To apologise to you all for not being Harry Styles

[forceofhabitandnotneed]

I realise I must look like a hideous sack of shit next to that puppy-eyed paragon of modern manhood, so I'm truly sorry. Despite being over 40 and considerably overweight, I shall try to be more like him in future.

[thebluething]

Why would any 40 year old man want to look like Harry Styles fgs? He's way too feminine for me - ew! Even if I was 12, I doubt I'd get it. I think I would have gone for the other one - Zane Malik.
OP, what you were like at 17 is in the distant past. What is going on with you now? If you must strive to emulate someone, at least opt for a man in your own age group.

[BriechonCheese]

You don't know you're beautiful,
That's what makes you beautiful.

[MissionItsPossible]

You're insecure.
Don't know what for.

[Mustang27]

Counselling and not comparing yourself to harry fucking styles . Your pity party attitude isn’t great.

I believe you do kinda have to like yourself to some degree before someone else does.

Do you just fall for people because of how they physically look? That could be a problem.

[Joey7t8]

You sound like the sort of man that is super nice to women and thinks that that entitles him to sex with them.

[GiBlues]

Don’t be more like harry styles be more like Tom Hardy, in fact every male in the land should be more like Tom Hardy

[BriechonCheese]

To put it politely, you know women aren't obliged to fancy you even if you look nice? You aren't entitled to be fancied, have a relationship or sex?

If you want it, you need to listen to what the people you like want from life and relationships.

[forceofhabitandnotneed]

Thing is, thecolonel, I do have quite a range of interests. The whole "showering with romance" thing was something I did in my late teens. I tried to develop this "romantic" persona to try and compensate for the flab, sweat and awkwardness - it was completely the wrong thing to do, of course, and I realise that now.

[thecolonelbumminganugget]

I agree with pickleypickles a man who is waiting for a woman to turn up so he can shower affection on her because he has nothing else in his life is a turn off. You don't have to be mainstream in looks or personality but having a passion for something and a variety of interests makes a person attractive. I have no interest in painting warhammer models or baking bread for example but DH does and it's nice to hear him talk about it.

[MadForlt]

PickaChew you'll need to be careful. With a comment like that you could find your house under siege by a mass of middle aged women. That's what we all go for.

Apparantly...

[IfyouseeRitaMoreno]

Maybe you need to lower your standards and look for a 40 year old obese woman instead. I’m sure she’d be thrilled to have you.

[ToastyFingers]

Would you like to know a secret?

It's probably your attitude that is putting people off, rather than your age or weight.

You don't have a right to sex, no matter how desireable/undesireable you might be.

Also, I can't imagine many grown women are interested in Harry Styles. I'm 26 and would consider him too young for me, so unless you're interested in very young women I suggest you at least do a bit of research before posting whiny, woe is me type threads.

[DeleteOrDecay]

I bet you’re one of those blokes who goes on about women choosing the ‘bad boy’s’ over ‘decent guys’ like you who never get a look in. That attitude and sense of entitlement is a massive turn off.

[PickAChew]

I'm not into men who look like my teenage son.

[Pickleypickles]

The biggest turn off for me is neediness, someone who tries so hard to be romantic it feels more like a carefully planned formula than romantic spontaneity, you sound like you might tick those boxes OP.
Stop concentrating on what you think women what, focus on what makes you happy and you are much more likely to find someone who is right for you.

[artisancraftbeer]

You could just not be ‘considerably overweight’.

[LuckyAmy1986]

Ew.

Chris Pratt all day, any day, any way!

[DeleteOrDecay]

Eh? Not every woman wants a Harry Styles look a like.

[Rebeccaslicker]

I'd rather harry styles apologised for being harry styles. He's awful.

[Shakey15000]

Maybe the “plainer” and “larger” blokes have learned to love themselves first.

What would you like to change? How could you go about achieving it? There’s that wonderful video of the ex para who was overweight, used sticks and a wheelchair, told he would never walk unaided again. Well he did. Via yoga. He persevered and persevered despite falling over multiple times. Lost weight, the sticks and the wheelchair.

Anyhow, Harry Styles. I would.

[JayDot500]

So by your own admission, you understand that 'looks' have very little to do with your current situation.

So don't focus on others, like Harry or whoever you feel all women love without question (fyi such a man does not exist). Focus on yourself and you'll certainly end up more attractive. Happiness created from within flows outward and that in itself is attractive

[SomethingNastyInTheBallPool]

Are you still living with your parents? That’s almost never a turn-on.

[LuxuryWoman2017]

I don't look like Jennifer Lawrence and I'm nearly 50 if that helps.
Op most of us have been knocked back or been a spotty sweaty teen.

Harry Styles whilst being very pretty is a very young man indeed.
I rather fancy Bill Bailey and both the Hairy Bikers if that makes you feel any better?

Kindness and humour is where it's at for me

[WorraLiberty]

OP, you keep mentioning your weight in a negative way.

Have you taken any serious steps to change it? That might help with your lack of confidence.

[ScipioAfricanus]

Young girls tend to like ‘pretty’ boys like Harry Styles because they are unthreatening and quite ‘feminine’. Unless men over 40 are trying to attract young teenagers and teenagers, Harry Styles is a rather odd style choice to emulate.