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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think driving to roads where there's good trick or treating is a bit wrong

447 replies

sahknowme · 30/10/2017 23:38

We live in an area that puts a lot of effort into trick or treating (assumingly for the "local" kids). There's recently been a thread on a forum asking for streets/routes that are good to drive to for their kids to trick or treat, and our street has been mentioned.

AIBU to think this is a bit wrong/grabby, and we are doing it for our local area - not for randoms to drive from all over town?!

OP posts:
MargoLovebutter · 31/10/2017 14:26

MummyMuppet, are you not remotely concerned about your DC knocking on the doors of strangers?

Amd724 · 31/10/2017 14:33

Don’t feel bad for us kids who had some of their candy nicked by their parents. We had way more than we needed, and I think they just didn’t want us to eat all of this candy over the next couple of weeks. Think of four children under the age of 7, high on the sugar from candy, for weeks. Nope, they’d take some away. My mom would freeze some of it, but then she’d eat some of it. I never knew, only figured it out when I was like 12. I wasn’t even angry. I never noticed!

They’d inspect our candy for any candy that was already opened. They don’t want us eating candy that’s already unwrapped. When I say inspect, I mean they’d just go through it to make sure nothing inappropriate was in there. You laugh, but one year we found jokes in there that were definitely not child friendly. Bunch of cheeky early 20 somethings thought it’d be funny to give those out with candy. We never went back to that house.

BenLui · 31/10/2017 14:33

Margo but surely most parents are with their kids?

Around here the parents wait in the pavement chatting while their kids go and do the knocking part.

Rach5l · 31/10/2017 14:57

Throughly disgusted by that SonyaY good luck bringing up decent kids

Yabu op, since when have sweets been a precious commodity? Stop being special & just give everyone a chupachup fgs

BlurryFace · 31/10/2017 15:00

I think if you can get the kids to walk there it's fair game.

We lived in the sticks, with one other family with a kid - where we couldn't go because the mum and my mum have a grudge that must be a decade old by now - so we trick and treated at one house each year. The lovely lady would dress up as a witch just for us, fill our buckets, chat with dad and give him posh wine. (She was THE minted one in an area of minted people and my parents who'd bought when it was still cheap.) It was actually quite lovely, looking back.

Increasinglymiddleaged · 31/10/2017 15:02

Wow. I'd NEVER have considered it an issue to go where the sweets are for Halloween confused
That's exactly what I'll be doing this evening.

It honestly amazes me that people assume that everyone on the Halloween in route loves the crowds once a year. Yes some will but a lot of people increasingly make sure they are out.

MargoLovebutter · 31/10/2017 15:03

BenLui, would you knock on a strangers door at night time?

I appreciate that if you knock on the doors of people who have put out a pumpkin or something, then you are expecting them to want to participate in the Halloween sweet frenzy, but I still would only let my kids knock on the doors of people we know.

Rach5l · 31/10/2017 15:07

You do it for your neighbours, not families from three miles away...

Why? Genuine question. Hopefully you won’t ever need help from outside your 3 mile radius. Why don’t you put up a perimeter fence keep those disgusting people in flats away Hmm

BenLui · 31/10/2017 15:10

We do on Halloween Margo!

We only knock on doors where the houses are decorated. In our area there are hundreds of kids going round in groups so as long as the weather isn’t too bad most people don’t actually close their doors.

They stand there between 6pm and 8pm handing out sweeties to a constant stream of kids in exchange for songs, poems or pretty dreadful jokes.

No one knocks on the doors of dark houses so no one is upset or intimidated or grumpy.

Parents accompany kids (at a little distance) so it’s perfectly safe.

It’s lovely. We do live in a very nice, safe place though, I appreciate it’s not the same everywhere.

Increasinglymiddleaged · 31/10/2017 15:12

Why don’t you put up a perimeter fence keep those disgusting people in flats away hmm

It isn't people who live in flats its people who live in big houses 'in the sticks' who look down on estates until Halloween night who drive to here. Probably the same ones who were moaning on MN about people walking across a stubble field in autumn being entitled as they can see them from their lounge Hmm

doodle01 · 31/10/2017 15:12

I think its cool we live in a world designed around transport Id post on youtube

MargoLovebutter · 31/10/2017 15:25

BenLui, that sounds like it is all within your neighbourhood though. So whilst you don't know everyone, they are not total strangers, they are your neighbours and you will probably bump into them next year, if you didn't last year.

That's not what the OP was talking about. She was talking about people driving to other people's neighbourhoods and doing TOT there.

PatricianOfAnkhMorpork · 31/10/2017 15:29

The last time we decorated the house and got the sweets in was the year we spotted two car loads of kids arriving that weren't local. The mums had spent the evening basically driving all over two towns to get as many sweets as possible.

We said fuck that and haven't done it since. In fact we now make sure we are out and have done so for the last 5 years so bussing them in isn't new.

It was a complete piss take and ruined what has always been a fun night.

permatiredmum · 31/10/2017 15:31

Befor e w had kids , I once threw a bucket of water out of an upstairs window on them to discourage the little barstewards. I didn't know much about kids then because the next year we had 10 times as many calling! It was the highlight of the route!

BenLui · 31/10/2017 15:53

Margo there’s about 250 houses so, no, I don’t know most of them, or most of the children who call at ours guising.

We are one of those areas that people come to from across town. I don’t mind at all.

Bananasplit47 · 31/10/2017 15:59

Well we had planned on taking DS to village that PIL live in because they want to see him all dressed up and take him trick or treating (first year he's being old enough)
Or is this 'grabby' of us? Really don't understand how wound up some people are getting over one night a year where some kids come knock on doors for free sweets which cost £2 for a bag in the local supermarket.
Seriously, what is the issue with some of you? What a miserable thread.

PoisonousSmurf · 31/10/2017 16:00

We are quite rural but have a lot of scattered houses. So yes, the kids from those houses come into town or into our estate.

LittleLionMansMummy · 31/10/2017 16:04

We live in a cul de sac so no idea whether the kids knocking travelled here and parked up or are genuine locals. Tbh I don't think I really care. Cute kids who have made an effort with their costumes and display manners are rewarded with a sweet/ treat size bag of sweets. Not many houses decorated in my immediate neighbourhood today unfortunately so might be travelling a bit further. Ds has been excited for Halloween for weeks now, I'm not letting him down.

Increasinglymiddleaged · 31/10/2017 16:04

Seriously, what is the issue with some of you? What a miserable thread.

Unless you live on a thoroughfare it is quite hard to really believe what it is like having 500-odd kids to your door on a weekday evening. People always think I am exaggerating. And yes, I'm really miserable buying sweets in each year Hmm

However, if your PIL want to take DS round their neighbours it is actually slightly beyond me what the problem is you are seeing, particularly if they have been giving sweets to the local children for years.

Coastalcommand · 31/10/2017 16:09

I think it's a shame that so many people don't know their neighbours. For us it's about getting to know the kids and parents who live nearby, having a chat etc.
I'd rather not have strangers knocking on the door, but it happens more and more every year.

Coastalcommand · 31/10/2017 16:12

We have bought five £2 bags of sweets (well, six, but we've eaten part of one!). I will feel bad when they run out, often very early on, but can't really justify more.

fairgame84 · 31/10/2017 16:32

Well we're all lit up and ready for them. I just need to put a sign on the door reminding them to show some ID and a recent utility bill to prove they're not 'blow in's' (horrible phrase btw Hmm) Wink

CakesRUs · 31/10/2017 16:53

When I used to have Halloween parties, I’d go to my neighbours and give them sweets to dole out to my party, or else it have been a cheek, loads of kids knocking at once.

ohhereweareagain · 31/10/2017 16:58

It would never occur to me that only kids living in my or surrounding streets should have my sweets Confused .kids are kids who cares as it doesn't matter

BewareOfDragons · 31/10/2017 17:04

I agree with Prudence For fuck's sake, just be nice, they're children!

www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/10/dear_prudence_on_halloween_poor_kids_come_to_trick_or_treat_in_my_neighborhood.html