Wedding Invite

[outofmydepth45]

AIBU I have spent ages having my invites designed and have been sending them out. Surprised at the amount who haven't acknowledged the invite yet but had a few texts says they are lovely.

One of my closest friends hasn't said anything , I text and said have you had chance to open your invite? she said no we are eating breakfast.

Just seen on Facebook (yes I know!) She's been out with our larger group who I all saw at the weekend so I wasn't invited (not that I expect to be invited to everything).

I have a high workload so don't see people as much as I'd like, so guess I'm no longer invited to stuff? Am I being precious about the wedding invite, I only gave to her it in person Friday.

So I'm annoyed no response to my invite and not invited out AIBU and WWYD

[2014newme]

It is a bit cringe to be texting people to ask whether they've opened the invitation 😂😂😂 if you're going to do that you may as well send the invites by text.
Please tell me you don't have a wedding website 😂

[outofmydepth45]

Lol no wedding website

Now I realised I text about a bloody wedding invite, I'm off to eat breakfast prior to reading post !

[Musicaltheatremum]

Trouble is the invite will end up in the bin once the wedding is over. At the end of the day it's just a piece of paper. Sad though as I'm sure you are really excited. Have a great day when it comes.

[LazyDailyMailJournos]

Sorry OP YABU.

I've had a couple of very impressive looking wedding invites and it would never occur to me to message the B or G to tell them how amazing it looked!

I think you've slipped down the wedding rabbit hole. So much prep and planning goes into it that it is so easy to get caught up and then upset when people don't take any notice of all the work that you've done. But you've acknowledged this and can therefore be saved from the full-on Bridezilla attack

[putdownyourphone]

My friend did this - she sent out the invite 4 months before her wedding with an RSVP date 2 months away, and when I hadn't replied in 2 weeks she text me and asked if I had got her invite as I hadn't said anything yet?? I was pregnant and unwell, I couldn't believe that someone was chasing me for a reply before the RSVP date.

I'm sure your friends know when your wedding is, and they have other things going on in their lives 2 months before your wedding. And the invite look good in your opinion. I'm sorry but YABVU.

[YellowMakesMeSmile]

Do you think you weren't invited to the meal as they didn't want to spend the time on wedding talk?

Nobody pays any attention to invites bar checking the date and who is actually invited (i.e. Spouse, children). Very bridezilla to expect people to gush over them and text if they haven't.

A wedding is about the exchange of vows, everything else isn't needed or important.

[expat38matt]

I recently advised a soon to be married colleague not to drop the thousands she was planning too on invites - no one cares about the paper or the font it’s just the information that counts! Honestly don’t be offended !

[whiskyowl]

Seriously, it's a wedding invite - however nice it is, most people will open it, glance at the date, and look at their calendars, then RSVP as/when they have time/when they are reminded to do so. If you seriously expect your entire guest list to text you compliments on every aspect of your design decision-making, you are going to be sorely disappointed. People are busy!

It's shit of your friends not to invite you out, though. Could it be that you've given the impression that you're never available - I would maybe just make gentle contact about that, making it clear you will always try to find time without making it appear that you expect to be invited.

[expat38matt]

On another note are u upset they excluded you from a night out this weekend ? That is understandable. Do u know any of them well enough to ask why and expect a proper reply ?

[ZoeWashburne]

A good piece of advice to keep you grounded: no one cares as much about your wedding as you do. Your wedding is just not as special to other people as it is to the couple.

It’s hard to keep perspective. However, as a guest, I have been to 9 weddings already this year. Faffing over all of them would have been a full time job. I love them all and was so happy to celebrate them, but everyone gets one day of constant attention for their wedding. Not weeks and months.

[dropthemic]

I actually don't agree with other posters. If it's a close friend I would be upset that they haven't even opened the invitation yet. It's a bit rude. My friend got married recently,put a lot of effort into her invitations. Of course I made a fuss in complementing them, because a)they were amazing and I could see the effort and b) it was important to her and she was very excited about me seeing them. She was the bride and entitled to a bit of fuss. If it was some distant cousin is say you are being unreasonable,but you handed it to her in person. Not that hard to txt to say the invite was lovely.

[treaclesoda]

Not that hard to txt to say the invite was lovely.

See, I don't get this at all. What if the person who received the invitation didn't think it was lovely? Why is there an expectation of being complimented? Just because I'm close friends with someone doesn't mean I share their taste. It doesn't mean I'm a bad person. But needing to be complimented on your taste (especially if it's a fake insincere compliment) sounds very needy.

[expat38matt]

I get what you’re saying dropthemic and if this was a close friend and I’d been party to many discussions about the invitations then I prob would comment on the finished article when recieved - however OP is talking about THE SAME / NEXT DAY and is upset for not getting immediate response all across the board
That is a bit unreasonable and high expectations of friends imo

[LaContessaDiPlump]

My cousin called her mum to complain when I didn't text her to say how beautiful her Save the Date card was. Her mum told me, with an eye-roll. I also eye-rolled, then texted and said how lovely it was. All was well

Sounds like you've got some clarity on this now op!

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

It's disappointing not to have been invited. If it's a one off, it might have been accidental. Try and invest more time/effort in those friends and tone down wedding talk.

[ElephantsandTigers]

Isn't it you send an invitation and then you get a yes/no to them coming? No card to say lovely card etc. A mention in passing is lovely but maybe you've got a touch of over excitedness.

[Someoneasdumbasthis]

Maybe they didn’t like the invite?
Maybe they are busy with their lives and it wouldn’t corse their minds to text you about their invite and how glorious it is?
Maybe this is only the tip of the iceberg of your full bridezillaness and you weren’t invited to dinner because it’s all you talk about?

Whichever. Just try really hard to keep some perspective in the run up to YOUR big day. Yes people will be excited for you. But they won’t want to hear endlessly about all the little details. It’s hard not to get obsessed especially if it’s a big day but do try to keep my to yourself as much as possible.

I speak from experience.

[junebirthdaygirl]

I have genuinely admired many invitations we have got . I have discussed them with my dd and admired the work put in. But l have never passed comment on them except once to a work colleague as she had chatted to me about working on them. When l get the invitation l go all formal and reply in a timely fashion with the correct formal response..l dont know why!! So back off and wait for the proper replies to come in and try to talk about other stuff meantime.

[MachineBee]

Congratulations on your forthcoming nuptials. Hope you have a lovely day.

We were invited to a wedding a few weeks ago and I’ve never seen a more relaxed bride and it was truly one of the best I’ve been too. No fancy invites, simple home-made order of service, friend of MOB did flowers and cake, and the bridal car from the church was a friend’s car. It was brilliant and memorable for all the right reasons.

My DH did the video and has just finished editing it. I’ve so enjoyed watching it to check DVD works before he gives them their copies.

Yes, it’s your special day, but try to keep it in perspective. It’s just one day in what will be a long and happy marriage.

[MimiSunshine]

I sort of know where you’re coming from, when I recieved my friends Save the Dare cars, I text her to say I’d received it, that it looked lovely (intricate design) and that I’d put the dare in my diary.

It just seemed like the polite thing to do and sort of let’s her know we’d love to come ahead of the actual invite.

I think it is a bit shitty for a friend to not have bothered opening the invite 5 days afte they were given it and to shrug it with ‘eating breakfast’. It sounds like there are other issues if they’ve all gone out without you too.

On the other hand, one friend had a very long RSVP date on here and was annoyed that people didn’t reply sooner, she’s put the long date so she could use the same invites for the B list but needed the A list back sooner.

[KC225]

I think the OP is getting a hard time on here. She has sent out her invitations and is excited. I would be disappointed if a 'close friend' did not acknowledge it when handed to her in person. So what if it's not to her friend's taste or style. It's important to her friend, to claim you haven't opened it yet is mean spirited and churlish. How hard would it be to 'yes, love it. Call you later' So either you have been driving everyone crazy with wedding talk and she is playing it down or she is jealous of the wedding/attention.

[LazyDailyMailJournos]

I think the OP is getting a hard time on here

Really? I see a pretty even handed thread where the majority have nicely said that they think she is BU but have wished her well for her wedding. Unless you seriously think that disagreeing politely with someone qualifies as giving them a "hard time"?

[thecatsthecats]

I need to show this thread to my fiance. I have haggled him down and down on the invite budget - they're honestly just bits of paper, with information you need. I found some on ebay that will do the trick - spending about £50 including stamps.

[sinceyouask]

I hope you gave a wonderful wedding and marriage, op. For your own sanity and in the interests of actually enjoying the wedding, stop caring about stuff like this now. Endless angst and misery lies ahead otherwise.
I have to admit that never in my life have I admired an invitation enough to comment on it!

[maras2]

3 guesses why you weren't invited out at the weekend just kidding.
Well done for recognising your Bridezilla potential and good luck for your wedding.