To demand a parents evening meeting when I next have to pick my son up?

[OnlyParentsAreReal]

I was informed today at pick up that it's parents evening tomorrow (first time I'm hearing of this) and my time slot is 7.15pm! I immediately said that wasn't possible as that is past my son's bed time to which they replied "oh well". There are a few things I've been meaning to bring up with them anyway and my son isn't in tomorrow. Would I be unreasonable to demand a parent's evening meeting next time Im there for pick up?

[Urubu]

Parent evening at our Primary school are 3pm-8:30pm. Very convenient for working parents

[FitBitFanClub]

Has anyone else scanned "The Staffroom" to see if the poor teacher dealing with the OP has posted?

[ChocolateWombat]

How ridiculous on lots of levels.

Of course the school will have made this info available sooner than 24 hours before. No doubt the OP will claim that because she had not looked in the places where the info is available, the school didn't provide the info.

Of course the right approach is never to demand something or to insist that a 'no' answer cannot be given.

The best way to a bad relationship with the school and to promote poor behaviour to your child is to behave as the OP is suggesting - being aggressive, rude and demanding....and always assuming you are right.

I expect the school said 'oh well' because the info has been available for a while. Often slots are 'sign up' slots and if you don't sign up, you get what's left. TBH in this situation to then say it's inconvenient and ask for another slot is actually quite rude. To say with such short notice is quite rude - the teacher will have spent the evening after a full day at work talking to parents, the slots se allocated for that and we are all sure that notice has been given, so really parents should in most circumstances try to make their slot - sometimes it might not be 100% convenient, but hey ho, that's just life isn't it sometimes.

Is it more acceptable to inconvenience the teacher with less than 24 hours notice or to suck up the inconvenience of a slot yourself, when in reality you have failed to get to grips with what is going on? Actually, most reasonable people at this point, even with a child normally in bed by 7 would have the good grace to recognise they have messed up in not knowing what is going on and just get on with what they have been accepted rather than wanting alternatives.

I'm a bit surprised more people haven't just said, in the circumstances, get on with it and take the appointment you've been given.

Unfortunately, I know a couple of parents who never sign up for parents evenings. They don't like the days of the week they happen on or the bother of going and signing up or finding they don't get the slot they want. So as a matter of course they always just say they can't go and say when they would like to come instead. I think it's pretty rude and dismissive of the teachers time to do this.....but I think a lot of people don't think twice about asking (politely I acknowledge, not rudely as the Op suggests) for something to convenience themselves rather than thinking about the inconvenience to someone else which follows.

[OnlyParentsAreReal]

People, demand is not innately negative or bad. I had no idea people didn't realise that. Saying you have a demanding job isn't saying you have a bad job. On demand telle isn't angry telle. Yes this is the first they informed me. They started with "oh I haven't told you". Its a preschool. They don't have newsletters. They don't have a website for that stuff. No he can't go to bed late as he has health issues and they know that, hence why he's not there tomorrow. Even if he didn't it's still way too late for a 4 year old to be waking out in the streets in the middle of town. Especially in the Halloween to Guy Fawkes week. Now can people please stop flipping out over the English language. If using ask is easier for you I shall try to remember that in the future. This is getting way out of hand.

[Lethaldrizzle]

If it's preschool you don't really need a parents evening

[Stickerrocks]

To demand is aggressive. Asking is polite.

[BishBoshBashBop]

You sound like hard work tbh.

[FitBitFanClub]

I had no idea people didn't realise that.

You really don't need to patronise us. We are an intelligent bunch on the whole. In the context of your OP, "demand" was an inappropriate term to use.

If using ask is easier for you Not "easier" for us. We don't need dumbing down. But you have a long school career ahead of you. It will be easier for you if you learn to moderate your tone and attitude when forming relationships with the people you're relying on to take good care of your son.

[ChocolateWombat]

'I had no idea people didn't realise that'

Oh, so your understanding of the word DEMAND is right and the many many posters on here who saw it as aggressive are wrong in their understanding of the word?

I think you will find that lots of things start happening in the early evening. Sometimes it just is necessary to make a one-off change and go with it. It will become increasingly necessary to be in the street in the dark in the evening. It will just be a fact and everyone has to get used to it and be a bit flexible. If you can't do this, you will encounter all kinds of problems.

If the school knows about your sons needs which mean he must be in bed early, then I'm sure they will realise their mistake and arrange something else with you.

I'd definitely work on developing positive communication with them. You seem to have produced misunderstanding on here and it could happen in person too if you're not careful. Perhaps they will all be wrong in their use of language and understanding what you mean, in the way all the posters on here have been wrong in their understanding of the word 'demand'.

Best of luck - I hope it all works out.

[iamyourequal]

Stickerrocks she does sound rather aggressive though! I'm not sure she would manage polite.

[ChocolateWombat]

Yes agree that moderating your tone and attitude will serve you well.

Everything isn't a fight.

[Appuskidu]

Using demanding in the context of a job is very different to 'demanding' an appointment. If you struggle to understand that, it is not the rest of us who have the issue.

[Bubblebubblepop]

Christ I go to my 2 year olds parents evening at 8pm. She doesn't turn into a pumpkin

[SandyDenny]

So it's not even a school?

[AssassinatedBeauty]

Just ask them if they can do a time when you can attend. My DS's key worker will always offer to do an appointment at a more convenient time if I can't make the parents evening.

I'd also ask them what the procedure is for booking an appointment for next time, as they have either allocated you a time without asking you or you have missed some communications.

[RavenWings]

God forbid words mean different things and have different connotations depending on the context.

If I call a Labrador a bitch, I think you'd know I mean it as a female dog. If I call you a bitch though, I doubt you're thinking I expect you to like walkies and chasing cats...

[FitBitFanClub]

Interesting example to choose there, Raven.

[user789653241]

I think you could have got totally opposite response if you stated it was for preschool child and said ask instead of demand.
I don't think it's common to use that sort of language when they are doing something to benefit you/ your dc.

[Barbie222]

How are people who work going to make the appointments if they don't run up until then?

Just ask to see someone at another time, politely with a smile.

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

The planets will still circle the sun if your ds goes to be bed later than 7.15
one night, I promise.

[YogiYoni]

Hm, at any point over the last 100+ messages suggesting you ‘ask’ rather than ‘demand’, have you considered that maybe, just maybe, it is you who is using the word incorrectly rather than everyone else?

[ButchyRestingFace]

I had no idea people didn't realise that.

Thankfully we now have you to show us the light, the way and the truth.

[Appuskidu]

The only parent that has ever 'demanded' to see me (as their child's class teacher) uttered the phrase, 'and what's more, I pay your wages'.

I hope you are less of a twat.