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AIBU?

To demand a parents evening meeting when I next have to pick my son up?

332 replies

OnlyParentsAreReal · 31/10/2017 19:37

I was informed today at pick up that it's parents evening tomorrow (first time I'm hearing of this) and my time slot is 7.15pm! I immediately said that wasn't possible as that is past my son's bed time to which they replied "oh well". There are a few things I've been meaning to bring up with them anyway and my son isn't in tomorrow. Would I be unreasonable to demand a parent's evening meeting next time Im there for pick up?

OP posts:

Report

BlondeB83 · 31/10/2017 22:12

Schools don’t give one day’s notice for parents evening, you have missed the information somewhere along the line. Just tell them it’s not convenient and request an appointment at their/your next convenience.

SimultaneousEquation · 31/10/2017 22:17

Give the OP a break. English may not be her first language so she is missing some of the nuances here about demand/ask.

cantkeepawayforever · 31/10/2017 22:18

It's not a school, it's a pre-school, and it sounds like OP's DS doesn't attend every day - entirely possible that a communication has been missed somewhere along the line, especially as it is usually a much less formal / important event than a school parents' evening might be, as pre-school staff are usually much much more accessible to parents on a daily basis through keyworkers or a similar system.

FitBitFanClub · 31/10/2017 22:18

Missing some nuances? But she's been back to lecture us all on how we've got it wrong.

Appuskidu · 31/10/2017 22:19

I think if English wasn't her first language, she probably would have told us that, rather than telling us we are all wrong.

Willow2017 · 31/10/2017 22:20

Using demand in rhe context you did in your op is aggressive.
Using it in the other contexts you described isnt.
Its simple.
But apparently approx 100 people are wrong and you are rewriting the englush language.

HidingBehindTheWallpaper · 31/10/2017 22:22

People, demand is not innately negative or bad. I had no idea people didn't realise that.
You can't just decide that a word means something different and then demand that everyone else sees it your way.

If you ask someone to do something for you and refuse to take no for an answer then you are demanding and you are being rude.

You cannot compare this to 'on demand TV' or having a 'demanding job', and more than you can compare cutting out some biscuits and cutting off your arm.

PortiaCastis · 31/10/2017 22:22

Oh dear Im sorry OP but I really think talking to trained professionals in a rude manner isn't going to get you anywhere.

Migraleve · 31/10/2017 22:25

People, demand is not innately negative or bad. I had no idea people didn't realise that. Saying you have a demanding job isn't saying you have a bad job

Aww bless you OP.

Using the word demand as in your OP is very different to using it to describe your job.

I had no idea people didn't realise context is vital.

MaisyPops · 31/10/2017 22:27

People, demand is not innately negative or bad. I had no idea people didn't realise that. Saying you have a demanding job isn't saying you have a bad job. On demand telle isn't angry telle.
Are you being deliberately obtuse?

To demand means to not accept no, to insist on something. Where ypu get angry from is beyond me.

'On demand' does not mean angry (obviously!). It's telly whrre you consume what you want and you consume it when you want to.

You think yoy can demand a meeting, but it isn't really demanding, it's more asking but ypu won't accept no. So it's a demand.

If your child is still only young, so help their primary and secondary teachers if you keep this up.

I had a lovely phonrcall from a parent today REQUESTING an update and seeking advicr on how ti help their child. I went above and beyond for them because they were polite and reasonable. Go figure.

SirGawain · 31/10/2017 22:27

OnlyParentsAreReal The word demand, along with many words is not neutral. It has connotive meaning as well as denotative meaning.
The way in which you are using it has aggressive overtones in a way that TV on demand does not.
As another poster said, "You catch more flies with honey than with vineger."

itsbetterthanabox · 31/10/2017 22:29

So it's nursery? You pay them? You don't have to go at all.

steppemum · 31/10/2017 22:29

People, demand is not innately negative or bad
The dictionary appears to disagree with you:

demand verb [ T ] (REQUEST)

to ask for something forcefully, in a way that shows that you do not expect to be refused.

i woudl say that asking for something forcefully is negative.

And as many, many other posters have posted that it is negative, I think it is your understanding of the word which is a problem.

multivac · 31/10/2017 22:30

A 'demanding' job isn't a 'bad' job; it is, however, a job where expectations of the person doing it are both high and uncompromising.

'On demand' TV isn't 'angry' telly (good grief); it is, however, a service entirely led by the wishes and whims of the individual consumer.

To 'demand' something is indeed, as you say, to ask for it but not accept 'no' as an answer. It's not 'bad'. But it says something significant about the person doing the asking.

Do you see, OP? There's no such thing as an exact synonym, and your precise choice of verb in this case is relevant.

OnlyParentsAreReal · 31/10/2017 22:33

If you cannot be bothered to read the previous replies, don't bother commenting. I may be dyslexic but I still managed to gets As in college for English, so I do have a firm understanding of the language. This is ludicrous. If no one is going to offer a sensible reply I shall leave this here.

OP posts:

ManchesterGin · 31/10/2017 22:33

Demand means demand with only one answer being acceptable. Ask means ask whereby you are willing to accept the answer either way.

You cannot demand an appointment at a certain time. You can ask if they can accommodate you, but they can say no and offer an alternative. It's how conversations work.

Parents like you are one of the worst parts of teaching.

luckyDuvet · 31/10/2017 22:35

What did you want to get out of posting?

BishBoshBashBop · 31/10/2017 22:35

If you cannot be bothered to read the previous replies, don't bother commenting

You can't state who can and can't post.

I still managed to gets As in college for English, so I do have a firm understanding of the language.

So? On this point you are wrong.

gobbynorthernbird · 31/10/2017 22:35

Now that the OP has explained 'demand', could I ask that they do the same with 'except'. I think I may have been getting that wrong my entire life.

parkermoppy · 31/10/2017 22:35

Really quite a defensive response, I wonder why you are so angry?
The word demand in the context of asking to rearrange a parents evening is aggressive as hell!

Is there anything that can't be discussed via email if its preschool?

CrockedPot · 31/10/2017 22:35

Poor kid. Demand away.

FitBitFanClub · 31/10/2017 22:37

You have had plenty of sensible replies. May I suggest you go back and read them again?

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HidingBehindTheWallpaper · 31/10/2017 22:37

so I do have a firm understanding of the language.

Well you clearly don't.

multivac · 31/10/2017 22:38

OP, are you also struggling with the meaning of 'no one' and/or 'sensible'?

AssassinatedBeauty · 31/10/2017 22:39

The sensible advice you've had is to tell the preschool that you can't make that time, and to ask if they could arrange another time to suit you. It would also be worthwhile to clarify the procedure for organising parents evening appointments, seeing as there has been a miscommunication this time.

You seem unnecessarily angry at the preschool. Are there other issues apart from this?

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