to take my DD to see a G.P for fussy eating

[guiltynetter]

...or would I just be wasting their time?

Am at my wits end with DD3. she eats around 5 different foods and that’s it. nothing particularly healthy. I asked my HV for help, and we went on an 8 week NHS run ‘fussy eaters’ course. it was actually called happy healthy toddlers. It was okay, but in the 8 weeks she didn’t improve at all, and the lady who ran the course said she had a severe case of food neophobia (trying new foods) they said to keep trying new stuff.

6 months on she has not tried anything new despite trying every day, and her range of foods is getting smaller. I’m desperate. I can’t go out with my friend to a soft play place today because she won’t eat anything off the menu.

Do you think the GP would be able to do anything or is it a bit pointless?

I agree with not encouraging a child to eat something or praise them if they do eat a new food. Am also not one for ‘no pudding if you don’t eat your main’ either. Food on table, let them eat what they want from choice presented (which includes foods they do like) and no praise, forfeiting pud, or expressing sadness, irritation if they choose not to eat what’s offered. There shouldn’t be any emotional mileage involved in eating. Really easy to say and bloody hard to do.

Encouragement doesn't need to be pressure, behaviour changes as a result of either positive or negative associations being made, if there is no positive or negative, the behaviour won't change and the child won't eat. If there is only negative then the diet will become even more restrictive.

I did it hard not showing my frustration when dd doesn’t eat (she’s fussy) and I do praise her for trying food she’s not tried before. Trying can be as simple as having the tiniest nibble of something.

She also seems to have an issue with reflux and complains about heartburn. I’ve not taken her to the doctor because my previous experiences is that they don’t give a monkeys about reflux unless you keep pushing them. But dd is looking a bit skinny again and hasn’t been eating much due to illness :(

Writing that out will make me book a doctors appointment now!!

Sorry amelia but the encouragement itself Is the pressure. Even a very simple “would you like to smell it?” Lays down a choice where the child has to choose between smelling it to please you or declining and disappointing you. Regardless of how nicely you ask and how much smiling you do, that child knows you want them to do it and will be disappointed if you don’t. They know they have an issue with food, they know why you are asking them to smell it, they know they are being patronised by the “it’s ok if you don’t want to, no-one will be disappointed”. They know.

I have had a lot of issues with this as I have an autistic child who had a very restricted diet of three or four items and that's it. Once she started at a specialised school, we started a programme to tackle it. It has worked, but slowly she is accepting more and more different foods albeit in small quantities.
Start with a tiny piece of something ie half a fingernail size followed by a known / accepted food. Gradually increase the quantity and do this v slowly and then start to add another tiny piece of another new food. I started with fruit as this meant I wouldn't be cross about the expense or the hassle of cooking lots of new stuff. It has taken about a year but she is now much improved although it is a work in progress. We also had to cope with lots of screaming in the initial days, but as there was such a small quantity it was quickly over. There are things she dislikes and that's fine she doesn't have to eat them, but she will now eat some veg, some fruit, pasta, tomato sauce, pesto sauce, chips, small amounts of sausage and potatoes, yoghurt, pizza, small amounts of rice and ravioli, bread and cheese. I wouldn't bother with dieticians and the GP they will simply signpost you to info about what is a healthy diet which is pretty infuriating when you know what they should eat just not how to get them to eat it!

My youngest DS has always been a very fussy eater & seemed to exist on thin air. I eventually mentioned it to the GP when DS was 10 or 11 and the GP decided to run blood tests which showed absolutely nothing abnormal. I relaxed about his eating habits after that & stopped worrying. He's now 20 and a skinny 6'3 so he must have been getting some nutrition into him. His diet is still quite limited, but he's very healthy.

DS1 was a fussy eater for a bit, he wouldn't eat 'protein' (meat, cheese, egg, etc). He would eat other dairy, so got some protein. Started when he began to get 'real food' until he was about 2 1/2. The doctor gave me some protein powder (he was a premie and still low on the growth charts) and said to add a bit to the foods he would eat. He also said to put a spoonful/a bite of something he didn't like on a separate dish and just quietly put it down near his meal but say nothing. Then to make a big deal out of enjoying it ourselves off our own plates. His curiosity often got the best of him and he'd pick it up and smell it, maybe take a nibble and put it back or eat it all and sometimes even ask for more. The doctor said to pay no special attention to him, neither punish nor reward, but if he did eat it to put a bit on his plate next time. It seemed to work as he stopped being fussy over a period of a few months. I think once we took the pressure off and didn't coax he felt 'safe' in trying something new.

I agree with Battered. For me it was phobic. I really wanted to please my parents by eating things. I really wanted to be able to make them happy like my siblings did but I would look at the food and feel my throat close up. I lived on marmite and crackers for about 15 years.

My son is nowhere near as bad as I was but he is a fussy eater. My rule is that at the end of every meal the children can always have fruit and yoghurt and I ensure there is something on the table he likes which he can fill up on. I don't force it and he has got more willing to try things. I have had shitty comments from other parents who believe that you should force and maybe if I hadn't experienced it myself I would be tempted.

I have also found that looking at the things he likes and finding food with a similar texture or taste to add to our table has helped. Look at the foods she will eat. What do they have in common? I found smell and texture was often more of a barrier than flavour.

For me, trying something is as much of a success as eating it all and it has got better. I have got my son a bit more involved in the mealtimes and where possible, I put things in a central dish and let them serve themselves. It takes the pressure off and lets him feel in control.

Above all, please don't make her feel that it is success or failure. For me it was the equivalent of asking an anachrophic to pick up a spider and then be disappointed when they couldnt.

I meant no fuss made if she didn’t eat , even now when she finds something new that she will eat it’s like a mini celebration ( she’s 18) .

My HV told me that the pasta and cheese and an apple that was all my DD would eat at 2 was enough of a balanced diet and not to fret. (which of course I was)

She is now 24 and still fussy by adult standards but eats and cooks a reasonably wide range of foods

I never understand these threads.
OP says "she eats around 5 different foods" and then lists at least 8 foods the kid eats. Some of the foods listed probably include something with it, like butter on the toast, to extend the list. Exaggerated, much?

It is unusual to have a kid who won't eat or drink any of: milk, sweets, biscuits, ice cream, chocolate, cake, colas, chips, crisps, squash, fruit juice... tbf.

I know a teenager who literally only eats/drinks 5 different things. Exactly & only 5. Milk is the healthiest item on his list.

My brother ate cheese sandwiches on white bread with tomato ketchup and very little else for years. He survived just fine

Not sure of your point lljkk. It’s still a very limited diet. People under stress don’t always remember all the details. OP hardly set out to trick us into giving her advice for her child who eats perfectly

I strongly suspect the child eats all the foods OP listed, plus all the foods I listed, and a lot of other things. That the only thing wrong with OP's situation is her own perception.

That's what I cannot understand. Is how people get such a distorted perception or why they say "I despair because kid only eats 5 foods" and it will turn out the kid actually eats a few dozen different things.

You're right. I should not reply to MN threads because I cannot understand them.

But if the child is not eating well enough and making themselves ill, leaving them to our isn't an option either.

OP said her DD eats “around 5 different foods”

She listed plain rice, chicken nuggets, tomato soup, plain pasta, fish fingers, toast, yoghurts, cheese, strawberries, mango.

So ten things. Not dozens and not a normal diet. Enough to be worried about, enough to want to increase her variety of foods, enough to ask for advice. Which is the point of the thread.

The most useless advice I got when mine were on a very fussy restrictive diet are the following:

Just eat together - We did most of the time
Just cook together - Tried not interested in trying anything
Just serve what you eat and they will eat - no they didn't
Just put 'looky' food on their plate and eventually they will eat it - No they didn't

It's so frustrating because in my case it was not a 'real' problem as in food phobia or anxiety it was total refusal which happened about one day when he was around 2.5. Now when I look back I can see that it could have stemmed from his childminder who forced him to eat and also the fact that he wasn't a tantruming terrible two's kind of a child and it could have been a control thing.