to take my DD to see a G.P for fussy eating

[guiltynetter]

...or would I just be wasting their time?

Am at my wits end with DD3. she eats around 5 different foods and that’s it. nothing particularly healthy. I asked my HV for help, and we went on an 8 week NHS run ‘fussy eaters’ course. it was actually called happy healthy toddlers. It was okay, but in the 8 weeks she didn’t improve at all, and the lady who ran the course said she had a severe case of food neophobia (trying new foods) they said to keep trying new stuff.

6 months on she has not tried anything new despite trying every day, and her range of foods is getting smaller. I’m desperate. I can’t go out with my friend to a soft play place today because she won’t eat anything off the menu.

Do you think the GP would be able to do anything or is it a bit pointless?

You have some good advice, but if like to add my story for inspiration.
My DD was very fussy at a similar age. I did pretty much what Batterd said: food on plate, no fuss and ignoring any comments from her about the food she didn't like. No results.
However, life was hectic at the time (a newborn) and often the dinner table wasn't tidied till later. So the food was just sitting on a plate... My DD started eating her (cold) dinner once everyone had left the table and nobody was watching. I think she was hungry but with both parents busy elsewhere, there was no alternative food available. Anyway, it took her some time but eventually she started eating dinner with us.

Op, what are the foods she eats? Does it include any milk, fruit/veg or protein? You mentioned chicken nuggets so if she eats those, maybe a piece of banana and a cup of milk at some point during the day she's getting enough nutrients.

@honeycombcrunch she eats tomato soup (tinned) plain pasta with nothing on it, fishfingers, toast, yoghurts, cheese, that’s about it.

My Dc1 is the same and I was a child and so was my mum, so clearly genetic.
We have found the best approach to back off. No fuss meal times, he gets what he likes and always we offer what we are having. If he tries a new food we make a huge fuss. We talk about his fears often and how his brain is making him scares to try new things, a bit like I am scared of spiders. We never make him feel bad. I am hugely protective of him of other people try.

I have personal experience and know that I had to figure it out, pressure didn't work at all.

The Gp told my mum it's about quantity not quality. I practise the same. My dc gets lots of bread and butter and yogurt and milk to fill him up and he loves pasta. He also eats chicken and Turkey in forms of nuggets etc. He will tolerate apples.

It's hard, it really is, but don't make a big thing out of it.

Does she eat any fruit or veg at all?

Is she growing ok?

Does she take multivitamins? Is she particular about a certain bread or cereal? Does she drink milky drinks?

We had the same issue with my 4yr old. We went to the Dr who referred us to HV. We then saw the community paediatrician. She was lovely and we had an hour long appointment. From there bloods were taken and my DS was diagnosed with coeliac disease. We are still struggling with food but we can now begin to understand where the reluctance may come from. I had also investigated ARFID and SED (google them for info). V interesting and worth a look at the info online about that. Worth getting your DD bloods checked.

she eats strawberries and occasionally some mango, no vegetables. she doesn’t take multivitamins, i have tried giving her the ones like sweets (chews then spits them out) and hiding the liquid one in things but she can always tell. she is fine for height and weight, but constantly asks for food, and is always hungry. this i find most stressful.

chipsahoy i wonder if it’s genetic too, i was the same as a child.

I wouldn’t assume it’s genetic but it might be. I have a very fussy DD but she eats enough good things. My friend strongly feels that I could have helped her by persisting with calmly introducing the same foods and nothing else with no fuss until she ate them even if she went hungry. I don’t know how I feel about this as don’t think I could feel happy doing this ! But my same friend’s 2 year old went from not liking vegetables to being given 4 days of vegetable based meals he had to eat or go hungry and he now asks for celeriac and all sorts

Ie she won’t give her children a choice and takes a very strong stance when they are tiny. I think it’s complicated though and also there can be an underlying reason- dd had undiagnosed allergies and I think associated food with stomach pain as a baby and toddler

So tomato soup, plain pasta, fishfingers, toast, yoghurts, cheese, rice, chicken nuggets, strawberries and mango - and that is everything.

Is she constipated or refluxy? Are there other concerns about her development?
The gp may refer you to a dietician, but she eats a range of foods (even if it is limited) and is growing, so they may not.

What does she drink? Does she go to preschool?

Hi BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried it's really useful to hear of your experience - I have a very picky DD, though it's slowly getting better. Do you know if you became picky as a toddler, or were always food averse? (DD also drinks a lot of milk - we use a mix of toddler formula for the vitamins and cows milk).

We have seen dietitians, and I recently found a food diary for DD when 15 months old. In a typical day she ate 4 cherios and 1/4 of a cracker (and well over a litre of milk). It is somewhat better now, but a friend's birthday party at the weekend highlighted what a limited range of food she'll eat - it just feels normal to us now.

Do you know if you became picky as a toddler, or were always food averse?

Apparently I ate everything until I went to nursery aged 2/3. My mum reckoned something was happening at nursery at meal times to put me off eating. Maybe the food wasn’t nice. I have no memory of it.

How old is DD and what’s her height/weight like?

I think if those are ok and she has enough energy I wouldn’t take her. I know so many toddlers who are like this - some who will only eat one or two foods for over a year. They all grew out of it except one who was still eating ‘nursery’ food only (fish fingers, chicken nuggets, pizza, yoghurt etc) when she started uni! If DD is well, doesn’t have digestive problems, has energy to run around and is a good weight and height I’d try ignore it as maddening as it is.

I was a very picky eater as a child. I started by eating everything and then gradually reduced what I ate until aged 3, I ate bread, cheese, chips, fish fingers, chips, peas and carrots, apples and bananas. I stopped drinking milk at the same time.
My Mum made me have school dinners and I ate nothing as we were forced to eat most of what was on our plate and I got be a master at hiding it so I didn’t have to eat anything. (There were always apples and bananas for pudding so I did at least eat something.)
My Mum then gave up at when I was 11 and went to secondary - I had packed lunches and once the pressure was off, I started to try things that I hadn’t eaten previously. I now eat a much more varied diet, I still can’t eat eggs, anything based on milk or cream or fatty meat, and any mashed textures. I agree with BatteredBreadedorSouthernFried, serve up something she likes with new foods and leave her to it. So for example, when Mum took the pressure off dinner might be a roast - help yourself but I could have bread instead of the potatos and then I’d have the peas, carrots and then usually try a bit of meat. Or pasta bolonaise ended up as plain pasta and cheese.

@hazeyjane she is occasionally constipated. she drinks water and milk.

thanks for everyone’s suggestions! i just feel like everybody saying ‘serve up foods she likes with ones she doesnt’ well i’ve been doing that for well over 6 months and not one morsel has crossed her lips. so i’m not convinced it’s going to work. i just find it hard at mealtimes she eats tomato soup almost daily! so boring.

I was also the same as a child. My DM took me to the GP who just said that I was alive and growing and so there was nothing to worry about. My diet still isn't great and isn't heavy on fruit and veg but I'm still alive and healthy.

In your situation I would start to mix the food she already eats

1. pasta using the tomato soup as sauce
2. pasta using the tomato soup as sauce with cheese
3. pasta using the tomato soup with cheese and chopped up fishfingers or chicken nuggets mixed in (let her see you do it so she knows what she's eating)
4. pasta using a very basic tomato pasta sauce (blended if necessary to remove lumps) with cheese and chopped up fishfingers/chicken nuggets
5. pasta with pasta sauce, cheese and fishfingers/ chicken nuggets without the batter
6. pasta with pasta sauce, cheese and chopped fish/ chicken breast

etc

strawberries and mango every single day without fail for the vitamins with something else on offer too. She might try it if she's bored.

It is boring, but it’s at least a variety of food. I think you can continue to offer new food but she gets to decide whether to eat it. One day she might, or she might not. You’re doing your job. Even being around new food without eating it is probably helpful if there’s no presssure to eat it. There’s still a benefit even if she doesn’t try it. Right now she’s getting enough food and at least a couple of different food sources. It appears that pressure will have the opposite to the desired affect. I think you know your child and you just keep doing what you can do.

She’s probably frequently hungry because the things she eats are higher in sugar/ lower in fibre but I don’t know if there’s much you can do with that. Serving cheese with the soup will give her a bit of fat and protein that will keep her fuller longer, put strawberries with yoghurt to up the fibre. Milk if she drinks is a great complete snack as it has fat, protein and carbohydrates. If you can, pairing the simple carbs she will eat (rice, pasta, toast) with either fat or protein she will eat (chicken nuggets, cheese, milk) may well help with hunger.

@MSQueen33

It could be that other foods are uncomfortable for her or upset her stomach (or does she fear that they will?). It’s quite common for coeliacs to not tolerate dairy while their gut is healing for example.

I know it probably feels like forever but 6 months isn't long at all.

Eating is one of the few things children have complete control over. I know you're probably desperate for her to try things and I'm not saying you're making a big deal about it or anything but kids do pick up on your stress without you even saying/doing much.

Once you accept that there is nothing you can do to force her to eat and just provide the food and not stress over it, she may pick up on that you're genuinely not bothered and make it easier for her. It could take years though, sorry.

My DB was similar to your DD until secondary school but as an adult eats literally everything, is a fantastic cook and eats healthier than most people I know.

Has your DD heard you talk about her food issues to people, friends/family, on the toddler eating course? If she is aware you are stressed over it/it is an issue it can make it harder.

My DF's son ate nothing but petit filous and bread for almost a year. Absolutely nothing but those two things. He's now a strapping 15yo rugby player.

I was a 'fussy' child and as it turns out, as an adult, I am allergic to many of the foods I refused to eat as a child. Eggs made my ears itchy - my parents thought I was being silly. Pineapple made my lips burn, cucumber made me nauseous, apples made me vomit. Apparently all in my head. 🙄

The scratch test my allergist performed last year was vindication for me. Finally someone could reassure me that it wasn't fussiness - I was a very intuitive eater who was forced to eat my allergens, with lots of tears and vomiting. And all sorts of issues with food as an adult.

Read up on allergies and intolerances and see if your child fits the profile.

Two of my children would eat anything, the eldest was extremely food sensitive. Luckily for him I was the same and was able to understand his issues. I absolutely would not take her to the Doctorsbut accept that is part of who she is. I know it is worrying, I know that you are often judged by others and that you can feel like a failure. As long as she is healthy, I would let her eat what she likes. As for those who say make her go without, she won't starve that is barbaric. When my mother used to pick,me up from nursery, (backin the 50s) I would be sitting at the lunch table with the meal still on n front of me. "Until I learned my Lesson"

My eldest (now in his 40s) is very sensitive to smells, can detect garlic/onion in Food from a hundred paces. Although he now eats a bigger range of food he still has things he cannot tolerate. He has 4 children, one of which has also been described as a fussy eater. I believe that food sensitivity is an inherited condition.

Have you tried getting her to help prepare food? No pressure to eat it but even getting her to touch different foods is a starting point.

Ds is under a dietician for his restricted diet as he also eats tiny portions and was losing weight and tbh it hasn’t helped at all other then prescribing him “build up” drinks

well i’ve been doing that for well over 6 months and not one morsel has crossed her lips. so i’m not convinced it’s going to work.

Does it have to work right now? She is eating, she is healthy. 6 months is really not long at all. TBH though, you need to accept that this is how she eats. It may not change for a long time. You are stressing yourself out by continually looking for the “breakthrough”. She is happy eating what she is. Why do you need to win? She absolutely will be picking up on your anxiety and the pressure on her to eat different foods.

i just find it hard at mealtimes she eats tomato soup almost daily! so boring.

For you. Boring for you. Which is irrelevant because you aren’t eating it. For her it’s exactly what she wants to be eating and feels safe eating.