions in her teams etc
2. She's very confrontational and doesn't like authority.
3. She doesn't make friends easily
4. If there was a disagreement between her and someone I don't want it to reflect badly on me.
5. I love where I work and get on with everyone so I don't want to rock the boat.

So AIBU to say no to her getting an interview?

I don't think it reflects on you, unless you get personally involved in any way.

Just tell them it's not your problem, and they should hire her or not based on their evaluation, not your opinion.

I simply think that the OP clearly isn't in an especially senior role (just an impression from their pos) and that guilt by association and any other kind of reflection upon them is unlikely to count for anything.

YANBU

YANBU, working with family is very very difficult.

Sounds like she'd fit right in with the total lack of professionalism and confidentiality in your place of work. HR shouldn't have asked you. And if they did ask me, my response would have been, "unless I'm a reference I'm not comfortable getting involved in the recruitment process".

I really hate nepotism and this is just the reverse side of it.

YABU.

She's family, your own sister. You should've told her personally that you didn't think the job was for her instead of going behind her back and doing this. Why don't you get up and actually help her change into an improbable person!

Plus if she's every struggling money wise I hope you are the first person to help her.

YANBU. You're right to preempt any trouble which she might bring to you...she has a terrible track record, so unless you were 100% convinced she's changed, it wouldn't be in your best interests to have her there.
When he was a lot younger, my brother worked in the bar of a club I worked in. He got sacked for bringing a friend in one night for free drinks. My manager was upset telling me...I told them I agreed and it was his own fault. His bad choice, not mine.

It's commonplace. I've been in similar situation, went through the thought process of "...but this is my friend/brother/(now)ex, I should recommend..." and in every instance I've said "don't" and it's been the right thing to do. Circumstantial, of course, but if you don't feel comfortable, don't have them working with you.

Why on earth are HR asking you whether their choice of candidates should be interviewed?

I'm shocked that this is apparently commonplace. How do they know that you just don't bear a grudge against this person? Maybe you were the class bully in school and don't want one of your victims to get the job? It does not sound like a fair process at all.

sukitea

That's what I'm thinking. And is the reason why I think the op WBU. It's not her choice to decide who should be imployed or not. If they wanted a comment about her past track record use one her references! The OP should've kept her mouth shut and talked to her sister instead of selling her out. I feel for her sister

Yanbu

Ok well I'm going through this from a management perspective. The candidate has made a subject access request and every word of information, scribbled note or email about her has to be found photocopied and sent to her. So say one recruiter has emailed the other saying 'have a word with x to see what she thinks' that would need to be disclosed to her.

Don't forget, they will have the sister's CV in front of them - presumably full of fairly short-term posts with lukewarm references perhaps... it doesn't take a genius to look at a CV like that, if what OP says is true, and put two and two together. And that might be very much part of the reason they've asked her.

In my experience, people do ask. BUT - they certainly don't completely go on the word of an acquaintance who yes might indeed have a grudge and secondly, I've found that it's only trusted, longer term employees who the company thinks highly of who would be quietly asked their opinion in this way. And all opinions gathered would be judged alongside the CV. If they're asking OP whether she thinks they should interview, my guess is that they already don't really want to or plan to, but as it's her sister they're kind of trying to find out what the deal is here and why she has applied and whether OP is ok about that. Her CV will at least partly speak for itself!

OP you have done the right thing - make it clear that you don't think she's a good fit and aren't particularly happy about the potential complications.

YANBU

What Fizzy said!

If your dsis has had several short-term jobs and gaps on her CV, that wold be reason enough not to want to interview her. I also think it's good practice for HR to ring a member of staff to ask about her own sister being interviewerd! They weren't asking about a random off the street!

Surely they want to keep OP happy instead of risking employing a new member of staff who could end up being more trouble than she's worth!

OP, you did the right thing.

Totally disagree with you Goddess - Plus if she's ever struggling money wise I hope you are the first person to help her.

OP's sister needs to take responsibility for herself and her own actions. It's not up to OP to bail her out.

YANBU

my sister has been out of work for ages. Her reference history is full of "hard to get on with". She doesn't do networking, doesn't have friends and has asked me many times if I can use my contacts to help.

I don't want my friends or professional contacts going wrong if they employ her. So what I do instead is I send every appropriate job ad I can, but I haven't asked around any of my friends or contacts.

If a job actually came up where she could be in the office with me and reflect badly on me, I would be horrified.

the sad thing is, we get on - but knowing that previous jobs havent even wanted to give references means I simply cannot risk being linked with her work wise.

PS Did your sister tell you she was applying?

Sukitea Friends and Family schemes are pretty standard and have been for years and years, I’m surprised you’ve never come across one.

The reason they know whether to trust your recommendation is because you are a long standing employee of exemplary reputation and excellent performance.

Members of staff who are low performing and difficult to work with are highly unlikely to be asked for their views.

I am extremely careful who I recommend (and school was a very long time ago).

A lot of companies don’t like family members working together - it increases the risk of fraud. And a lot of companies encourage it as it tends to be more productive working towards a common goal.

It can become very incestuous. I’ve worked in two organisations where everyone went to school together/dated each other at some point/were married to each other’s brothers and sister and it caused nothing but strife when family issues spilled into the work place.

There is a lot to be said for keeping business and pleasure apart. Personally I dont like collegues intruding on my private life, hence they arent allowed on my social media. I think you've done the right thing.

The reasons you've given are based on how you feel she would be as an employee and not because you personally don't like her, so I think you've done well. Tbh HR have out you in a no win situation, however I suspect they felt they had reason to do so from her cv.

I've worked in many industries where informal chats happen regarding potential employees. I think it's a lot more common than people would realise.

YANBU. I would of done the same.

How did HR know she is your sister, OP?

"Given my knowledge of her work for other employers I would be very surprised if I was listed as a referee so it's probably best I don't get involved"

You look professional, they get a heads up.

Just to clear some things up. I love my sister, we get on. Even though she can be difficult in our personal life I still care for her. She is not struggling, her partner she lives with earns about 40k plus. She received a 1k rebate recently too.

Her last job she was fired because she told her manager she treats her differently and doesn't treat her with respect. She never has got on with her bosses. She's told me and DM some of the things she's said to them and we have gasped and said you can't say that!

I work in a professional practise. I've worked hard in my exams. They are a great company and are flexible which is great as a have a young D'S. They have been so supportive and I want to progress.

No she didn't tell me she applied which i am a bit annoyed about because I've mentioned before I don't think it would be good to apply to my company. I get the feeling from HR she's applied before from other jobs.

Now another awkward thing is I've got my works big ball on Friday. It's a big occasion. I invited my sister as my guest before this came to light. I'm worried she's going to get drunk and ask around about the job she's applied for. She can be quite intimidating when drunk.

evelyn not sure actually. She just said your sister has applied. She does have an unusual first name and same last name as me which isn't too common either. Unless my sister has said to them I work there