Scottish and English culture and ways of life

[yellowblackgrey]

I wanted to ask if IABU to think that Scottish culture and communication is quite different from the English people interact with each other. The best way I can describe it is that in England if you converse in a middle class environment being direct is considered very rude. I found Scottish people more open to strangers in general, and that people say it as it is rather than talking round and round a point. There is also less passive aggressiveness ime.

AIBU to think the Scottish society is less hierarchical than English society and people talk more openly with each other and more on the same level as well as being more open and friendly toward strangers? I also wonder if there is less snobbery and reverse snobbery in Scotland.

I have one English parent and one Scottish parent. I was born in England and my DH was born in Scotland. I have spent half my adult life in England and half in Scotland. I have a child born in England and one born in Scotland. I feel sufficiently well qualified to say there is absolutely no merit in your observations whatsoever OP.

I could write a post as long as your arm about this

In terms of Edinburgh it really does depend on the type of life your living which obviously affects the people you meet.

There are very rich to very poor, closed of passive aggressive to open and friendly to, aggressive and down right nasty. To everything in between!

It's small compared to lots of cities but it's packed with people from all over the world and all social economic backgrounds so there's lots of choices in the type of person you spend time with!

You can in half an hour on one bus route go from million pound houses with people wearing clothes worth thousands and living lives some can only dream of to the poorest areas with people wearing 10 year old tracksuits with a pocketful of 1p's to take to the shop because they won't have money for days to come.

I have always loved the Scottish for their frankness and convivial approach. If only it wasn't so freezing I would move up there in a heartbeat such a pretty country (I digress).

As a massive generalisation, yes I would say in my experience they are different

Have you ever been to Edinburgh, OP?

OP can you give an example of what you mean?

I'm a Londoner and as an example, if a colleague was looking unwell and I was concerned I wouldn't say "you look terrible", I would say "Are you all right, I get a sense you're not feeling great".

Is that a lot of tiptoeing around "are you ill and do you need to go home and/or can I do anything to help?"

Similarly I hate it when people say "you look tired" even if it is an expression of concern.

Poppycorn what on earth is the OP's opinion got to do with the SNP? What a bizarre point you made there?!

Many years living in Scotland - which I loved. I still visit on a regular basis as I have family there. Yes it has its faults like anywhere else, but it's such a stunning place, and I'd agree that typically people are friendly there. But I live in Yorkshire at the moment which is also generally a friendly place.

The thing about Scotland is that its population density is so vastly different to being down south. It's 32% of the total landmass of the UK but only has about 9% of the total UK population living there. So in very simple terms you are far more likely to meet people that you know - or get to know familiar faces quickly, because there are fewer people living there.

Wonderful place. I'd move back in a shot.

Without meaning to add to the controversy, you seem to be taking middle-class Londoners as indicative of all English people, which I feel may be a mistake...

As long as we understand that it's a bit of a generalisation then I think you are right. In my experience, Scottish people (with the odd exception) are generally more friendly whilst English folk (with the odd exception) are generally less so.
Glasgow is one of the friendliest cities I've ever visited.

I'd also agree with the extremes in Edinburgh. As a PP has said you have multi-million pound properties cheek by jowl with schemes that have very high levels of deprivation.

It's one of my favourite places to go and I loved every minute of living there. I didn't find class or snobbery too much of an issue - you get arses everywhere but that's par for the course. In honesty I always found it was telling people I lived in Edinburgh which prompted an automatic assumption of snobbery - especially if you were in the 'other' city

Blanca87 are you from Scotland? The snp do fuel the whole we are very different as it suits their agenda.

people say it as it is rather than talking round and round a point.

We're in a hurry to get home before the rain starts

Crochet you spelled "sleet" wrong

I'm Southern English, DH is from the Midlands but Yorkshire ancestry, and I've lived in Scotland (Aberdeen).
I think you have to look at the population density - where there are lots of people in a small space (London and SE, but other cities UK and worldwide), people tend to be less "overly friendly" because people have to live so close that privacy is highly valued. Similarly if you live very close to your neighbours you try to be less direct - as conflict is more dangerous and harder to get away from.
It does lead to the joke/observation that whether or not you say Hello to a stranger you meet depends on what is under your feet. So on a country walk - greet everyone. But in town no one greets anyone but close friends and acquaintances.

"I'm direct me; take it or leave it, I say what I think" seems to be an excuse for stupidity and a lack of ability to think before opening your mouth.

"Straight talking" is synonymous with 'unable to keep polite company.

There are glaring differences between the Scottish / N. English and people with a little civility.

My in-laws were upper-middle class/verge of landowning class Scots in the north of the country. Their children went to boarding schools in England and not encouraged to have local accents.

Their lives were governed by rules on conduct and manners that even Nancy Mitford might have found restrictive.

My parents in London were far, far more relaxed.

I have found people in Edinburgh generally very warm and friendly.

Really? I'm from Edinburgh but have lived in Glasgow for the past few years. It has taken me a really long time to get used to how much warmer and friendlier people are here.

DH (Glaswegian) jokes when we are walking past charity collectors that I should "put my Edinburgh face on" so that they don't talk to us!

I’m from the west of Scotland and the only major difference I have noticed with a few people on multiple occasions is that in general people from the west of Scotland tend to say no when asked if they need help/petrol money/something brought to a party etc. I do it myself. It is not real. Actually they expect the person offering to offer a few more times and then they will gracefully give in. I’ve noticed a few times that English people (or at least the English people I know) don’t seem to grasp this and give up after the first time. I don’t know if this is generalisable to other parts of Scotland but it is just something I’ve noticed over the years.

I'm Edinburgh to the bone. I have an Edinburgh face. We need to be self contained in the face of strangers or else literally everybody would move here.

See also: midges and shite weather in the Highlands.

Having said all that, nothing prepared me for public transport in London. Now that's next level blank facing.

I've lived in both Glasgow and Edinburgh. I found the Edinburgh folk to be a little more reserved than Glaswegians when I moved, but both cities much more friendly and open than the south of England.

Come to Edinburgh! We're lovely

I have an Edinburgh face
I have lived in the SE of England for over 30 years but am Scottish and now live up here in the Borders half the time. We're rural and I know everybody so everybody's friendly more or less. If they're not then I'll make them speak! However you have to be part of the community and have known their grannies cousins and uncles for years. What is different here is that when you enter a room everybody will look at you directly to see who you are. None of this blank face business.
People are nice everywhere though in my experience.

"Straight talking" is synonymous with 'unable to keep polite company.

Superior I think you don't understand it if you don't come from it, or aren't used to it.

There is such a thing as being simply rude, but you can be straight-talking without being rude. It's not about picking on people's failings or being hurtful – it's just about being straight. It's the opposite of that thing where people don't say what they really mean or want and you're supposed to guess. To me, that's really difficult to deal with and demanding, because you're supposed to know what they mean and if you don't they're pissed off.

It's just a different culture and different kind of civility.

Morris :o I want to see your face now to see if it's the classic "Edinburgh face" I know so well!

I actually have had great experiences in London. It's blank face all round when it's business as usual, because I think in big crowds people withdraw into themselves. But if someone is in need or there's a crisis, Londoners are fabulous. When I had horrendous morning sickness on a tube, several people helped me off, making themselves late, bought me water from a machine and stayed with me until I was OK. I find less of that attitude in Edinburgh. Edinburgh doesn't seem to see itself as a community, as such.

I actually helped a blind old lady across the road in Edinburgh the other day - literally. She was standing still, turning around anxiously and obviously waiting for help as I walked towards her. Multiple other people passed her first.