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AIBU?

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Original poster

Rehoming dog- the welfare centre surely being U

55 replies

Givemeallthechocolate · 30/10/2017 17:30

This is my second AIbu of the day.... had a bit of thinking time.

I saw a dog, who was listed as being whole, he had a fear of loud noises, but quite young at 9 months.

Nothing I can't deal with, so happily I made enquiries into making him mine.

Home check done, all ok.

The information about him was very scarce.
We did hear that there was something about his ear- we gathered an ear infection and all would be ok by the time we collected him.

The day came to meet him, and we were told the dog was cryptorchid and that they would reimburse part of the costs of his operation. They couldn't confirm how much. And we needed a vet appointment for his ears.

Its ok, no problem.

when we're home his behaviour isn't what we expected (I worked for 18 months boarding dogs in our home, so I'm not exactly inexperienced with settling in dogs)
He's ripped up our kitchen floor, broke out of his crate, he's started to go to the toilet on DDs carpet when we go on the school run despite having access to outdoors (usually a walk) just before we leave.

There are a lot of problems. I speak with the place that he came from a few times.

First few times just as discussion about how he's settling in. I'm ashamed to say the 3rd time I spoke with them i was on the verge of telling them that he could no longer live here. I'm so ashamed at that.

They came back to me and told me that they didn't see it, but it was on their notes that he suffered with anxiety.

At that moment I felt like, actually I couldn't send him back there, he's not well, and they put him with us not explaining his issues, and all I could think of was, many people would have taken him not knowing and with the behaviour would have sent him back because they are unable to deal with this.

I feel like they let him down because this would have been just another home in the long list, therefore making his issues worse. He was 9 months, it's unclear whether this is his 3rd or 4th home.

He's now 10 months old, and we think he's finally getting some meat on his bones. We wanted to see the post they put up of him before we got him, to compare then and now, they've deleted every shred of information about him. The post, the pictures, as if he's never been one of theirs.

Am I expecting too much or have they failed him? I feel really upset about this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Givemeallthechocolate · 30/10/2017 18:17

Lonecatwithkitten-that's very good to know. That's advice I haven't been given before. I've screenshot it for reference. But then our vet didn't know about my boys anxiety so he wouldn't be able to advise.

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NeganLovesLucille · 30/10/2017 18:21

My dog also has retained testicles. We know that he needs the surgery and that it is far more invasive than a normal castration. We have been told that it will cost about £400 and he will need recovery of about 2 weeks. He is a year old now and we are planning on getting it done next summer when we can spend the six weeks holiday off with him (I'm a teacher). The advice we were given is that it is best to have him done no later than 4 years old. We are hoping that it might sort out his toileting accidents in the house and the humping of our poor cats!

Personally, I would give your dog longer to settle in before his operation. Removing their testosterone when they are already anxious could make him more nervous.

harshbuttrue1980 · 30/10/2017 18:23

I know there are advantages of dog cages - I have a friend with a dog and the dog willingly goes in the cage to sleep and stays in there even though the door is always open - dogs like their dens!

However, I don't think its fair to lock an anxious new dog into a crate and leave it there. No wonder it broke out. You're supposed to ease a dog into crate training and make it want to go in by giving it treats etc, not just lock it in and leave it even when its distressed. I really hope you haven't forced it back into the crate when it so obviously got distressed when it broke out.
Maybe your home isn't the most suitable one if you plan to cage a dog for long periods of time by itself, as some dogs just don't take to it. A sensitive and anxious dog needs a very kind and sensitive owner.

Original poster
Givemeallthechocolate · 30/10/2017 18:27

Harshbuttrue- where did I say I left him in for long periods of time? Where did I say I didn't know how to use a crate? Did I say that I put him back in it?

Hmm you've made a lot of assumptions about how my dog is treated in my home.

Nothing I have said could lead anyone to believe I have been unkind or insensitive.

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Original poster
Givemeallthechocolate · 30/10/2017 18:33

NeganlovesLucille-thank you for sharing that with me, I've certainly got some advice on timescales to speak with the vet about, because he was going to have his Op this week. I'd just said I wanted him booked in ASAP, I took into account the kids were off for school hols this week and I avoided this week so routine was as normal as possible, but I've since found out about his anxiety so have had to take that into account. If he could understand he would be well chuffed at the prospect of keeping hold of his (unseen) jewels for another 8/9 months! X

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Original poster
Givemeallthechocolate · 30/10/2017 18:34

Grannysmith- thank you! He's worth it!

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nooka · 30/10/2017 18:35

The rescue that we got our puppy from castrated or spayed all of their animals before rehoming. We took our pup home at eight weeks and he'd been done already. Probably not optimal but it was their policy due to over population. If there were good reasons to delay I'd expect a good rehoming centre to pay the full cost or to have their own vet do the operation. I'd also expect better disclosure of information and more focus on matching dog to family. However rescues vary a lot, from national chains to small places run by volunteers.

When we got our last our cats they pretty much just said 'have a look and take two', no checks and pretty much no info. They did have over 300 cats to home at that point though, any home was pretty much better than no home as the shelter and all their fosters were overfull. Which is one of the reasons they neuter so agressively.

Original poster
Givemeallthechocolate · 30/10/2017 18:40

Honey boo- they absolutely knew. I just feel it's such injustice that they are supposed to care about the Welfare of these dogs, in fact welfare is in their name and they do this kind of thing.

They hold a lot of events to fundraise which I intended to take him to, but I feel like it's left a really bad taste.

It's horrible that they are left with these issues because owners don't always take on board what having a dog entails really saddens me.

OP posts:
CantChoose · 30/10/2017 18:43

CantCat was a ‘challenging’ rescue cat (I realise not the same a challenging dog!) but showed completely different behaviours with us that at the rehoming center. Some better, some worse. They were very open about how he had been there though so we felt prepared...

Original poster
Givemeallthechocolate · 30/10/2017 18:46

Nooka-oh my god. Just pick two? My god.

I can understand that they really vary, but I just can't see how they had his best intentions at all. It's a sad state of affairs when people who are supposed to love this particular breed don't care that they are going to a home prepared for them.
Confused I know I'm probably very naive but I expected some care shown.

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Original poster
Givemeallthechocolate · 30/10/2017 18:51

Cantchoose- how is can't cat now?
If they were open I'd have absolutely no issue. I say I wouldn't have taken him on if I knew, but the truth is I would have probably have just asked for advice with the transition as it wouldn't have been like any I've had with the dogs I'd boarded in my home, I'd have been prepared for him.

I should probably stop pretending that I'd have not had him, because when I saw his picture I fell in love.

OP posts:
CantChoose · 30/10/2017 19:16

CantCat is doing very well :) there is light at the end of the tunnel!! He looks like an aggressive bully cat now doesn’t he...

Rehoming dog- the welfare centre surely being U
Original poster
Givemeallthechocolate · 30/10/2017 19:41

Can't choose- he's beautiful!

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Original poster
Givemeallthechocolate · 30/10/2017 19:42

This is my boy! :-) 10 months old

Rehoming dog- the welfare centre surely being U
OP posts:
grannysmiff · 30/10/2017 19:46

So sweet 😊

Floralnomad · 30/10/2017 19:54

Oh he’s cute but looks like trouble , I would hold off neutering a long while he’s a big boy .

Original poster
Givemeallthechocolate · 30/10/2017 19:58

😍😍 thanks grannysmith!

😍😍 haha, well I'm glad the cover fits the personality! No to be fair hes amazing. He's got so much love, thank you for your advice. It's definitely all something I will speak with the vet about.

I'm sorry, I've just realised I didn't mention In any of the previous posts that he is a large breed dog

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Original poster
Givemeallthechocolate · 30/10/2017 19:59

Floralnomad- I've just gotta ask, you said whilst he's a big boy... just want to clarify, does he look fat?

OP posts:
Surfingwhippet · 30/10/2017 20:00

Boxer? He's gorgeous

grannysmiff · 30/10/2017 20:01

Hes not fat at all. Leggy though!

Original poster
Givemeallthechocolate · 30/10/2017 20:02

Surfingwhippet, partially, he's got a bit of old English bulldog in him which I can't see, but it's there apparently! In temperament he's boxer though, soppy as they come.

OP posts:
Surfingwhippet · 30/10/2017 20:11

My in laws have had around 8 boxers over the years and probably about 6 have been destructive in their puppy years. One destroyed the entire dashboard of a car by pulling the wiring down from behind it. They only left her for 15 minutes.

I guess what I'm trying to say is even if you have a boxer from a tiny puppy they can be destructive, but yes very loving.

Good luck with him, I'm sure he'll get there

CantChoose · 30/10/2017 20:13

Oh he’s gorgeous!

LucieLucie · 30/10/2017 20:29

Aww he’s gorgeous! Boxers are very loyal and biddable.

Unfortunately his separation anxiety won’t get better on its own he’ll need help with that through training and consistency.

Separation anxiety is really common in puppy farmed dogs who’ve been taken from their mother too young and not been socialised with people either. Poor boy.

I think this ‘rescue’ sound really shoddy and amateurish. I’m not surprised though. There’s only a couple of rescues I would ever take a dog from.

There was a case a few years ago of one rehoming a large bull breed dog to a woman who had s 4 year old daughter even though they were given information that the dog had previously bitten children. It savaged the girl and killed her. I don’t know what goes through the heads of these people. All information should be disclosed on every dog every time.

Anyway good luck with your boy.

carefreeeee · 30/10/2017 21:01

Some so called rescue centres are no better than puppy farms. They are just in it for the money. A decent rescue would pay the full cost of the cryptorchid castration. They sound dodgy (you're not in Stoke are you?)