Scottish and English culture and ways of life

[yellowblackgrey]

I wanted to ask if IABU to think that Scottish culture and communication is quite different from the English people interact with each other. The best way I can describe it is that in England if you converse in a middle class environment being direct is considered very rude. I found Scottish people more open to strangers in general, and that people say it as it is rather than talking round and round a point. There is also less passive aggressiveness ime.

AIBU to think the Scottish society is less hierarchical than English society and people talk more openly with each other and more on the same level as well as being more open and friendly toward strangers? I also wonder if there is less snobbery and reverse snobbery in Scotland.

I think this thread is quite good.

I never got over the 'You must come to dinner' thing where people don't mean it. Here in Scotland people say you must drop in. They mean it and get quite huffy if you don't.

I think I am Scottish

I've lived in Edinburgh for over a decade. Before that I lived in Liverpool - quite a contrast! I don't find that people in Edinburgh are unfriendly but they aren't exactly overtly friendly either. There's much less in the way of chit chat with strangers than you get in Liverpool or Glasgow. It's more reserved.

Isn't the difference between northern British and southern British, rather than English and Scottish? People in the north of England tend to be friendlier than those in the south. And more direct. I think some Southerners really struggle with the direct northern thing, whereas I struggle with people who don't say what they mean or say one thing to you and then bitch about you behind your back.

Glasgow is very friendly, but so is Liverpool. Both have massive Irish communities, maybe that's the common factor? Though I studied in Cardiff and found that very friendly too so maybe it's big port cities?

Like the PP above, I'd move to Scotland in a heartbeat if I could persuade DH but he says it's too cold.

I was out (in England where I live) at a large mixed gathering at the weekend.

There were 4 Scottish people there and I remarked to dh on the way home (he’s English) about the differences. He said that he noticed that all of my fellow countrymen were very convivial, seeking to put people at ease, very friendly, lots of bonhomie. He said they all try to put people at ease and draw them out in the conversation and are very interested in who they’re talking to.

He said of himself and his fellow Englishmen that they were much more reserved and chatted mostly only about topics they themselves found interesting.

It’s the ‘endeavouring to put others at ease and drawing them out he said I found interesting - I notice it too.

Dh has literally never mentioned this in 15 years of marriage til this weekend.

And I don’t want anyone to confuse ‘reserve’ with unfriendliness- I’ve lived in England and latterly London for 30 years and I think English people are slightly more reserved.

I’ve no idea who said it but it’s something like ‘a Scotsman will seek to find something quickly in common with you so you can swiftly move on to enjoying yourselves. An Englishman isn’t fussed whether he has something in common with you as he’s not sure whether he’s set out to enjoy himself yet’.

^ Im 100% sure I’ve sort of misquoted that

I think it depends who you are and what your background it. A lot of Scots don’t like the English and vice versa. Despite having a large dollop of both Scots and Southern Irish ancestry, I find both nationalities very rude, abrupt even. It all stems back to colonialism and in some cases it is sectarianism.

"I would say "Are you all right, I get a sense you're not feeling great"."

I have experienced that the mere fact you are asking a politely formulated questions such as this can be seen as nosy. Maybe this has something to do with a greeter need for privacy because the SE of England is more densely populated. It's not about who is nicer there are nice and not so nice ones everywhere you go but more a difference in communication style. I'd say for instance that the sense of community in England is something I have not seen anywhere else in the western world.

I have found people in Edinburgh generally very warm and friendly.

That is lovely as it is certainly not their reputation (and I say that as someone who loves the city dearly). 'You'll have had your tea?' is the phrase most associated with the city and its infamous Morningside ladies

I'm from a fishing town in NE Scotland and they're a bloody odd bunch.. You're either very, very rich and C of S Christian/Baptist - or very poor and go to Assemblies of God. If neither of those you're an outsider - teuchter, eastern european immigrant, or 'not local' and generally not made welcome - in school, workplace etc. Very, very thick dialect too - if you can't join in you're isolated.

My mother had a petrol bomb thrown through letterbox for being English when they first moved here from Cornwall in 1979. I hope that wouldn't happen now but I imagine people are still quite twattish sadly.

Never spent much time in England other than brief holidays in county Durham so can't compare them unfortunately.

yellow " have experienced that the mere fact you are asking a politely formulated questions such as this can be seen as nosy"

yes, I would also be extremely careful to whom I asked that question - I should have said, there's only three colleagues I'd ask (in a massive organisation).

"I'd say for instance that the sense of community in England is something I have not seen anywhere else in the western world."

not sure what this means. I have heard a lot of people say they find Londoners unfriendly; I don't think so at all, but you're not alone if that's what you're feeling.

I would say west coast Scottish people friendly. I am born and bred in Edinburgh where we have a reputation for being more reserved!

It should be noted that Scotland isn't one lump of sameness, My Scottish BIL, is I think correct when he states that if you arrive around teatime in the east coast you get, "you'll have had your tea then" and if you arrive in the west coast you get, "you'll be wanting your tea then". He comes from the east coast but lives in the west coast and feels there are clear cultural differences.(obviously people are still people and everyone is different)

Going to enjoy this thread later. Just wanted to add though don’t discount Edinburgh, yes passive aggressive is our favourite past time but only because aggressive aggressive is so west coast . It’s a city with the feel of a villiage and soon you’ll be chatted about and around and feel right at home.

Ifear what a load of nonsense! You’ll have had your tea then is a decades old trope.

Here in Scotland people say you must drop in. They mean it and get quite huffy if you don't

I'd be quite glad if you didn't! Never a good idea to generalise.

From my experience of visiting both Glasgow and Edinburgh, Glasgow is so much friendlier
Ask directions in Glasgow and the person will probably walk you there , even if it’s out of their way

As PP said OP. Utter pish.

Apart from anything else, we’ve found much more inverse snobbery in Scotland. We also encountered many so called pillars of the community happy to be openly aggressive towards others. Neither were problems we ever encountered in England. I’m not saying they don’t exist, just we’ve rarely seen them.

For context, we’re Scottish, lived in W.London 20 odd years, moved back to small town E.Scotland.

I'm from Edinburgh and recently went to York. I couldn't believe how friendly people were. They were much mire chatty.

Having said that I am quite happy with Edinburgh levels of chat!

Scottish here. From the English folk I know living here they have said the Scots are more friendly, open and laid back. More welcoming too and also described other English folk, towns and cities as "too cliquey".
However, Edinburgh is a rude place I think. People in a kind of pretentious land.
the rest of Scotland is lovely though :)

whithoutacare
Peterhead?

i hear you completely.

miss I didn't mean he had invented it just that it sums up a wider cultural difference between the east and west coast of Scotland. His parents are from the east coast and he is clear that they and their friends follow this model, I am from the west coast and think I came from a very hospitable culture. I also wanted to be clear that I wasn't personally critiquing the east coast culture as I don't have that much to do with it. These are sweeping generalisations by their very nature but it doesn't mean they are total fiction.

I'm from Glasgow. Lived and worked in London for 10 years. I had a reputation at work for being what the majority of the folk from the Home Counties considered blunt.

My DH is from Kent. We recently moved to Scotland. He is generally startled that supermarket cashiers, our builder, the postman, our neighbours, the cat's vet etc will have shared fairly intimate details about their lives within minutes of meeting them

He quite often says to me 'God - your people like to talk' when he's late back from appointments or meetings.

I was born and grew up in NE Scotland with one English and one foreign parent, and my experience was similar to withoutacare's.

Aberdeen was mainly OK, but in the village we lived in for 5 years, if your whole family for several generations weren't local then you were an outsider and unwelcome. Being English was the worst crime.

I now live in the London suburbs and find it very friendly and welcoming. It's true that there's a general underlying rule that you should try to minimise your impact on other people, which might feel strange/unfriendly if you're not used to it, but it's how we reduce the stress of crowded living.

The thing I love most about this part of England is that so long as you're not a twat to other people, you can be and do whatever the hell you like and people are genuinely accepting.

withoutacare Peterhead? Or the Broch?? rest assured #notallteuchtarsaregodbotherersorarseholes I grew up in the rural NE of Scotland, lived in a few Scottish cities, middle England (Warwickshire) and now live in the far north of Scotland.
All full of very different people.
Unfriendliest place? Warwickshire, sorry! I found it quite an odd place to live, and despite making an effort, never felt at home there, or as if I was ever anything more that tolerated. That said, there are arseholes everywhere, and where I live now is touted as one of the happiest places in the UK to live. Yeah..that's bollocks!
Scottish people do tend to be more direct (I think!) but as pp commented, we don't have time to 'go round the houses' when we talk - we've got to get home before the sleet starts!
Long story short, some people have this real Scottish/English divide thing going on, and it's pathetic. I don't, for a second, think that English people are awful, and I'm polite and friendly to every single person who's polite and friendly to me, regardless of their accent.
Ps, surely it's an Embra face if you're truly from Edinburgh?