To demand a parents evening meeting when I next have to pick my son up?

[OnlyParentsAreReal]

I was informed today at pick up that it's parents evening tomorrow (first time I'm hearing of this) and my time slot is 7.15pm! I immediately said that wasn't possible as that is past my son's bed time to which they replied "oh well". There are a few things I've been meaning to bring up with them anyway and my son isn't in tomorrow. Would I be unreasonable to demand a parent's evening meeting next time Im there for pick up?

[cantkeepawayforever]

I wonder whether it is preschool / nursery rather than school?

[HostaFireAndIce]

It would obviously be ludicrous if this were the first anyone had heard about Parents' Evening, but I also do find it very peculiar that a Primary School would a) insist on the pupils being present and b) hold the parents' evening as late as that if they were insisting on the pupil being present.
In answer to treaclesoda, DS(5) is normally in bed by 7:00pm. Very occasionally he is asleep by 7:15!

[PerfumeIsAMessage]

Parents' evenings are generally planned from the beginning of the academic year. Ours is put on the school website in September. The kids then bring home a note in their diaries about a week before just in case anyone has missed it on the website.

What sort of school is it where your child isn't going in tomorrow? Are you abroad?

[HidingBehindTheWallpaper]

So you are going to stand there and demand the teacher sees you there and then?
You know that they will most likely have other things they have to do? Other appointments, meetings and the like.
You can’t stand there and stamp your feet like a toddler.

Have you asked any other parents if they knew about it?

[Willow2017]

Parents evenings are not really the time to discuss 'issues'. You have 10 minutes each for a quick catch up on how they are doing.
Other concerns need a peoper meeting at a mutually convenient time.

Demanding asking and not wanting no not today for an answer is rude. Teacher might not be available 'next time you pick up' so expecting them to drop everything to see you is pretty ridiculous.

Asking for a meeting to talk over concerns at a time suitable is a far better way to get something done.

[Fruitcorner123]

I don't know any primary age children (I'm assuming it's primary) who would be in bed at 7.15

Mine would! (Reception and y2)

But i would keep them up in the OPs circumstances.

I would then write a politely worded email or letter explaining that I need more notice next time and asking why I didnt get a say in the time allocated.

Your other option is to explain you can't make it and ask them to arrange one for after school one day when you pick up. If you demand one you will get a reputation for being 'that' parent. They will most likely be happy to meet you anyway so no need for demanding

[RavenWings]

I'd love to see OP go in and stomp her feet at a teacher who has a good backbone. It wouldn't end well for her.

Also, I know some schools where older children have their own pupil-teacher meetings and they talk (in child friendly language!) about progress, what's going well etc. Maybe OPs school is a variant on that...or not.

[PurpleMinionMummy]

If they've given an entire school 24 hrs notice of parents evening slots I think you'd be better off demanding they start giving reasonable notice for everyone.

[Stickerrocks]

Many schools refuse to see parents immediately after school, as they are busy seeing children off the premises, clearing up, having staff meetings and doing 101 other things behind the scenes. Why don't you simply ask of you can arrange an appointment for a mutually convenient time? If your child has only recently started school, you need to build a long term partnership with the staff rather than "demanding" things of them.

[potatoscowls]

7:15 is extremely early

[RedSkyAtNight]

DD's old primary include DC at parents' evenings. The children had to talk about a piece of maths work and a piece of English they'd completed recently (chose the pieces in advance). So the DC coming was very much part of the session - and they ran up till 7pm IIRC.

[HidingBehindTheWallpaper]

I think the ops comment about her dc bring in bed is not that the school expects them to come but that that she will have put them to bed and therefore not be able to come out as she is a lone parent.

That said I’ve seen some parents come to parents evening with children in pyjamas. Then they can take the children home and put them straight into bed.

[treaclesoda]

I don't know any primary age children (I'm assuming it's primary) who would be in bed at 7.15

Mine would! (Reception and y2)

Yes, sorry, I didn't mean that no kids would be in bed at that time. But the OP said most would be asleep and I thought that sounded far fetched? I don't get home from work until 6.30 or so, they wouldn't even have eaten by 7.15 much less done their homework and be ready for bed.

[LondonNicki]

I think some of you are misunderstanding what the world demand means in this context. I say demand as in ask but do not except no as an appropriate answer

Jesus you sound like hard work.

[FitBitFanClub]

School are BU to give a 7.15pm time slot.

Why? Lots of our parents clamour for the later appointments (up to 8pm) so that those who are working/commuting long distance can make it.

I would then write a politely worded email or letter explaining that I need more notice next time and asking why I didnt get a say in the time allocated. No need to write such a thing, as more notice WILL have been given (and despite what the OP is saying, she has missed previous notifications) and an opportunity given for a time preference to be made.

Do you think schools are really that stupid?

[BarbarianMum]

My children were asleep in bed by 7pm in reception/ Y1. On occasion 6.30pm! And I know many parents who did the same.

[cowssheephens]

Poor teacher, that's Late to be working after working with children all day.

[Allthewaves]

You have a slot, it's 7.15. Keep dc up late, one night won't hurt.

[notangelinajolie]

I suspect you haven't got in there quick enough to book an early slot. I wouldn't demand anything from the teacher - put it down to experence and be more on the ball next time. And I wouldn't not go either - surely, one late night isn't going to do your son much harm?

[Want2bSupermum]

I struggle to make parents evening and let teachers know at the start of the year. I also don't understand homework on an almost weekly basis so I feel like I'm in constant contact with DDs teacher.

Seriously, you do not need to demand anything. Most teachers are more than happy to schedule these meetings. With your attitude you risk alienating yourself from the person your child spends at least half of their waking hours with.

[ButchyRestingFace]

I immediately said that wasn't possible as that is past my son's bed time to which they replied "oh well’

So keep him up a bit later for one night. Sorted.

[LaChatte]

Are you French? In English, demand does not mean ask.

[gamerchick]

Good grief a later bedtime won’t hurt. I feel sorry for the teachers having to stay at school that late more than how I’m inconvenienced.

[BackBoiler]

We have them up until 7 pm and it usually runs over as some parents just don't seem to understand that they have 10/15 mins to speak!

I usually make ours for about 6.30 otherwise we would have to book a day off work to attend. Its one night I am sure it wouldn't hurt your child to stay up late one night. Take him in his PJs maybe then he can go straight to bed when he gets home.

It will be on a newsletter somewhere otherwise how did the other parents know?

[Migraleve]

It’s past your sons bedtime

Are you always so awkward?