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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To apologise to you all for not being Harry Styles

63 replies

forceofhabitandnotneed · 31/10/2017 10:22

I realise I must look like a hideous sack of shit next to that puppy-eyed paragon of modern manhood, so I'm truly sorry. Despite being over 40 and considerably overweight, I shall try to be more like him in future.

OP posts:
GinIsIn · 31/10/2017 11:05

I don't think any of us joined MN expecting Harry Styles... Confused

differenteverytime · 31/10/2017 11:06

He's a nice-looking lad, but I wouldn't use him as a basis for what anybody else looks like.

soupforbrains · 31/10/2017 11:06

ick. Harry Styles is ick.

Not in any way attractive at ALL. In my opinion obviously.

I'm sure that you have significantly more going for you than that tramp does, albeit perhaps not the squillions of pounds...

BriechonCheese · 31/10/2017 11:14

What prompted you to start the thread OP?

SpookghosttiAndMeatboos · 31/10/2017 11:22

I find it hard to tell with the young ones - they all just make me think of what my son will be like in a few years....

I do see what people see in Chris Pratt though (and agree, any style of Chris Pratt will do - nothing wrong with a bit of padding :) )

I'm not convinced looks matter as much as you think - when you take a step back and really look, plenty of famously attractive blokes aren't exactly handsome. It's true what they way - confidence and personality is what matters most

FairNotFair · 31/10/2017 11:22

Yes. Please apologise to "all" of us, OP. You know, because women have no individual preferences and we all yearn towards exactly the same ideal which is, apparently, some homogenised, floppy-haired 20-something ex-boybander

BrioAmio · 31/10/2017 11:25

Obviously it’s the fault of all women you can’t get a date 🙄

KatoPotato · 31/10/2017 11:26

Is he the one that looks like Rizzo from Grease?

PandorasXbox · 31/10/2017 11:27

Don’t care either way OP.

FairNotFair · 31/10/2017 11:27

Kato Grin

user1497357411 · 31/10/2017 11:29

Isn't Harry Styles like 12 years old?

FairNotFair · 31/10/2017 11:31

OP, take comfort in the fact that, by the time Harry Styles reaches your age, he probably will look like you Smile

Original poster
forceofhabitandnotneed · 31/10/2017 11:33

Sorry, I'm just feeling rather unattractive and sorry for myself at the moment. I see blokes much plainer and larger than I am who are happily coupled up, but just feel I lack whatever they have in terms of personality/confidence.

Trouble is, I sometimes feel like a prisoner of who I was when I was 17 - the socially-awkward, entitled lardbucket who turned girls' stomachs with his creepy, sweaty notions of "romance". For a long time I saw him as a victim, but now I see he wasn't. And I'm not awfully sure what I can do to stop that haunting me.

OP posts:
ScipioAfricanus · 31/10/2017 11:34

Young girls tend to like ‘pretty’ boys like Harry Styles because they are unthreatening and quite ‘feminine’. Unless men over 40 are trying to attract young teenagers and teenagers, Harry Styles is a rather odd style choice to emulate.

WorraLiberty · 31/10/2017 11:39

OP, you keep mentioning your weight in a negative way.

Have you taken any serious steps to change it? That might help with your lack of confidence.

LuxuryWoman2017 · 31/10/2017 11:39

I don't look like Jennifer Lawrence and I'm nearly 50 if that helps.
Op most of us have been knocked back or been a spotty sweaty teen.

Harry Styles whilst being very pretty is a very young man indeed.
I rather fancy Bill Bailey and both the Hairy Bikers if that makes you feel any better?

Kindness and humour is where it's at for me

SomethingNastyInTheBallPool · 31/10/2017 11:41

Are you still living with your parents? That’s almost never a turn-on.

JayDot500 · 31/10/2017 11:41

So by your own admission, you understand that 'looks' have very little to do with your current situation.

So don't focus on others, like Harry or whoever you feel all women love without question (fyi such a man does not exist). Focus on yourself and you'll certainly end up more attractive. Happiness created from within flows outward and that in itself is attractive Flowers

Shakey15000 · 31/10/2017 11:43

Maybe the “plainer” and “larger” blokes have learned to love themselves first.

What would you like to change? How could you go about achieving it? There’s that wonderful video of the ex para who was overweight, used sticks and a wheelchair, told he would never walk unaided again. Well he did. Via yoga. He persevered and persevered despite falling over multiple times. Lost weight, the sticks and the wheelchair.

Anyhow, Harry Styles. I would.

Rebeccaslicker · 31/10/2017 11:43

I'd rather harry styles apologised for being harry styles. He's awful.

DeleteOrDecay · 31/10/2017 11:45

Eh? Not every woman wants a Harry Styles look a like.

LuckyAmy1986 · 31/10/2017 11:46

Ew.

Chris Pratt all day, any day, any way!

artisancraftbeer · 31/10/2017 11:47

You could just not be ‘considerably overweight’.

Pickleypickles · 31/10/2017 11:47

The biggest turn off for me is neediness, someone who tries so hard to be romantic it feels more like a carefully planned formula than romantic spontaneity, you sound like you might tick those boxes OP.
Stop concentrating on what you think women what, focus on what makes you happy and you are much more likely to find someone who is right for you.

PickAChew · 31/10/2017 11:47

I'm not into men who look like my teenage son.